If the reason you 2 broke up is cheating, block her, if the reason is manipulation/mental abuse, block her, basically if the break up was really really bad and she hurt you a lot, don’t speak to her
I've been in, and know plenty of people who have also been in, “monogamous” relationships where the woman hooking up with other women wasn't considered cheating.
That's perfectly fine, if that's what the couple agree.
In hindsight though, and with the benefit of maturity, I also recognise the latent homophobia of being ok with such an arrangement and not considering it an open relationship, because it generally indicates a fetishisation of female sex and relationships and indicates that the parties don't consider female in female sex “real” sex.
That is an awesome and thoughtful gift. It sounds like something my GF would buy, and she's the holy grail of gift givers. Even if I never wound up using it, I would be stoked to get a gift like that (I'm a contractor/handyman). Sounds like a possibility he's fighting a little bit of depression, tbh. Therapy might be more useful than buying “better” gifts. Honestly, you did an amazing job buying him a gift, imho.
I went through something similar a few years ago. At some point I realised that it was down to either me or him. If I didn't leave him, I couldn't go on with my own life. I'm not saying it was easy to do, it was *really* awful. But I got through it with the help of my friends and doing new stuff like going cycling and playing the piano. Everything is better now and I should have done it sooner.
He washed his sheets every two weeks. How is that a health issue? That's dirty in itself. He also has sex and THEN goes to bed? That's significantly more fluids than you would have BEFOREHAND. So they roll around in their sex fluids for two weeks and that's clean?
are you asking her to wash her hair before bed too? if so, that is completely unreasonable and i’d NEVER agree to sleep with wet hair every night and if she did she must really love you but if you’re just asking her to rinse off for 2 minutes i think she could just do it to make you happy. overall, this is not a reasonable thing to impose on someone but i’d probably comply if it was really the only thing you wanted IF you were in therapy to work on this as it does sound kind of psychological.
I am not afraid of being punched. I am afraid of Nazis believing nobody will fight them. My family has been fighting Nazis since 1939, I have no intention of ending that tradition, and if that's how I die, I am honored that my life would mean something.
I don’t understand why you would want to date a conservative. Realistically, if your political viewpoints clash then your moral/social viewpoints will also clash at some point. That will make dating in the long term likely tumultuous.
You’re dating an insecure, racist, alcoholic asshole. Please value yourself and walk away. You deserve so much better. I’d also recommend seeing a therapist to overcome the negative self-image this jerk has caused you to develop.
“Hey I respect you want to contribute more financially but if you making more money means youre more tired and we don’t have as much time to spend together, I’d rather have more time with you than more money.”
Never. Once that door is open it’s always open. I’ve forgiven, moved on, took breaks, counseling.. I’ve tried everything. They always cheat again. They simply cannot and will not help themselves.
You don’t get how she can be so cold? She gets on the phone with her boyfriend and expresses her undying love and devotion and does so right after sleeping with you.
Yikes that’s well above Reddit’s pay grade, I would highly suggest seeking professional mental health. It helped me through a dark time in my early adult like.
It's not your responsibility to be her caretaker. I have an incurable illness and a condition called SVT (Superventricular Tachycardia). It causes my heart to randomly get out of rhythm, beat too fast, and causes fainting. The only thing my family and friends can do is call an ambulance or get me to a hospital when it happens.
The description you gave of your girlfriend's disorder, particularly the hyperventilating, sounds like anxiety.
I would suggest that she see a therapist about her anxiety and panicking over this condition.
As far as you, you have to let yourself off the hook. She's an adult and can take care of herself. If she's ever legitimately sick and needs you to drive her to the doctor or hospital, fine. However, you can not be expected to babysit her 24/7.
Yeah I definitely see why the marriage on the rocks. Op thats exactly why your wife is pissed tho. Instead of talking to her about problems you have with her, you were gonna vent to another female. Its literally that simple.
Generally I think if you are dissatisfied in your relationship one of the worst reasons to stay is out of fear of not being able to find something better. A lot of times the grass IS greener.
Don’t waste your life wishing he were something other than what he is: a shady, lying cheat. He’s NOT open and honest. Don’t start desperately sucking up to him in the hopes he’ll pick you, that’s not going to help you. If he meant well he’d never have lied and snuck around behind your back.
What about long walks with her in a wheelchair. Or if she got a motorised wheelchair/mobility vehicle you could bike alongside? Think adaption rather than exclusion. Getting her to accept a wheelchair could be hot, it was for me, but it opens the world up again.
I’m asking specifically for a google pixel since he says they bombard him with notifications like this so I’m wondering if it operates differently than an iPhone in that way.
Yeah, but it's shitty to take advantage and try to charge him hundreds for essentially a service society has decided should cost less than $20 because he can't access that service directly. That service should be your reference for reasonable pricing.
Your husband is cheating on you. The real question is with how many women. There’s no reason to lie to your partner about your location unless your looking for a ring to propose or similar surprise(it’s not that) or he is doing something he doesn’t want you to know about, in this case fucking his coworker and God knows who else. Your sister immediately told you what happened which means she’s not doing anything with your husband. Don’t let this mess with your relationship with her. She’ll be the one who is still by your side when your husband is long gone.
You can't treat HPV infections. If you get a wart you can treat that but you will always carry the HPV virus. That's why the HPV vaccine is so important.
Just because you had a wart also doesn't mean that you are carrying a disease that will give your partner cancer or that you can never have sex again. Only some of the strands have a higher risk of causing cancer. But you can't test whether you are carrying a dangerous strand afaik.
You can reduce the risk by wearing condoms and not having sex while you have a genital wart and of course by getting vaccinated. But other than that it's a small risk that we all have to live with. HPV just like herpes is so widespread that it is absolutely impractical to try not to spread it through abstinence. Protecting yourself from the risky strands with a vaccine is though.
You can't treat HPV infections. If you get a wart you can treat that but you will always carry the HPV virus. That's why the HPV vaccine is so important.
Just because you had a wart also doesn't mean that you are carrying a disease that will give your partner cancer or that you can never have sex again. Only some of the strands have a higher risk of causing cancer. But you can't test whether you are carrying a dangerous strand afaik.
You can reduce the risk by wearing condoms and not having sex while you have a genital wart and of course by getting vaccinated. But other than that it's a small risk that we all have to on-line with. HPV just like herpes is so widespread that it is absolutely impractical to try not to spread it through abstinence. Protecting yourself from the risky strands with a vaccine is though.
You can't treat HPV infections. If you get a wart you can treat that but you will always carry the HPV virus. That's why the HPV vaccine is so important.
Just because you had a wart also doesn't mean that you are carrying a disease that will give your partner cancer or that you can never have sex again. Only some of the strands have a higher risk of causing cancer. But you can't test whether you are carrying a dangerous strand afaik.
You can reduce the risk by wearing condoms and not having sex while you have a genital wart and of course by getting vaccinated. But other than that it's a small risk that we all have to on-line with. HPV just like herpes is so widespread that it is absolutely impractical to try not to spread it through abstinence. Protecting yourself from the risky strands with a vaccine is though.
Op, she filmed yall for blackmail. That’s so fucked up. So not only did she take advantage of you because you were blackout drunk, she filmed it to make sure you remembered (implying she KNEW you were too drunk to make logical decisions). Also my husband and I have been black out drunk before, made out/ took all of our clothes off, but never had sex because we pass out. Are you sure this isn’t what happened? Either way I believe she absolutely knew what she was doing, wanted to make sure you broke up with your ex, took advantage of you, and more than likely lied about the pregnancy.
Your ex deserves to know what happened if you haven’t told her. If she thinks you willingly cheated on her and like this girl, that’s so fucked up. Why didn’t you tell her the truth to begin with? Tell her and leave her alone, but she deserves to know the truth, too. My husband and I had been together for 5 years when we got engaged and if this had happened to me without any reason why to explain the fact, I would be absolutely devastated.
A poly relationship only works if all parties are happy with each other. You won’t be happy, so you need to give him an ultimatum. He needs to choose. If he goes back to a cheat, she’ll probably cheat again because she’s knows she’ll get away with it again, but that’s his call.
There are millions of other people in the world that could make you happy, don’t waste your time staying with someone who wants someone else.
How is your mental health going to handle the criminal assault record?
No, be an adult. Remove yourself if need be. Do not assault people. Do you understand there's a whole spectrum of choices between “chit chat with your bully” and “literally, criminally assault someone”?
Because there's more to attraction than physical attraction. Focus on you in the meantime, the right one will come along!
Now, he’s not addicted to it anymore, just use it occasionally like do it with friends. Party. Maybe 2-4 times per week
yeah ok..its hot to not read this as a troll..are you being too naive? yes, yes you are.
troll. there was a post about this from the perspective of the SIL a few days ago
If the reason you 2 broke up is cheating, block her, if the reason is manipulation/mental abuse, block her, basically if the break up was really really bad and she hurt you a lot, don’t speak to her
I want to at least partially settle into a place I can call my own and make homely without having to worry about moving or flatmates leaving,
That's quite hot nowadays for people your age….keep in mind, even if you move in with an SO….relationships end all the time, and then?
Its not guilt tripping but whatever you say honey 🙂
I've been in, and know plenty of people who have also been in, “monogamous” relationships where the woman hooking up with other women wasn't considered cheating.
That's perfectly fine, if that's what the couple agree.
In hindsight though, and with the benefit of maturity, I also recognise the latent homophobia of being ok with such an arrangement and not considering it an open relationship, because it generally indicates a fetishisation of female sex and relationships and indicates that the parties don't consider female in female sex “real” sex.
As soneone else already said, he already dumped OP. Based on OPs responses this seems like it was the best course of action.
You flirted back at him, so this is your fault. If you had no intentions of going down that path, then you shouldn't have flirted back! It's on you.
That is an awesome and thoughtful gift. It sounds like something my GF would buy, and she's the holy grail of gift givers. Even if I never wound up using it, I would be stoked to get a gift like that (I'm a contractor/handyman). Sounds like a possibility he's fighting a little bit of depression, tbh. Therapy might be more useful than buying “better” gifts. Honestly, you did an amazing job buying him a gift, imho.
Call his parents. That’s what I would do.
I went through something similar a few years ago. At some point I realised that it was down to either me or him. If I didn't leave him, I couldn't go on with my own life. I'm not saying it was easy to do, it was *really* awful. But I got through it with the help of my friends and doing new stuff like going cycling and playing the piano. Everything is better now and I should have done it sooner.
u/duvalboyvm, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.
The right way to do it is to create a brand new Reddit account that begins with ThrowRA.
Please create a new account that starts with ThrowRA in the username and try again. Please note that we will not make exceptions to this rule.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
This is actually really helpful, thank you!
Sounds like he was SA’d
He washed his sheets every two weeks. How is that a health issue? That's dirty in itself. He also has sex and THEN goes to bed? That's significantly more fluids than you would have BEFOREHAND. So they roll around in their sex fluids for two weeks and that's clean?
are you asking her to wash her hair before bed too? if so, that is completely unreasonable and i’d NEVER agree to sleep with wet hair every night and if she did she must really love you but if you’re just asking her to rinse off for 2 minutes i think she could just do it to make you happy. overall, this is not a reasonable thing to impose on someone but i’d probably comply if it was really the only thing you wanted IF you were in therapy to work on this as it does sound kind of psychological.
I am not afraid of being punched. I am afraid of Nazis believing nobody will fight them. My family has been fighting Nazis since 1939, I have no intention of ending that tradition, and if that's how I die, I am honored that my life would mean something.
I don’t understand why you would want to date a conservative. Realistically, if your political viewpoints clash then your moral/social viewpoints will also clash at some point. That will make dating in the long term likely tumultuous.
You’re dating an insecure, racist, alcoholic asshole. Please value yourself and walk away. You deserve so much better. I’d also recommend seeing a therapist to overcome the negative self-image this jerk has caused you to develop.
“Hey I respect you want to contribute more financially but if you making more money means youre more tired and we don’t have as much time to spend together, I’d rather have more time with you than more money.”
Never. Once that door is open it’s always open. I’ve forgiven, moved on, took breaks, counseling.. I’ve tried everything. They always cheat again. They simply cannot and will not help themselves.
You're right it shouldn't matter if he takes it seriously. But it would put my mind at ease if he did take it seriously yk?
Don't stay with someone who barely pays attention to you. You're worth more than that.
You don’t get how she can be so cold? She gets on the phone with her boyfriend and expresses her undying love and devotion and does so right after sleeping with you.
about 7months, he said he never got physical.
You should never have hundreds of things to forgive your partner for.
Feel your feelings but you’re going to move on form this douche okay? Okay!!
Feel your feelings but you’re going to move on form this douche okay? Okay!!
Feel your feelings but you’re going to move on form this douche okay? Okay!!
Dude, I am concerned you even came here with this one.
Self-respect, a spine and a hearty Fuck You to her is all that was needed!
Saving this so I can show to my wife the perils of me getting too in shape.
Yikes that’s well above Reddit’s pay grade, I would highly suggest seeking professional mental health. It helped me through a dark time in my early adult like.
I don’t owe her anything either so maybe I’ll go try fuck her sister?
You're making assumptions based on very little.
It's not your responsibility to be her caretaker. I have an incurable illness and a condition called SVT (Superventricular Tachycardia). It causes my heart to randomly get out of rhythm, beat too fast, and causes fainting. The only thing my family and friends can do is call an ambulance or get me to a hospital when it happens.
The description you gave of your girlfriend's disorder, particularly the hyperventilating, sounds like anxiety.
I would suggest that she see a therapist about her anxiety and panicking over this condition.
As far as you, you have to let yourself off the hook. She's an adult and can take care of herself. If she's ever legitimately sick and needs you to drive her to the doctor or hospital, fine. However, you can not be expected to babysit her 24/7.
Yeah I definitely see why the marriage on the rocks. Op thats exactly why your wife is pissed tho. Instead of talking to her about problems you have with her, you were gonna vent to another female. Its literally that simple.
Generally I think if you are dissatisfied in your relationship one of the worst reasons to stay is out of fear of not being able to find something better. A lot of times the grass IS greener.
Don’t waste your life wishing he were something other than what he is: a shady, lying cheat. He’s NOT open and honest. Don’t start desperately sucking up to him in the hopes he’ll pick you, that’s not going to help you. If he meant well he’d never have lied and snuck around behind your back.
What about long walks with her in a wheelchair. Or if she got a motorised wheelchair/mobility vehicle you could bike alongside? Think adaption rather than exclusion. Getting her to accept a wheelchair could be hot, it was for me, but it opens the world up again.
I’m asking specifically for a google pixel since he says they bombard him with notifications like this so I’m wondering if it operates differently than an iPhone in that way.
Yeah, but it's shitty to take advantage and try to charge him hundreds for essentially a service society has decided should cost less than $20 because he can't access that service directly. That service should be your reference for reasonable pricing.
I think this is ultimately the move, when you’re ready.
Your husband is cheating on you. The real question is with how many women. There’s no reason to lie to your partner about your location unless your looking for a ring to propose or similar surprise(it’s not that) or he is doing something he doesn’t want you to know about, in this case fucking his coworker and God knows who else. Your sister immediately told you what happened which means she’s not doing anything with your husband. Don’t let this mess with your relationship with her. She’ll be the one who is still by your side when your husband is long gone.
Okay, I wasn’t sure if you did based on your comment. Thank you.
Okay, I wasn’t sure if you did based on your comment. Thank you.
You can't treat HPV infections. If you get a wart you can treat that but you will always carry the HPV virus. That's why the HPV vaccine is so important.
Just because you had a wart also doesn't mean that you are carrying a disease that will give your partner cancer or that you can never have sex again. Only some of the strands have a higher risk of causing cancer. But you can't test whether you are carrying a dangerous strand afaik.
You can reduce the risk by wearing condoms and not having sex while you have a genital wart and of course by getting vaccinated. But other than that it's a small risk that we all have to live with. HPV just like herpes is so widespread that it is absolutely impractical to try not to spread it through abstinence. Protecting yourself from the risky strands with a vaccine is though.
You can't treat HPV infections. If you get a wart you can treat that but you will always carry the HPV virus. That's why the HPV vaccine is so important.
Just because you had a wart also doesn't mean that you are carrying a disease that will give your partner cancer or that you can never have sex again. Only some of the strands have a higher risk of causing cancer. But you can't test whether you are carrying a dangerous strand afaik.
You can reduce the risk by wearing condoms and not having sex while you have a genital wart and of course by getting vaccinated. But other than that it's a small risk that we all have to on-line with. HPV just like herpes is so widespread that it is absolutely impractical to try not to spread it through abstinence. Protecting yourself from the risky strands with a vaccine is though.
You can't treat HPV infections. If you get a wart you can treat that but you will always carry the HPV virus. That's why the HPV vaccine is so important.
Just because you had a wart also doesn't mean that you are carrying a disease that will give your partner cancer or that you can never have sex again. Only some of the strands have a higher risk of causing cancer. But you can't test whether you are carrying a dangerous strand afaik.
You can reduce the risk by wearing condoms and not having sex while you have a genital wart and of course by getting vaccinated. But other than that it's a small risk that we all have to on-line with. HPV just like herpes is so widespread that it is absolutely impractical to try not to spread it through abstinence. Protecting yourself from the risky strands with a vaccine is though.
Op, she filmed yall for blackmail. That’s so fucked up. So not only did she take advantage of you because you were blackout drunk, she filmed it to make sure you remembered (implying she KNEW you were too drunk to make logical decisions). Also my husband and I have been black out drunk before, made out/ took all of our clothes off, but never had sex because we pass out. Are you sure this isn’t what happened? Either way I believe she absolutely knew what she was doing, wanted to make sure you broke up with your ex, took advantage of you, and more than likely lied about the pregnancy.
Your ex deserves to know what happened if you haven’t told her. If she thinks you willingly cheated on her and like this girl, that’s so fucked up. Why didn’t you tell her the truth to begin with? Tell her and leave her alone, but she deserves to know the truth, too. My husband and I had been together for 5 years when we got engaged and if this had happened to me without any reason why to explain the fact, I would be absolutely devastated.
A poly relationship only works if all parties are happy with each other. You won’t be happy, so you need to give him an ultimatum. He needs to choose. If he goes back to a cheat, she’ll probably cheat again because she’s knows she’ll get away with it again, but that’s his call.
There are millions of other people in the world that could make you happy, don’t waste your time staying with someone who wants someone else.
How is your mental health going to handle the criminal assault record?
No, be an adult. Remove yourself if need be. Do not assault people. Do you understand there's a whole spectrum of choices between “chit chat with your bully” and “literally, criminally assault someone”?
We've made jokes and passing comments about it, but how do I seriously bring that up gently, you know?