You are stronger than I was. Something similar happened to me around the same age, long term relationship. It wasn't abuse in her friends case but drugs. Next thing you know all these made up scenarios were 100% real for her. How do you convince someone you didn't do something you didn't do? I stuck it out for a few more miserable years. In hindsight I think she wanted to date around and experience the benefits of being pursued by flashy guys throwing their cash around. Because she was 26/27 with no kids and struggling to make bills and be a real adult. They make up scenarios to make you the bad guy so they can justify the behaviors they are doing behind your back. It hurts.
Very true. I've learned this in the past, even with her. It has come to the point in the past where it was suffocating. I've learned to step away and take a breather when things feel they're getting that way, but I decided last time it got -really- bad that if there was no progress forward then I'd call it quits. But, progress is so hard to understand a lot of the time. Like.. what does that even look like? Nobody has emotions that just linearly improve. It's a roller coaster. The problem is that it feels like hers are very… bumpy.. which makes it especially very hot to understand if the progress is happening or she's just having temporary spouts of happiness, security, and independence.
My mental health does matter. I believe I have a fear of messing up, but I also have a fear of not living my life. If she's finding ways to be dependent when she's 5 hours away, I'm worried what dropping what she's doing with work/school to live closer to me would do. Despite dating 1.5 years, I do not feel comfortable making any big commitments, but I also do not feel just in stopping as I have hopes and I do still love her.
Just using basic common sense, nothing else, then yes of course you should break up with him. Gambling addicts always ruin their finances and he's actively trying to ruin yours. Honestly, at this point it shouldn't matter how close you are to him because all he is gonna do is drag you down into debt and depression.
You are stronger than I was. Something similar happened to me around the same age, long term relationship. It wasn't abuse in her friends case but drugs. Next thing you know all these made up scenarios were 100% real for her. How do you convince someone you didn't do something you didn't do? I stuck it out for a few more miserable years. In hindsight I think she wanted to date around and experience the benefits of being pursued by flashy guys throwing their cash around. Because she was 26/27 with no kids and struggling to make bills and be a real adult. They make up scenarios to make you the bad guy so they can justify the behaviors they are doing behind your back. It hurts.
And he’s not abusive or toxic at all. He’s a really amazing guy
it’ll cause a huge argument because he will be so against using condoms if I’m on the pill
It can't be both.
Very true. I've learned this in the past, even with her. It has come to the point in the past where it was suffocating. I've learned to step away and take a breather when things feel they're getting that way, but I decided last time it got -really- bad that if there was no progress forward then I'd call it quits. But, progress is so hard to understand a lot of the time. Like.. what does that even look like? Nobody has emotions that just linearly improve. It's a roller coaster. The problem is that it feels like hers are very… bumpy.. which makes it especially very hot to understand if the progress is happening or she's just having temporary spouts of happiness, security, and independence.
My mental health does matter. I believe I have a fear of messing up, but I also have a fear of not living my life. If she's finding ways to be dependent when she's 5 hours away, I'm worried what dropping what she's doing with work/school to live closer to me would do. Despite dating 1.5 years, I do not feel comfortable making any big commitments, but I also do not feel just in stopping as I have hopes and I do still love her.
You can say 'No'
He'll be the one breaking you up, not you.
Just using basic common sense, nothing else, then yes of course you should break up with him. Gambling addicts always ruin their finances and he's actively trying to ruin yours. Honestly, at this point it shouldn't matter how close you are to him because all he is gonna do is drag you down into debt and depression.
This is the only aspect she spoke about she says God spoke to her directly …I don’t know when next or what next Gods gonna tell her to do