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butterflynine6nine8, 24 y.o.
Location: florida, United States
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Date: January 19, 2023
That is true, but I also feel like if I don't search for it I'll always have the “what if” question in my head.
You should have not got back together after breaking up in the first place.
Basically she used your feelings for her and the promise of getting back together as a way to continue her open relationships.
You were and are just plan B, and she’s trying to find plan A.
So cut her from your life. Cut anyone who thinks she was right as well.
You let it go.
As a dude, I’ve been rejected enough I don’t take it personally.
When I reject people, they’re not to my taste in some regard I value. Doesn’t hurt my feelings when people decide that about me.
Honestly it saves me time that might have been wasted otherwise. No biggie.
The whole thing is odd to me. I work out 4 times a week in the mornings, and if someone starts to join me. I would have had the conversation with my spouse. Second, why would you be smelling her perfume? If I'm working out, perfume is not something I'm putting on my body. Do you smell it in other parts of the house? When you said you smelled the perfume in your bedroom, was your concern that she was in your room or that your spouse was cheating? Is there a history with your spouse?
That is highly plausible. Some kids do grow up to think similar to their parents. No clue honestly
Thank you for updating! I know it isn’t easy and am so happy for you. Hoping you find your tulips when you’re ready 🙂
Thank you. I guess I know this already. I was just hoping that things would change and I know there is no point in that deep down.
I can definitely find it selfish and gross that the first thing on his mind was telling my aunt. I can definitely find it gross and disrespectful that he repeatedly pressured me to tell them when he knew I had my own plan. He didn’t listen to me. He knew I was drugged and had just given birth. When someone repeatedly makes clear a boundary and is in a vulnerable state of having came out of surgery, drugged on anesthesia and painkillers and having just delivered a baby, … is immediately asking that same question not opportunistic and disrespectful to you? If someone says No fives times and while in a drugged state finally says yes is that yes acceptable to you???
I asked for advice not your judgement. I didn’t ask if I was fair in “blaming” him. I asked if I could continue cutting him off or if I should give him another chance. I asked about action, not petitioning moral judgement on who is right and wrong.
Okay. Take a deep breath because while these commenters are just angry that you are still with him, they are being a bit harsh. Sometimes it is very very difficult to leave. It takes a lot to finally let go. I think you should get into therapy potentially. I want you to know that you are not crazy. You also have every right to look through his likes and socials when he’s never shown you that he can be trusted. You also have every right to be upset over likes. It is clear disrespect. Even if it was just random girls he didn’t cheat on you with, it would still be disrespectful. I want you to start setting boundaries and start living for you. The secret to leaving is to start hyperfocusing on everything you hate about them. Maybe he has stinky breath or stinky feet or he’s balding. Maybe you hate something he does in bed or maybe he just completely sucks at it. HYPER FOCUS ON IT. And start looking elsewhere (i wouldn’t normally suggest this but the man already cheated on you multiple times so i don’t care.). And I don’t mean cheat, I just mean when your out and about look at the other guys. Think about what you could have. Maybe even do a little flirty flirt cause fuck him. Because you deserve better and it is out there. And don’t repeat the cycle. Look for the red flags and run first thing. Have high high standards. But first take a gap year from the relationships and find yourself.
I got a dog for the same reasons and lets just say I've been in situations where I've been forced to choose and my clear immediate response to any similar situation has always be goodbye. The dog is a part of you and your family. If he can't respect that or work to learn ways to deal with his OCD issues on the matter, then you should say goodbye. He knew you had the dog. I will never make that choice against my dog unless i have a child down the road who is deathly allergic and then i would seek to rehome within my own family.
That’s a bit blurry but I’ll take it. Thanks
yea, i just gotta make sure she still feels like she can be honest
Abso-fucking-lutely do NOT go to her house.
If I told someone I needed space and their response was to show up at my house in order to convince me to change my mind, I would be hella pissed.
What if the three of you and the kids all lived together. Could be a really good mixed poly family if you were all on board for that type of arrangement. Just a thought.
Okay. Years ago I was that girl at the gym. Find something that she knows more about than you. For instance. I’ve noticed that you have a really good routine for your …. Would you mind sharing exactly…. Or if she stretches. Bet you don’t as much if at all because it’s a man thing. You get where I’m going. You will know pretty quickly if she has any interest or a bf. As a woman working out, she absolutely knows that working bf into a conversation is the best way around unwanted attention. Make sense?
Because she doesn't respect you
Time to move on
Because she doesn't respect you
Time to move on
She isn't happy!
She just thinks that if she wants to keep him she needs to swallow the really unswallowable and tagg along.
I understand what you mean. That would drive me nuts like gahhh go play with your friends!! I have a whole separate house away from my gf and a lot of friends. Sometimes I’m like love ya and I’ll see ya in a week or two.
Arrrgh! Don't date people who treat you badly! Ten months in and she's treating you like this? Let alone how bad it will progressively get.
Your 18 and have much too learn buddy. You may have some feelings for her but hey ho life goes on and you are in prime years
You accused me of being jealous for absolutely no reason.
Your whole post (and the comments) is the reason. A very good reason.
Some people are honestly just not that compatible I think because of his age my question would be is he employed and is it possible that the reason he doesn’t want to do fun activities with you is because he’s broke lol? I’ve dated so many guys that were broke but they claimed they liked me but then same as you whenever I wanted to do some thing they didn’t have the money so they would constantly put me down and act like they were just interested when the reality was if they had the money they definitely would’ve come but they just didn’t so instead of admitting that to me they acted like an asshole.
Like you said yourself it would be some thing if it was a one time thing and he shot your idea down but for it to happen every time is ridiculous. I planned a surprise winetasting for me and my boyfriend we’ve been together for two years last month and he freaking loved it. At first he was like oh geez I don’t know if I want to drink tonight because the only day they had was a Monday lol but of course he came because I was extremely excited about it and I can’t imagine if he had told me no. Being spontaneous is not for everybody but if you are the type of person that likes that aspect of fun and different you’re not going to be happy with somebody who is a homebody who doesn’t want to try new things. There will always be the push and pull of you pushing him to go out and him trying to pull you in. I personally think you should call it quits if this is not just the first time and you already know this is how he is.
Every parenting book will tell you to let them feed themselves show this to him and then in a not so sudden manor let him know he is not to speak like that Or question you again