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Date: March 30, 2023
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I think we fundamentally disagree. A friend is a friend to me and I don't treat them any differently from each other. If I knew it'd be an issue with someone's significant other beforehand then naturally I'd make accommodations but this hasn't happened to me before.
Look……your friends all know it’s the same guy. They figured it out just as well as you did. They’re not sending you more videos because they still need to you confirm it’s your long lost friend. They’re sending you more videos because they want to keep talking about your long lost friend. So the idea that you are the only thing standing in the way of everyone finding out the identity of this video guy is cute but not true.
Just tell your friends that you’re not interested in pursuing anything about your long lost friend and you want to stop talking about it with them. Say that he ghosted all of you for a reason and you’re happy to put this all behind you without constantly speculating about what he’s doing now. But at the same time, you can’t control what your other friends do and how they act. You acknowledge that you had a very different relationship with this guy than the rest of the guys did, so you need to let them figure out for themselves how to proceed. Your friend did real harm to these guys and it’s not your job to stop them from processing their feelings about it. All you can do is say you don’t want to be involved.