" Henry" and I have been together for about 10 months. We all rarely have disagreements, and when they do happen they' re usually about diverging preferences in movies, food, and so forth
One thing is he' ersus a little weird about money. He' s a skilled software engineer who has been making big money since he graduated college, but this individual was a first-gen student with an immigrant background and constantly had to work really nude. So as a result he is still very thrifty and anal about money.
I on the other hand had a normal middle course upbringing with two open public schoolteacher parents. However , We graduated with a humanities education and for several years I was producing no more than ~$60k. Over the past few years I managed to pivot directly into tech and just recently got an $85k/year developer position which I am very excited and happy about normally.
Anyway, Wednesday Henry a new big get-together at their house for his birthday (which is tomorrow). There must have been 25-30 people generally there and I knew very few of them. At one point we were all in his living room and he wanted to do a round-robin introduction thing. We were supposed to say our name, what we do, and one interesting fact regarding ourselves.
when it came to our turn, I introduced myself, mentioning that I was Henry' s BF and that I had been about to start a new job. I had had a couple of beverages and kind of overshared that I was excited because it was obviously a big pay bump. Certainly I didn' t state the amount. But all of a sudden Henry interjects with: " Don' t get ahead of your self honey, it' s still only 85k! Hahahaha. "
I was completely taken aback and stunned and just handed it onto the next individual. I couldn' t think he would call out the salary in front of a huge group of mostly strangers, most of who were software people who possibly make double what I' ll be making. I didn' t bring it up and also have no idea if I should. A few friends told me I need to loosen up and not even think of getting it up until at least right after his birthday, if at all. But what he said significantly offended, hurt, and humiliated me and I want your pet to know that. Thoughts?
submitted by /u/ThrowRA_Throw_Away
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… I fully agree that assault is assault, whether or not it’s reported. People are only questioning the validity of the story because it’s a Reddit post – and before you do the gender swap thing again, I have seen people question women’s rape claims on this sub because of the way the post is written. Unfortunately troll posts exist, and some people have no problem inventing SA stories that never happened, which is disgusting and should never happen, but this is Reddit.
I think what the commenter was more getting at, is that it should be reported not because a police report is the only thing that would legitimise their assault but because there’s a very real chance that there is sex trafficking going on here, and I personally think he has a moral duty to try and help those vulnerable women now that he knows (/suspects) it’s happening.
But, to my original point, none of what they said was victim blaming anyway. I think you’re getting hot headed about slightly the wrong thing here. Right energy, wrong target.
Sounds like she broke up with you. No one else wants her. So she wants a quick hit from you. Until she can find a new guy.
To keep it short. Yes. It is a sign of respect.