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1. He was/is dependent on you. He felt secure when he knew you were both co-dependents. Now he knows that if necessary you could leave him and be fine while he would be devastated.

   If he hasn’t already, the next step will be trying to get you to have babies to keep you with him. I’m not sure how you’re going to do it, if you even want to, make him feel more secure. Maybe one place to start would be going to the gym together. Try to replace the video games with workouts. It should help his confidence and he can see that you are serious about being in shape (rather than trying to find a replacement). Remind him that you’ve always made more than him but you consider whatever you two make to be “family” money and the more you make the better the overall situation will be.

   I do think it would be better to do this in therapy together. This is going to take time, if you’re not willing to invest the time and money it will take to make things the way they should be, maybe you need to think about a future apart from him.

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