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1. His house, his asset, his money, his renovations, and his problem for finding a way to pay for all of that. In short, it sounds to me as though you have no equity or part-ownership in the house. So all you would be doing by helping to pay for the renovations is increasing the value of an asset that he wholy owns and that you have no rights to. Plus, if his salary is almost 4 times your salary, there is no way in hell he should be expecting you to contribute to his house in that way.

   The only way in which I would say he does not look like an a*hole in this situation is that he is right about this being a bad time to bring up the topic of engagement and marriage. However, that is true on both sides – he has a lot going on at the moment with his father… but also his comments “does your father know what I and my family have done for you?” reeks of someone who is going to use the “things they have done for you” as a stick to beat you with or as a reason why you need to put up with crappy behaviour on his part.

   Basically, your father seems to be rushing things, and your boyfriend does not seem to respect you as a person or see you as an equal in the relationship.

   My advice is to keep your money to yourself for now, and contribute to things like food and utilities in proportion to your relative income (so you contribute $26 for every $90 he pays, excluding bills such as mortgage, property tax, and others directly linked to the ownership of the house, which he pays in full); to tell your father that pressuring you and boyfriend into marriage is not going to work, and for you and your father both to recognize that this relationship with your boyfriend is probably not going to end in that kind of arrangement. Also, make sure you do not get pregnant, because that will just complicate things vastly.

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