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Kristin fansly.com/girl_u_never_met, 21 y.o.
Location: Europe
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Date: October 9, 2022
The only think i can suggest is to mirror her behaviour. Behave to her the same way she does to you. All dating coaches tell you do this. If she thinks you don’t care she will start trying to win you back.
If she comes forward it might actually work out for her. Police always take account of the victims and if this is legit revenge porn. They’ll probably offer her a deal to testify in exchange for immunity. Especially since this might get the feds involved since he distributed it nation/worldwide. Feds will for sure get involved
She needs to resolve her issues instead of beating you over the head with her insecurities
Mate it would be evil to NOT judge someone as toxic as she is.
You're bf is a racist POS
He rolled over and sulked after she apologized instead of accepting the apology.
Maybe you and her BF should exchange numbers
Writing this before I read the original.
Reading just this post has me scratching my head. It's like you guys communicated, but then.. instead of fixing the issue, put a bandaid on it.
The compromise you guys seemed to settle on still seems to be a somewhat open relationship, just not irl. Why is that? You mentioned you're a people pleaser and yea I can see that based on your post.
So, are you truly comfortable with the set up you guys agreed on or are you agreeing just to stay with him?
Good going.
But meanwhile, you seem to be pretty good at introspection, so don't forget to take help from yourself.
Also, therapy is a bit like dating – things will work only if you 2 have chemistry.
My take is that this guy is not actually making long-term plans around you. He shows no enthusiasm. You're fine, but you're optional. The plans he makes with you are just options if nothing better presents itself. You seem like you have a clear picture of the kind of life you want. I don't think you should sacrifice your career or any more of your childbearing years for him. I don't think it's going to pay off for you.
That's… actually a good idea. Write down your feelings and then let it go.
If after a year you still resent him for it there is a conversation you need to have. Namely if he still thinks he did the the right thing, or given chance to decide again he would bail on the house ceremony instead of you.
If he tells you he would do it again, then given after a tear you resent him for you should probably break up. He will do thing like this again sooner or later.
stop listening to Reddit, divorce him or ask him to change. just stop, this are mostly keyboard warriors and first solution that Reddit wants do do is scream divorce.
For what you described you guys had a wonderfully relationship.
Communication is what you really need.
Look, you changed, he didn't
He is felling pressure, even if you don't want him to change, you want to keep changing, and he might think that he need to change or he will lose you and he doesn't want to change or he might want to have more time with you.
you didn't outgrow him, his life style doesn't look unhealthy, it's just different, you guys might have grow apart, it doesn't mean that you are superior or he is, and you might just need to reevaluate your relationship dynamic, this might mean divorce, but it looks like you love him and he loves you, and this is worthy fighting.
one way or another, talk to him tell him how important this conversation are to this relationship, looks like you guys have a little extra budget, demand that both go to therapy, not a couples therapy, single therapy, each with they own therapist, so you can decided how you want to proceed. maybe after that couple therapy. but always first individual therapy for both.