Genetics are weird, but with what you describe and what OPs husband thinks and generally what I find from basic googling.
Brown eyes are considered a dominant Allele. So if you get one each from a parent and one of them is a brown gene then you should have brown eyes. If a parent has brown eyes, it is possible that they have one Brown Allele and one green allele. They could pass off the recessive allele such as blue eyes for for your sister.
But in general if both parents have blue or green eyes, it is highly highly unlikely that the child would have dark brown eyes as that trait would dominate if it existed in either parents.
So yes it is complicated, but in general the husband isn't wrong in thinking that a brown eyed child would be more likely to be from an affair than some weird anomoly. That being said the husband is an AH for how he is acting about some hypothetical
If this happened to me I would never be able to forget this and would always feel unstable in the relationship. Even if he apologised and took it back I would still be unsettled all the time.
Only take him back if he agrees to go to couple's counselling with you. When there, try to understand the discrepancy between why you just thought you were just 'fighting a bit more in the last few months' and he thought divorce was appropriate. Something has been going on with him in the last few months that you need to get to the bottom of and understand if there's any chance for this relationship.
You should absolutely move on and there is no point at all whatsoever in trying to resolve the issue.
It’s one thing that there have been a lot of arguments recently in your new relationship, it’s another thing that you have both identified the root cause of the issue that’s causing the continual arguments, that being poor communication (which clearly seems to be on his part) most people in a relationship don’t even bother to drill down to find the root cause of the problem and they just let the situation get worse.
Everything is perfect up until that point of trying to solve the problem BUT WTF is he on about that he isn’t prepared to compromise and make some minor changes/adjustments??
It clearly will only require a very small change that will stop all of these arguments??
For me personally if he is not prepared to compromise and make a couple of minor tweaks then he will NEVER EVER Be able to maintain a long term relationship and all of his future relationships will always fail in the early stages. Compromising with each other in a relationship is one of the core foundations that a relationship is built on and is required for a relationship to succeed.
Although he has told you that he is not prepared to make this small compromise that statement alone has even bigger implications. That being that he is not prepared to make a small compromise for the sake of your relationship, not prepared to do it for you which is him being disrespectful to you personally, he is disrespecting your relationship with each other and furthermore he is the sole person who is responsible for these arguments happening as it’s his poor communication that is causing it each and every time. You also have to remind yourself that if he can’t compromise here and make a small change then just think about all of the 1000s and 1000s of situations in the future where compromise from both of you would be needed in this relationship and just think about the fact that he won’t be compromising with you on any of them and just think of those big relationship decisions like moving to a new place etc, if he won’t budge on this then he certainly won’t on the big stuff. You are literally looking at a future relationship where he decided pizza for takeout on a Saturday night and the following Saturday it would be your turn to choose what take out you have and you want Chinese and he won’t compromise and he will want pizza again even though it’s your turn to choose and you end up with pizza again, those day to day normal non existent decisions are how it’s going to go.
Personally I think him saying he won’t compromise for something so bloody small, then taking into account you said these arguments have been continual and regular, even after you telling him that he is leaving you in the lurch with agreed plans I have to wonder if he orchestrated this on purpose, continually changing plans at the last minute, not telling you about the changes and continually letting you down even after you asking him for notification of any changes, orchestrated it so it caused this exact situation because he wants to end the relationship anyway for other reasons but he done it this way to force it. Saying that you aren’t prepared to compromise and make a small change is always going to be a relationship breaker for anyone and he would know this when he said it so clearly he isn’t bothered about the relationship or the relationship ending that for me also indicates that he has orchestrated this to happen on purpose.
There is a reason that a 39 year old man is targeting someone who is literally half of his age, and believe me… they are not good.
So let me save you some time – no. He is not serious about you. I guarantee that he is talking to others, probably sleeping with them too. His intentions towards you are not good.
And as someone who is more age appropriate to him… I would not touch him with a 50 foot pole. Women his age don't want him. There is a reason for that.
I will happily answer you but my questions are there for you and trying to answer my question with a question won’t get us far.
If you want a discussion I’m more than happy. If you plan to avoid having an honest discussion by avoiding my questions, just say so now and save us both the trouble
Sure, she’ll give it to you. Just throw it away. But don’t go to her house. Your parents & the babysitting? Don’t pick the kids up from school. Not their problem.
Genetics are weird, but with what you describe and what OPs husband thinks and generally what I find from basic googling.
Brown eyes are considered a dominant Allele. So if you get one each from a parent and one of them is a brown gene then you should have brown eyes. If a parent has brown eyes, it is possible that they have one Brown Allele and one green allele. They could pass off the recessive allele such as blue eyes for for your sister.
But in general if both parents have blue or green eyes, it is highly highly unlikely that the child would have dark brown eyes as that trait would dominate if it existed in either parents.
So yes it is complicated, but in general the husband isn't wrong in thinking that a brown eyed child would be more likely to be from an affair than some weird anomoly. That being said the husband is an AH for how he is acting about some hypothetical
If this happened to me I would never be able to forget this and would always feel unstable in the relationship. Even if he apologised and took it back I would still be unsettled all the time.
Only take him back if he agrees to go to couple's counselling with you. When there, try to understand the discrepancy between why you just thought you were just 'fighting a bit more in the last few months' and he thought divorce was appropriate. Something has been going on with him in the last few months that you need to get to the bottom of and understand if there's any chance for this relationship.
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Why can you not get a room on your own?
You should absolutely move on and there is no point at all whatsoever in trying to resolve the issue.
It’s one thing that there have been a lot of arguments recently in your new relationship, it’s another thing that you have both identified the root cause of the issue that’s causing the continual arguments, that being poor communication (which clearly seems to be on his part) most people in a relationship don’t even bother to drill down to find the root cause of the problem and they just let the situation get worse.
Everything is perfect up until that point of trying to solve the problem BUT WTF is he on about that he isn’t prepared to compromise and make some minor changes/adjustments??
It clearly will only require a very small change that will stop all of these arguments??
For me personally if he is not prepared to compromise and make a couple of minor tweaks then he will NEVER EVER Be able to maintain a long term relationship and all of his future relationships will always fail in the early stages. Compromising with each other in a relationship is one of the core foundations that a relationship is built on and is required for a relationship to succeed.
Although he has told you that he is not prepared to make this small compromise that statement alone has even bigger implications. That being that he is not prepared to make a small compromise for the sake of your relationship, not prepared to do it for you which is him being disrespectful to you personally, he is disrespecting your relationship with each other and furthermore he is the sole person who is responsible for these arguments happening as it’s his poor communication that is causing it each and every time. You also have to remind yourself that if he can’t compromise here and make a small change then just think about all of the 1000s and 1000s of situations in the future where compromise from both of you would be needed in this relationship and just think about the fact that he won’t be compromising with you on any of them and just think of those big relationship decisions like moving to a new place etc, if he won’t budge on this then he certainly won’t on the big stuff. You are literally looking at a future relationship where he decided pizza for takeout on a Saturday night and the following Saturday it would be your turn to choose what take out you have and you want Chinese and he won’t compromise and he will want pizza again even though it’s your turn to choose and you end up with pizza again, those day to day normal non existent decisions are how it’s going to go.
Personally I think him saying he won’t compromise for something so bloody small, then taking into account you said these arguments have been continual and regular, even after you telling him that he is leaving you in the lurch with agreed plans I have to wonder if he orchestrated this on purpose, continually changing plans at the last minute, not telling you about the changes and continually letting you down even after you asking him for notification of any changes, orchestrated it so it caused this exact situation because he wants to end the relationship anyway for other reasons but he done it this way to force it. Saying that you aren’t prepared to compromise and make a small change is always going to be a relationship breaker for anyone and he would know this when he said it so clearly he isn’t bothered about the relationship or the relationship ending that for me also indicates that he has orchestrated this to happen on purpose.
Ah. Sweetie, no. Just no.
There is a reason that a 39 year old man is targeting someone who is literally half of his age, and believe me… they are not good.
So let me save you some time – no. He is not serious about you. I guarantee that he is talking to others, probably sleeping with them too. His intentions towards you are not good.
And as someone who is more age appropriate to him… I would not touch him with a 50 foot pole. Women his age don't want him. There is a reason for that.
Run.
As someone who has been into fitness for a long time I can tell you one of the perks of being a PT is hooking up with clients.
Thats a thing?
Going by one of OP's comments she still wears the ex boyfriend's hoodie, so it might be closer to the present than it should be.
Housemates not roommates. We all have separate rooms and the walls are thick enough. Not the issue
You did your part. Just use protection so you don’t end up in a worse situation.
Nicely dodged…
I will happily answer you but my questions are there for you and trying to answer my question with a question won’t get us far.
If you want a discussion I’m more than happy. If you plan to avoid having an honest discussion by avoiding my questions, just say so now and save us both the trouble
Yes we were long distance for a while, but my friends all think it's super weird that they STILL barely know him.
Not everyone cares equally about being close to their partner's friends and family….have you ever told your bf that it's important to you?
Sure, she’ll give it to you. Just throw it away. But don’t go to her house. Your parents & the babysitting? Don’t pick the kids up from school. Not their problem.
UpdateMe!