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Loretta, 18 y.o.
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Date: February 23, 2023
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She didn't threaten to kill herself if I leave, she threatened to kill me. But we're working on that
What she is saying here is that she is frustrated that you're being stubborn about not accepting her attempts to give you reality checks.
I would also add that this was said while she was stressed herself and trying to help OP deal with their stress. A lot of people will be upset if they feel expected to brush their own stressful situation aside to handle someone else's, specially if the person ends up not being receptive to the help (since then it becomes having to brush their own stress aside to insist on helping someone else).
It’s a rather blunt way to put it but he’s not wrong. Nobody goes into a relationship with the expectation of cheating. I think he’s more pushing back on the idea that only men cheat seems to me
Thank you
I don't recall the original post, but I am very proud of you for leaving. Sometimes people get caught up in their own bubble and need to get input from unbiased others in order to see the reality of their own situation inside said bubble, and I am glad you knew to reach out which gave you the clarity you so desperately needed!
Late is forgoing the next obligations.
“It is a big deal because being late means you are ignoring the things that come after your tennis and saying they are unimportant.
Would he tell his job that he’s late all the time. Would his boss accept it?
Being late is a broken promise.”
You can lecture him a little and see if he realizes if. But lecturing him about respect is pointless if he doesn’t respect you.
There comes a time when you have to respect yourself enough to choose someone that respects you.
Thank you. I appreciate that. Take care of myself, that I must do.
While it’s true that his problem is the abuser but he would benefit from therapy both internal with how he deals with it but also giving him direction on how to handle scenarios with his abuser. Instead of random people on Reddit, it would be an actual therapist giving him advice.
It’s not the seven years itch. It’s you feeling unappreciated and probably a bit unloved and valued. You feel like his mom / maid because honestly that’s what you are to him. Stop doing things for him. Go on strike. Try this, tell him from now on it’s his job to wash and put the dishes away. If you go to Cook the next day or next time eating time comes and he hasn’t washed the dishes then don’t cook and go buy yourself something to eat and then come home and eat it in front of him. If he complains tell him it was his job to wash the dishes and it isn’t your job to remind him. You got tired of waiting for him to do it and you were hungry so you took yourself out, because you shouldn’t be punished for his actions. If he is hungry he is an adult and has hands and can figure something out. If for the next meal he still hasn’t washed them then go on a completely strike. From now on you only wash your clothes. You only Cook enough food for yourself. Or take yourself out and buy just for you. I bet you pretty soon he is going to start complaining about how unfair you are being and he doesn’t understand or want to change your current arrangement. He isn’t going to like it but since your no longer going to be cleaning it gives you more free time to pick up a hobby or hang out with your friends more. The problem here is your burnt out and he doesn’t care enough about you to try to fix it. So stop trying. He is not a child so stop treating him like one. If he still doesn’t get it togheter then really consider if this is how you want the rest of your life to be.
Understanding what happened & how to move forward.