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Holly+, 20 y.o.
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Date: October 8, 2022
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Poor Sage. This is not at all healthy for Sage. Sage needs stability, a family, a home. Instead, he was thrown into a family where he was never accepted and became an object of infatuation.
That needed to be nipped in the bud by the dad as soon as he knew, for Sage's sake. Sage needs a family forever.
This person who was your friend for two years, you didn’t know enough about them?
Just break up. You don’t like them the way they wanna be liked.
She might not even be aware of it. You have to speak to her calmly about it, then give her time to think about it. Make your points, then go back in a few days to discuss them. Her response will tell you all you need to know.
UpdateMe!
This comment section makes me really mad, it's not okay that she said that, it's not something to just get over and your not overreacting. Of course she doesn't want you dead but she absolutely should never habe said that. I have absolutely never said that to someone no matter how much I hate them and expecially not to someone I love. It's definitely something you could work through if that's something you want, but it's also something that is allowed to make you upset and make you feel uncomfortable. You don't have to forgive her and definitely need to have a conversation with her to figure out how it even got so far
She won't…she's mad now but when she sees the ring…she'll be happy. Just have a long engagement. Maybe a year or two…gives her plenty of time to plan the wedding. Sometimes making plans to get married at a certain age or having a baby in two years or whatever doesn't always work out. Shit happens. Do you really want to lose her over wanting to be married at 30? Will being married at 27 really make a difference?
There is a giant screaming, bright red flag why this came up. 30 yo married women with good jobs dont go this route. Something OP needs to get the real story on.
This is difficult. He doesn't own up to his mistakes and is selfish. While I get, that someday you need to get past this moment, he isn't in the position to tell you when or how fast. I don't know what you did tell him, but if I were you, I'd tell him: “Look, while I understand this frustrates you and you changed for the better, it did break my trust and instead of owning up to your past, you yell at ME that I cannot forgive you so easily. You betrayed me and while you're trying to force me to forgive and forget, it only gets worse. You need to respect my sad moments and need to win my trust back. If I did this to you, you would feel the same. Think about my words and as long as you don't respect me and my feelings, I want some distance.”
Give your fiancé some space and time to process his feelings. It’s normal to be distant and cold after such a heated argument, and pushing him to be affectionate or communicative might only make things worse. Instead, show him through your actions that you are committed to making things right.
Let him know that you're willing to listen to him when he's ready to talk, but don't pressure him to open up before he's ready.
Until then, focus on taking care of yourself and your baby.
Where is his lack of commitment? You've been dating for 7 years, and you're saving for a house. If that isn't commitment, I don't know what is.
Lots of marriages don't last 7 years.
Happy cake day!
Talk to a local lawyer. Generally you would get the house appraised to settle the price. Whether there is a mortgage or not, or a new one required talk to the lawyer about.
My dad wanted to be self employed, and he was eventually but when he was just starting out he worked a regular full time job. Once his business took off he was able to step back from his regular job. It’s just what people do unless they are rich and have access to endless amounts of nepotism money.
Just because he was unhappy doesn't mean you did something wrong or you need to blame yourself because of it.
Often negative feelings fester during the relationship and become resentment without either party knowing or understanding why.
He did well for himself and he is moving on, you should too.
Take sometime to heal, finish your school and later, when the negative feelings are dealt with, reflect on the relationship in a healthy way, see what both of you did wrong and where you can do better for yourself and for your next relationship.
Ah, because he loves her so much?
Quit that crap, would you?
Welcome to 2023!