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honeybear00, y.o.
Location: california
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Date: January 21, 2023
There are a lot of comments here which are giving really poor advice about his mental health so (as someone who works in mental health) I just wanted to add a comment. When a PTSD flashback episode takes place, the person can be transported back to a memory where they see and hear the memory as if it is happening at this very moment. This is not like you or I having a memory in our minds, it’s a trauma response in PTSD and feels, looks, sounds etc… as though it is happening right at that moment. It feels very real. And the person has zero control over it.
You are right he DEFINITELY needs therapy, but please don’t assume (based on the other comments) that he did this to you on purpose. Or wanted to degrade or hurt you. I imagine he is in a lot of emotional pain right now over the prospect of losing you due to the awful things that happened to him in the past.
Don't cross your own boundaries. If this means that he will cheat, it means he is a shitty boyfriend, and you deserve better.
sounds like you guys have different morals and values. not all immigrants are the same, not all families are the same. there are many cultures in which it is normal & expected to take care of the family, especially your parents as they did for you. he has the right to do this with his money. talk to him about it before you guys get married and allow him to make the decision of what he wants to do after, however i highly doubt you’ll be around for much longer after that. sounds like his family & culture take care of their blood first, and thats a good thing and you shouldn’t be looking down upon them
‘He says I should give him half my check so we can save money in his account.’
‘He doesn’t believe in getting married on paper.’
He says, he believes. He, he, he.
What about you? What do you say? What do you believe?
He already holds almost all the power in this relationship. Don’t give him the rest of it.
He wants to save for a house? Great! He can give you half HIS paycheck to put in YOUR account. If he refuses, and says no, why would I do that? Look at him and say exactly.
How he reacts to that is going to tell you everything you need to know about your relationship.
Don’t allow him to take this power away from you.
I would just give away anything that reminds u of him . Couse if it was an abusive relationship theres no point in keeping the bad reminders of spent time with him