0 views
Meow , ❤️ Ukrainian catwoman`s chat ^^ Lush is ON \ Thanks for your love [3289 tokens remaining]
Date: October 6, 2022
AmateurPub
That is a challenge of LDRs.
So much weight is placed on conversation. If you cannot converse, then you two disconnect. Talking, is literally your lifeline and glue holding your connection together.
And look, sometimes my own reletionship experiences the same thing.
We can run out of things to talk about. And with my friends, I can be on the phone for hours with. Why? Because my friends and I have more base level shared interests.
My gf and I… we have very little in common when it comes to interests. But the chemistry of our personalities is the glue for us. Additionally, I get so much more from my GF that I cannot get from my friends that is beyond conversation.
You're not receiving that side of the reletionship because your person is unattainable in your day to day life… The LDR is a massive wall for you two.
Good questions to ask:
How often do you see each-other? How long have you been dating? What are you plans for closing the distance? When can you realistically remove the distance factor?
Screw with him a little bit by putting the air tag on a city bus. Then dump him.
Ohhhh the “pity party” maneuver. Been there. Both the threats to break up and the “not good enough” stuff if standard-issue manipulative bullshit. They have a singular purpose…to get you to stay in an inadequate relationship. One where they don’t have to improve anything or meet any adequacy levels, but you stay anyway.
What response does it elicit out of you? Whatever it is, that’s the goal. If you’re like most people (who aren’t already highly attuned to this), you’ll be all “nooooooo honey, I love you and you’re awesome. Don’t feel bad about yourself…” when he does the not-good-enough crap. Or the threats to break up, usually EXTREMELY ill-timed for you to be dealing with something like that (see how that works?) will cause you to reflexively try to secure the status quo, usually by letting shit go that you shouldn’t.
I would nearly bet that he doesn’t really want out of the relationship. More likely what he really wants is for you to accept and be happy with whatever crap partner he feels like being and you not hassle him about anything, ever.
Now the “wanting to be alone” thing…he may mean it, or maybe he just feels that way in the moment he feels “hassled” by you, or it could just be more of the same manipulation, in this case to get you to back off whatever. Thing is…it doesn’t really matter. Because the only response you should ever give to someone that says they want to break up (or be alone) is “OK.” If they’re being genuine, it’s the right response. If they’re being manipulative, it’s still the right response. 😉
I had a major turning point on my life, probably late 20s, when I learned to take adult partners at their word. I will accept what they say with the assumption that it’s completely genuine, and act accordingly. Even when I know damn well it isn’t. Because like I said, if genuine, you should treat it as such. If manipulative, you STILL should treat it as genuine. Because nothing nips manipulative behavior in the bud faster than that. It also works for passive aggressive behavior. Oh they said “nothing’s wrong”? Ok, then nothing is wrong. No matter how many cabinet doors they slam or pissy one-word responses they snarl out. They said nothing is wrong so you won’t acknowledge that anything even might be until they can use their big boy words and say so.
If you decide to do this, I would tell her immediately and help her find somebody to replace you even if you have to scout around for a little bit. As far as whether you should or not, I don’t think anybody can make that decision for you but you.
I will tell you on her part if my partner did that to me, I probably would leave them eventually I wouldn’t trust them anymore and it would hurt my feelings if they could do that to me. I probably wouldn’t get over it. I might hang out for another year or so, but I’d eventually find a way to get out from under it meaning out from under the relationship.
Look in a mirror and develop some respect for yourself.
Women, too. Because all religions are the same. So if a wife all of a sudden wants to be a housewife and stay at home mom, she will dig her heels into whatever book can help her make that argument.
The same goes for men. If they want to be lazy and only financially contribute to the household, all of a sudden, they know the scripture like they wrote it themselves.
I don't know how you can move forward without her telling you what happened.
If it's bad enough that you need to cut contact with your dad, you need to know.
I would tell her if she's not willing to talk to you about it, even knowing you will support her no matter what it is, then you need a relationship counselor. They can either explain to her why she needs to tell you OR they will help you figure out how to move forward without that information. I personally think she needs to tell you, but I'm not a professional.