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Frenchyfuckers, y.o.
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Date: March 26, 2023
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Read the first sentence and I was like yep lots of Asians like that here in Silicon Valley. They’re totally different than my American born Asian friends like they don’t have shit in common especially that let’s cover our skin on sunny days (which is most days in CA), let’s look for white boyfriends and stuff like that. Sounds exhausting man, she must be very hot or you have no other options otherwise why put yourself through this drama?
You’re sweet. 🙂
It’s great to be passionate about and have opinions things but there’s a time and place. Mature people don’t go looking for fights. She’s absolutely looking to start fights with you so she can make points and it’s wildly inappropriate.
He’s scared and worried. Probably jealous too.
There should not be the expectation that you do even as much as you do now- All of it should be 50/50.
He feels you passing him by, worried he’ll become one of the changes you’ll make.
Is that one of the changes you’ll make? If not, read that to him and ask him how he feels about it. If you haven’t talk about boundaries. That boundaries don’t mean you love him any less. what are your love languages? Do you think that either they have changed recently? Do you see each other as allies or adversaries? You all are married. Life partners.
She has an IUD so the chances of her getting pregnant in the near future are near zero, while we are still careful
That does help, thanks. Just wanted to make sure I wasn't insane for feeling like it was being overblown.
Put an elastic on your wrist and every time you wander into romantic/non-professional/regretful thoughts about her snap it very hot and consciously redirect your thoughts elsewhere to the labwork/project etc.
Outside the lab, try new activities where you will meet new people and learn new things.
2 is the only decent option you have here unless you opt for 5) Quit and switch schools/move away.
Emotions/infatuation/love/feelings – they require energy to thrive. Starve those feelings the same way you would quit smoking or change other bad habits. When you start thinking/feeling stop and redirect your thoughts/focus to something else and work on developing new distractions/new interests. The elastic is because the sharp physical feeling is a good way to snap you out of a feelings loop.