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Room for online sex video chat CurvyJules69
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Date: September 5, 2022
Please tell me where OP said that she wanted to be childfree despite the infertility. The way I read it, OP has mentioned she wants to remain childfree to omit the fact that she is infertile. And just as I was writing this OP just replied in a comment saying she always wanted kids, so my assumption was right. So that renders your first paragraph null.
This is not just any fact. This is not “I had an infill on my rear molar on 4th grade due to eating too much candy”, even if that was your point, couples tell each other rudimentary facts about themselves all the time, even if they have no impact in anything whatsoever. The fact that you are rendering infertility to a similar degree of insubstantiality as a broken bone is crazy to me. I agree it is a sensitive subject which you don't have to disclose on your 3rd date in Costa Coffee, but to your long-term partner? I have empathy, but being empathic about insecurity does not mean I could just ignore an omission like that if someone did it to me. Call me crazy, but I cannot for the life of me understand.
Also, I would appreciate it if you could explain to me where my knowledge about HIV and asexuality are lacking, so I can either correct myself or learn someting new.
I’d ask her two very important questions. 1. What would you consider to be a reasonable amount of sex per week/month/year?
While sex may not be important to her, she should have some concept of what your needs are. If she can’t answer or gives something like once a year, you know she isn’t even thinking about your needs. The next question will firmly put your needs in her mind. 2. How long do you expect me to put up with this?
Right now she is only thinking of her own needs. This question puts her on notice that she’d better start thinking of your needs or it could end the marriage. She can’t expect you to go without sex or to not ever make love again. It’s simply not a reasonable expectation. She needs to understand that the course you two are on will end in disaster if not changed.
It could very well be she is asexual and if so you’re going to have to figure out what you want to do. You could stay and have affairs (with her permission) or divorce if she has no desire, wants no help and expects you to be celibate.
It's not always clear cut, but often with income disparities the person making more money wants a lifestyle at their budget, forcing the person who makes less to spend beyond their means. If they don't end up married, the lower-income partner may feel the relationship damaged their finances. I personally make more than my partner (though not by as much as you do) and i pay proportionally a little more for living expenses, food, and entertainment, basically because I'm not willing to make cuts to my lifestyle in those areas. He probably couldn't/shouldn't spend as much of his money on those things as he would need to in order to meet my lifestyle standard and split the costs with me evenly. We're not married but we're committed to each other, i want him to do those things with me, so i am happy to spend more on them.
If you're living consistently within her budget and don't feel committed as a partner yet, i think it's fine to go 50-50 but you should make it clear where you stand. Basically her portion of the rent still shouldn't exceed a third of her income per general financial advice, but she may also have financial goals you should take into account and truly respect (don't push her to move into an apartment she can't afford, or split trips with you that are outside her budget). My view is, if you want to share a life with her and go 50-50, that means you should live at her budget.
The details of the lie don't matter.
He lied.
Obviously context is everything – I wouldn't have the same attitude if you'd found out that he ordered clams linguini instead of the fettuccini alfredo as claimed. Nor would I say that it's a dealbreaker to run into someone unexpectedly and not immediately call your partner and tell them.
This isn't any of that.
This is a huge lie. And “I was going to tell you” is such toddleresque, piteous bullshit, even more insulting than the lie itself.
No girl. No.
Total mistake. I was feeling insecure the other day and wanted to know if I could pull down a like or two. I know I’m stupid, but I’m sorry. How can I show you I’m committed to this relationship? It was a mistake.
You say that “and like most cisgender men, he’s not the best with consent”. I think that shows that your view on cisgender is twisted, probably because of your boyfriend. You should really look at other healthy relationships around you