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Stella, y.o.
Location: USA
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Date: October 8, 2022
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What should I do?
Shit or get off the pot.
You're married with kids. You know the right answer… break contact with your ex and put yourself into your current actual life. not your “I wish I woulda” life. That's the past and not the current.
If you're going to make it the current instead? Then get a divorce and take the chance.
But one way or the other, you need to stop waffling and go all in.
In that case she can be the first one to earn more
You had choices, and you need to come to terms with the fact that everything you did after that blackout night was a choice that you freely made. What you should have done was tell your gf the truth – you got really drunk and have no memory of the night, but now abc is claiming she’s pregnant. That would be you being honest, including her on the situation, and giving her agency to make her own decision about your relationship. And then you tell abc – “if you’re actually pregnant, I will support you and my child, but we are not in a relationship and I’m actually struggling to come to terms with what happened that night, given that I remember nothing.”
You say your ex wasn’t disposable, but you need to recognize that’s how you treated her and your relationship. You threw her away. You weren’t honest, you didn’t fight for the relationship, and then you got engaged immediately. This is not the 1800s – taking responsibility means caring for your child and supporting your child’s mother, not marrying someone you’ve never even been in a relationship with. It’s actually truly bonkers that you considered doing that.
yeah not far off the nail with this one