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  1. Turn your mind to other things. Do something that bolsters your own self-esteem, your own fun, whatever you like. Turn your mind away from the fact that your fiance, who you trust, is going out dancing with her sister and her sister's husband, which is fun & normal. Don't be the guy who sits at home stewing instead of living his own life. Jealousy is just about fear of losing; the less fear you have of losing, the stronger you will be. (Lifelong jealous person here.)

  2. Quite simply, he's not that man anymore and likely won't ever be him again. Also, I'd consider changing therapist if this is the conclusion you've reached after 6 years of professional counseling.

  3. Making jokes at your expense and giving you the silent treatment (at all, for any reason) do not show the traits you listed.

    A person who is caring would not do those things. A person who is patient would not do those things. A person who is loving would not do those things. A person who has any sense of maturity (especially at 30!) should not be doing those things.

    If I saw my sister in a relationship with someone doing the behavior you listed, in less than a year of dating especially, I would be exceptionally concerned and not liking it.

    You also shouldn't be afraid to bring up familial concerns with him over his behavior. Like. At all.

    That's not healthy.

    I really really encourage you to reflect on this.

  4. 26 and 23 for me, pretty sappy but not once has it felt like “effort” to communicate about issues and talk anything through, it just feels natural to want your relationship with the one you love to be as clean as possible of any potential drama

  5. u/merokez, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.

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  6. Hello /u/Some_Panic_5061,

    Your post was removed for the following reason(s):

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  7. Hello /u/Greypassionfruit,

    Your post was removed for the following reason(s):

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    We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:

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  8. What does she contribute to the relationship? What does she pay for? Does she have a job? What chores does she do around the house/apartment?

  9. Sure, be upset, but whoa Nelly!! Be her friend!!! Could you imagine being in her position? She needs to find strength and courage to leave him. She's not making clear choices, and sounds like doing the best she can, and you're adding to this for her. I'll bet she's a hot mess inside right now! ☹️☹️☹️☹️ My heart hurts for her. It sounds so easy, leave him, but there so much more to this. Please educate yourself about dv and emotional abuse. If not you, I hope she finds a real friend who can help her see she deserves better – anyone would.

  10. promise I’m not a shitty fiancé lol. I was bored and I get anxious whenever he flies so I was entertaining/distracting myself. But also, def check out the YouTube clips of nathan for you. He’s pretty awesome

  11. Does your wife have other special areas in which her and your son bond just them? You say you have video games to play with him in addition to the chess. Does your wife play video games with him too? Or perhaps something else similar?

    The more I read your replies the more I wonder if perhaps she wishes chess could be a special bonding activity between just her and your son.

    You say now because of the different ways you’ve been playing with him he only wants to play with her. It has made me wonder if maybe she sabotaged you knowing that a kid isn’t going to want to keep playing against someone who always beats them.

    Maybe, most likely even subconsciously, she wants your son to prefer playing with her, but she doesn’t want to admit, to you or herself, that she sabotaged your playing with him so that he could prefer her.

    I see a lot of parents struggle with wanting to be picked over the other by their children at one point or another in different activities and times. It’s a difficult thing because obviously one doesn’t want to be discouraging their kids relationship with their other parent but they just also crave something special from the kid.

  12. I am a fan of her idea overall. It is the mindset that bothers me with the other plan. “I earn x” “you earn y”. Nope, it is “we earn x”. When you get married, you become a unit.

    So personally, I prefer paychecks go to joint account and some petty cash is put on individual accounts. That is the beer money. Anything you spend over 1k, you should discuss with your partner ANYWAY. Even if you were 100% individual accounts, you should still discuss it.

    Are you 2 individuals under 1 roof, or a unit in a home? Do you want to “negotiate” when you have cancer about what your allowance should be? When she becomes pregnant, does she have to ask you for an increase if the company starts slashing her pay (yes illegal, but still happens). Like I said, i don't care what each person makes, it is a unit after marriage. Otherwise just live! together for years without marriage, what is the difference?

  13. A week is nothing. My in-laws come for up to three months. They are lovely people, and there's a language barrier (his mother only speaks a local dialect, there are no resources to learn the language and at 92 she's not going to start learning English).

    I'm an introvert but I deal with it. I can stay in my room if I don't want to be with them. I can ask my partner to translate when I think it might be interesting to know what they're talking about.

    My partner didn't like my parents either (and given that my mother was a racist bigot, his opinion was fully justified), but he was nothing less than gracious with them when they came.

    After my mother died, Dad started coming more often, and stayed longer, and we all got on very well. I worked hot to translate stuff for both parties and it all worked out well.

    If your mother is a considerate guest, your partner needs to suck it up for a week and be a kind, thoughtful, generous host, because damn it's your mother.

  14. Well, you are allowed to like whatever you like, but it is not her fault that she has an accent.

    Of course reality is different from your imagination, lol.

  15. Not sure I can see how op has much choice here other than not go on the trip and I don't think a 2 month relationship justifies this. Did I miss an alternative?

  16. Do you want to hang out with Greg and Miranda? For you? If you had no husband/Emily concerns, what would you want to do? Does your husband hang out with you and Emily and her current husband?

    Reality is, this situation will never go away and it will always be background factor as long as you and your hubs are friends with Emily and Greg. If you have even a faint hope of a dinner party with everyone eating happily around a table, lose that now.

    This is the deciding factor on what you do next – if the only reason you would hang with Greg and Miranda is because your husband wants to, then you need to do some thinking about your boundaries and having a long chat with your husband about what YOU are comfortable with and how YOU and YOUR HUSBAND will jointly address the uncomfortable social situation.

    Either way, you need to have a talk with Emily and make it clear you are not and will not be her flying monkey and she needs to stop asking you about Greg.

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