All this does is make her sound like a gold digger. She had some shiny wrapping paper and once you ripped it off, all you found was a steaming turd. It's okay to end a relationship you have invested time in. Don't fall into the sunken cost fallacy. She sounds like an absolutely disgusting person and with this many red flags showing, her lies, and inability to communicate, I don't see this ever working out long term and you will find yourself miserable.
You need to sit him down, face to face, for a brutally honest, heartfelt conversation. He needs to be made aware that you are one person. You are not a superhero with super powers. You are doing the best you can. It's time for him to pitch in and start doing his part with his baby. It took both of you to make the child. It takes both of you to raise the child.
Tell him while this baby is an infant, 100% reliable on you for everything, that somethings will have to take a backseat.
If he wants special time with you, he needs to make it. Hire a babysitter and take you out. Then, he should take you home and treat you like the queen you are.
In the kindest way possible from someone who has been there, I think there's a good chance you don't actually know what you want, given how your emotions came as such a shock. You don't seem to be very in touch with your own feelings. They wouldn't be able to surprise you otherwise. They also definitely indicate that you want something more than just sex and that this connection meant something to you. Based on that, I think you should probably do a bit of honest introspection, and this might include facing the fact that you ignored your own needs and wasted 10 years on a man who is in love with someone else. It's only by doing thay that you can then figure out what it is that you really want and go after it.
Off the bat, my advice would be to let it go and start the process of moving on. I actually started to elaborate as to why, but then realized it honestly isn’t necessary, because you have the ability to get your answer immediately regardless of my or anyone else’s opinion.
Let’s put things into perspective here; you describe this person as your “soulmate” but you’re afraid to shoot your shot out of fear of rejection. If you get rejected, then she’s not your soulmate.
After that, you’re putting the cart way before the horse if she says yes. Those questions will get answered by you two talking about it. Good luck.
It just sounded weird him saying that before breaking his arm. I figured the punching his face in was a lesson. Idk. Hey everyone’s family can get crazy
I'm going to mention my experience, so yes, anecdotal, but not dissimilar.
I was trapped in an abusive relationship for six years (not saying this is what you went through) and by the time it ramped up, I was blind to it. Eventually I was freed, and it took time to get over the initial shock. In my case, I was blaming myself for a year and having those nightmares.
So, normal to still have those subconscious thoughts and nightmares, especially if you were together for five years. They'll fade, but my only advice is to keep your brain occupied.
I almost want to tell you to leave shit runnin when you move out. Hit the breaker for the fridge, leave on every single light, leave water running somewhere. Just to fuck him over
All this does is make her sound like a gold digger. She had some shiny wrapping paper and once you ripped it off, all you found was a steaming turd. It's okay to end a relationship you have invested time in. Don't fall into the sunken cost fallacy. She sounds like an absolutely disgusting person and with this many red flags showing, her lies, and inability to communicate, I don't see this ever working out long term and you will find yourself miserable.
You need to sit him down, face to face, for a brutally honest, heartfelt conversation. He needs to be made aware that you are one person. You are not a superhero with super powers. You are doing the best you can. It's time for him to pitch in and start doing his part with his baby. It took both of you to make the child. It takes both of you to raise the child.
Tell him while this baby is an infant, 100% reliable on you for everything, that somethings will have to take a backseat.
If he wants special time with you, he needs to make it. Hire a babysitter and take you out. Then, he should take you home and treat you like the queen you are.
If that isn't a sign…. picking unemployed bro over you.
In the kindest way possible from someone who has been there, I think there's a good chance you don't actually know what you want, given how your emotions came as such a shock. You don't seem to be very in touch with your own feelings. They wouldn't be able to surprise you otherwise. They also definitely indicate that you want something more than just sex and that this connection meant something to you. Based on that, I think you should probably do a bit of honest introspection, and this might include facing the fact that you ignored your own needs and wasted 10 years on a man who is in love with someone else. It's only by doing thay that you can then figure out what it is that you really want and go after it.
Off the bat, my advice would be to let it go and start the process of moving on. I actually started to elaborate as to why, but then realized it honestly isn’t necessary, because you have the ability to get your answer immediately regardless of my or anyone else’s opinion.
Let’s put things into perspective here; you describe this person as your “soulmate” but you’re afraid to shoot your shot out of fear of rejection. If you get rejected, then she’s not your soulmate.
After that, you’re putting the cart way before the horse if she says yes. Those questions will get answered by you two talking about it. Good luck.
It just sounded weird him saying that before breaking his arm. I figured the punching his face in was a lesson. Idk. Hey everyone’s family can get crazy
I'm going to mention my experience, so yes, anecdotal, but not dissimilar.
I was trapped in an abusive relationship for six years (not saying this is what you went through) and by the time it ramped up, I was blind to it. Eventually I was freed, and it took time to get over the initial shock. In my case, I was blaming myself for a year and having those nightmares.
So, normal to still have those subconscious thoughts and nightmares, especially if you were together for five years. They'll fade, but my only advice is to keep your brain occupied.
A lie by omission is still a lie and that's what she did here.
I almost want to tell you to leave shit runnin when you move out. Hit the breaker for the fridge, leave on every single light, leave water running somewhere. Just to fuck him over