0 views
Monica, 18 y.o.
Location:
Room subject:
To Start on-line video press there
Live! Live Sex Chat rooms Monica
Date: December 31, 2022
AmateurPub
Just tell him you feel uncomfortable
So you need to tell Meg that until she gets help to deal with her past trauma and stops taking it out on you that you will be cutting her out of your life.
Her issues are not yours to fix, nor are they yours to address. And your mental and physical health will suffer if you don’t remove yourself from her issues.
Hello /u/icedcoffeeandwine,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Your jealousy ruined a comfortable household. Sure maybe he was hinting to his jealousy of his coworkers wife making him lunches. But he is an adult and you aren’t his mom. It would be nice for you to make nice lunches for him but it’s already a bonus if you made them for him anyway.
My suggestion is to sit with him apologize sincerely, tell him that it upset you that he praised his coworkers lunch because it made you feel like less of wife to him. Almost like he was dissing you even if it wasn’t intentional. Tell him that you put the diaper in his lunch to be petty because you couldn’t discuss your emotions and thought it would’ve been funny to YOU. Cause you knew damn well it isn’t funny to him. Clean diaper is better than shit diaper. But it’s still childish.
Lastly mention that you’d like the rift between you to end and that you hope with your apology you can both move forward on better terms. Tell him you miss his love and affection.
If it continues for weeks make it well known that therapy will be needed for both of you. Otherwise you will both have to take time apart to decide if the future together is worth it.
I wish my ex wife made me lunch and I’m sure she wishes I would have made her dinner. Sometimes people don’t do what they want the other to do and I feel like he should be grateful for your effort even in the slightest.
This new lady I am in the process of steadily dating is willing to do some of the things my ex wife wouldn’t and it’s appreciated and I’d never say “Oh but my ex wife did this better than you.” Even if it’s true. Simply because I know some things are better left unsaid. You live! and you learn. I hope this experience taught you something about your husband that maybe you weren’t aware of. Good or Bad it is knowledge gained.
Hello /u/anonziee,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
It is very normal to want to do romantic things in a romantic relationship. You could try planning date/gift that are cheap. Planning a little pic nic from thing you cooked (two fruit salads and mini sandwiches are cheap) and the parc is free. Draw her a cards (you don’t have to be a good artist). Make her a box with little love notes (one box and papers aren’t expensive). Im broke as hell but I try to find free exposition and activities (sight seing is free, a walk too). I handmad most of my gift. Google how to make flower paper, it will take a bit of time to acquire the origami skill but it is a good gift. If you say that you « don’t have time for that » well bad new: you shouldn’t be in a relationship if you never have time. And if you want her to also be romantic with you, that is your right, have a mature discussion about your need. Think about your ideal partner, do you want to have a romantic girlfriend? Or do you just want to shift the blame onto her? She is communicating with you about her need and you are 1) invalidating what she is saying 2) finding excuses and not solution 3) shifting the blame onto her (by saying that she doesn’t do it either)
I definitely feel I can understand where she’s at. Hear me out. When I was that age and super inexperienced, I wish I spoke up because I liked kissing and it did proceed beyond my comfort level with certain guys, but it was ‘in the moment’ and back then consent wasn’t talked about as much unless it was sex. I didn’t so I would typically just end things. She may be saying ‘ask before kissing’ because she is hesitant to go much further too quickly, before she’s comfortable. Which she will mature and figure that part out, but if you weren’t wanting to be moving that slow, it’s appropriate to bow out.
Don't be sorry its tough to hit up places like his and then watch strangers take a massive data dump in the form of replies to your problem. I really hope you and your wife figure things out though good luck.
If I were the one who set my friend up, I would want to know. Yes HE may consider you a vindictive ex but your abusers opinion doesn’t matter here. If he didn’t want people to disown him over how he treated you then he should’ve treated you better. He’s actually counting on you staying quiet.
You can even say “hey, I may sit this event out. I’m not willing to be in the same space as this ex because of x,y and z.” then go into as much or as little detail as you feel safe giving. “I don’t really want to be around someone who treated me that way” is an incredibly reasonable boundary.
Then the rest is up to her. Just be prepared that she may make light of the abuse/invalidate your feelings, you’ll have to do a lot of work to not let that affect your progress.
You sound confident that she would stop talking to him and tell others. That’s enough evidence that people SHOULD know and that he was wrong for how he treated you. Yes it can feel shameful but the alternative is to lie for someone who abused you and have to stomach being around him. I know which option I’d choose.
This is obviously someone who was raised to not not be allowed to voice her preferences. This is something that is hardwired. Childhood mapping is real and I'm sure that she's not even fully understanding what and how to do what you're asking.
Sometimes even good things fall apart. If he feels that being in your house is causing him additional distress then it sounds like he needs to leave. It’s hard, especially when you want to support someone through the tough times but are then told you’re contributing to the tough times. I’m sorry that you’re going through it
If you are uncomfortable with this, then you should speak up. She is having some sort of relationship with this man. It's OK not to like it.
Based on her confusion as to her ex-bf’s location, I’d say she’s a whole basket short of a picnic.
If my friend stole intimate photos from my partners phone, our friendship would instantly be over. I couldn’t be friends with someone who ever thought it was okay to violate someone’s privacy in that way.
Ok..did you do the stats on dudes passing with a raging hard on because of Trauma because that doesn't sound like a thing.
I'm so sorry OP, you didn't deserve this.
Tell her that you have thought more on her question, and the answer is, your business, so she needs to pack her shit and leave.
take a chill pill. but yes, he'll be taking advantage of her if he does it.
Accept it and move forward or dont.
If you couldn’t stop thinking about your ex why did you get into a new relationship?
You're not even married.
I have a cousin who let her kids have the father's name. After a few years he started treating her and the girls poorly. Let's say she leaves him – the kids would still have the guy's name even if she doesn't want to remember him.
I get it that you've already made a lot of commitment and would say that such a scenario would never happen in your case, but if you're not even married, she has all the right to make the kids keep her surname.
If you don't know, it's a no. :/
A man earning 2.4 million a year wants to live in a 3 grand a month flat in the UK?
He's either lying or stupid. He's in the top 0.01% of UK earners, and yet he wants to live! like joe average?
Come on, there's something no right here, he's taking you for a fool. He could retire next year if that were true.
You're either dating a fantasist or he is so pathological about money he won't ever let you in.
If you don't know, it's a no. :/
Nope. Absolutely not. And just so you know, she has no way of actually making you pay. Break up already and proceed to do better with your life.
You don’t need a gun involved to end up dead from a fight. All it takes is falling on the back of your head wrong and you might not be getting up.
And what would you have been doing while he was booking a hotel or looking for other options?
He's hiding you from his girlfriend or wife. Beware.
This is EXACTLY what I think. I know someone just like that. Babysitter or family member period! It’s his choice.
This is not an armchair diagnosis, since we will all interpret the situation based on our own experiences. But to me, if we assume your second point is what is happening here, her behaviour sounds like automatic mode/fight or flight/crisis mode. Whatever you want to call it.
I would guess the wife is in flight mode. It is the complete unwillingness to talk about her decision or her feelings, the collected “we will do this by the book and that's it, period”, the apparent calmness and kindness – paired with her “burn it down” comments such as “if you drag this out [through demanding separation before divorce] I will hate you forever”, and the sudden decision to move across the country to a family that is deeply religious when she herself left that religion years ago, that makes me suspect it. Because if there were no underlying issues in the relationship, her reaction is both disproportional and out of character for her (based on OPs comments).
I've seen it happen to myself and people around me many times, so that was my immediate thought. It obviously might be completely wrong, but I just thought I'd throw that possibility in the ring as an add-on to your second point.
This is just anecdotal but it’s amazing how many men I saw get more conservative after they got married. Same guys would rally around women not changing their names and raising daughters to smash the patriarchy, suddenly would make derisive comments just a few years down the road that would make their wives give pause or end relationships.
No need of validation? What you go on to describe is totally the opposite of this.