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Date: December 26, 2022
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You don't need to ask Reddit for permission to feel any certain way. It's clear that your bf doesn't really care about you or respect you I'm sorry.
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There was no ultimatum: he took of his ring, threw it away, and put off talking until Wednesday – four days later.
That man’s showing up with divorce paper’s pre-signed.
Go LC or even NC if possible, I'm sorry but your dad is an arsehole. Don't give him any of the attention he clearly craves. Call the police if anyone you don't know tries to gain access to your home.
I mean, did you both decide to end it, like both at that frame of mind of “yeah, this ain't working out”, or non-mutual i.e. one person thought things were ok and the other decided to end it. Because usually what i have seen is that people who seem to mutually break up seem to be better at staying friends rather than those upon which it was one-sided. So i don't mean whether it was naked in breaking up but rather whether both people wanted it or only one person.
This is unlikely to be solvable in the short term unless dad is open and willing to change his behavior/attitude which for most dads is a non-starter. I suggest you try to keep the BF polite and cordial and hope he grows on dad over the long run.
How far do you want to push this? How much does this hurt you? Is this the only thing in the relationship that hurts you or is this just one of many?
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There’s a lot going on here besides cleaning issues then. Sorry that’s the situation, the resentment would really get to me too.
The way you presented this, very few people are going to see this your way. You don’t come off well here.
It's over anyway man, stop thinking you can salvage this!
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I decided on Christmas day last year that I wanted to be engaged to my boyfriend by the end of the year, so I booked us a trip to Skye for his birthday, bought him a custom bracelet and proposed to him myself. He said yes, we are now engaged and waiting to have stable jobs and buy a house before we get married.
I don't understand the whole notion of women having to wait until their male partners propose, if you want to be engaged then there's no reason why you can't be the one to action that.
However it also sounds like your boyfriend may not want to get engaged, or at least is dragging his feet for some unclear reason so I think you need to be direct and just ask him why he hasn't proposed to you yet after you've been, in your eyes, clear that that's what you want.
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I tried “being optimistic” for 5 years and all i got was a very necessary break up much too late.
A 21 year old going after a 13 year old is always a bad person. No good person looks at a child that way.
Hey man, (or girl?) I’m not sure what you mean by forbidden. You can have a boyfriend or girlfriend.
If it was me, I would 100% tell them how I feel. Never on-line with regret of not doing something. Even if nothing ever comes of it, at least you spoke your heart and mind. Don’t be afraid. But also do not expect anything, and make sure she knows you don’t expect anything.
At worst, she leaves on her mission and you don’t hear from her. At best, she leaves on her mission, you write letters, and then date when she gets back.
Well shit I don’t know what else to do.
Even if you were a straight couple who only ever did missionary, that joke would’ve had the same effect.
You know you can be active on Facebook messenger without actually using it? If you check the facebook site out (generic facebook browsing), the messenger will be noted as on-line.
I suppose I do feel almost protective over my life. I’m a medical student and after being cheated on have not lost love for him but have struggled to get on with the relationship
I think you hit on a very astute point here. He still thinks of his parents as his Primary Family while you and your son are secondary, accessory, or even impediments. His brain hasn't adapted to the reality that you and your son are now his main family unit and first responsibility.
I’m a woman and 46. The word gymnastics is bs. He clearly doesn’t know how to communicate effectively. I would leave him alone. I wouldn’t date him either. That age gap is creepy.
If you feel physically intimidated and it’s not the first time don’t give an ultimatum “it stops, else I leave” just leave.
Don’t give an opportunity for the behaviour to escalate. Keep things simmering amicably until you have a plan and then go.
I’m not one to suggest leaving a marriage for any minor thing but you felt unsafe in that environment, and you’re still thinking about it now. Safety is absolutely paramount, especially with a young child.
I don't know about you but after I gave birth the first time I wondered if it would ever be the same again. ( I know it “snaps” back) but the thought was still there. The timing might not have been right, but it's a genuine concern.
This is awesome. Thank you so much.
What a horrible person you are.
You admitting that you have alienated your kids from their biological father. You are taunting his family that they hate him and that he should sign away his rights.
If that is what you are willing to publically brag about, I do not even want to know what you did to them to make them hate their bio-dad.
But be assured: It does not matter how hot you try, your now-husband will never be their real dad and you will always be a horrible mother and human
you chose the losing side. good luck!
Alternatively, we don't have any indication he doesn't want to. So, wtf?
Right?!
Also he posted five days ago complaining about her.
If he didn't consider it dating, it wouldn't bother him.
The mere fact it bothers him shown they have differing opinions on dating.
On the wild chance this isn't a troll post, your friend is a lot more mature than you are.
Oh cool someone asks reddit for advice and then argues with the advice he gets! Fun!
Tell her no. You will pay what is required/needed for your daughter but she no longer gets the financial gain she once got when you were together. She changed the terms of your relationship and that includes financially. She will need to work more to afford her single life.
Don’t do this, OP.
What he actually values is goodwill at work when he’s in a compromised position dating you already. This is the exact kind of drama employers want to avoid when they discourage colleagues dating. Let him handle his own work interactions. If you have an issue with a colleague yourself, handle it how you will. But your bf is the one being harassed. Don’t make his position worse for him needlessly.
If he was confident, then he wouldn’t identify as straight
We might need way more context to what you consider “real feelings”. Six months is a really long time for someone to like someone without making a move.
I think you may have been far more invested than she was
none of these are reasons to have a baby though
As an old lady with more than my fair share of dating experience, I can say with certainty there are only two reasons people behave like this.
Projection. He is cheating and believes you’re just like him, or more likely:
His unfounded jealousy will turn into certainty that you are cheating and he will convince you to stay with a closed fist to your face. And the longer you stay the more violent he’ll become.
we went to the movies and we were cuddling like normally then he put me on his lap and i was uncomfortable bc it was a public place and then i said i didnt wanna sit like that bc we were in a public place and he said that no one can see us. I was still really uncomfortable but i didnt push it bc i love him and i was like okay ig if he wants to. Then he hugged me and i hugged him back which also probably made him confused ig since i was basically giving mixed signals? I was still super uncomfortable and got really anxious then i just slid back to my personal space and he asked me if i was okay and i said ya i was fine. But i really wasnt i was just so nervous to tell him i didnt like that. And it reminded me of my past relationship where he was always pressured to do stuff i didnt want to do and never stopped when i said no. Weve talked about it before and he said he always wants me to feel safe and comfortable with him. hes never done anything where i didnt except with this the other day.
I think you're going to need to talk about it. Specifically and explicitly. “Babe, I was super uncomfortable when you pulled me onto your lap at the movies, I said no and you didn't seem to take me seriously, this was upsetting to me because I want to be able to say no and know that I can trust you to stop. I was afraid to say something in the moment but I was really uncomfortable.
i know if i tell him i felt like that with him hes going to feel so so bad and i dont want him to never hold my hand or kiss me or make it weird for us. Because i know if i tell him how i felt hes going to be extra cautious but in a way where he wont touch me at all and i dont want it to be like that.
Again, use your words. “I don't want you to take this like I don't want to hold hands or kiss, but I need you to listen to me when I say no.”
So, she's showing up at home while you're at work, without telling you?
Could be anything. She forgot something she needed. I wouldn't typically feel a need to inform my SO if I stopped by the house to quickly to pick up a package or something if she's not going to be there at the time. It's my fucking house, she's not my parole officer.
please leave your girlfriend this is absolutely abusive and selfish behavior and you’re enabling the abuse of this cat. either leave with the cat or give the cat to someone who cares more about it’s well-being and then you leave this lady. she has serious issues
I would love that! I’m in a very independent healthy relationship and we would do that for each other.
But if it was me in my younger days, I may try to self sabotage that because I didn’t really know what I wanted and would be scared of the stable, safe place he was offering.
that is so difficult to do – but the more you practice and act out these skills, the easier they will be to employ in the future, and the less anxiety you will feel. congratulations and i hope this makes you at ease in the future when sticking up for yourself with a boundary pusher.