It’s not a sin to not feel attracted to weight gain. If she refuses to do anything about it and you believe it’s altering how you look at her, then leave.
Id be gone to be honest. Its not your job to watch his daughter while he is at work.. Sure the odd time is cool and would be good bonding with her, but all of the time and hes not even there to help? He should change the schedule around to have the daughter when he is actually available. Im sure your life is much easier without him in it and your teenage kids probably arent big fans of the set up either.
I bet you that when she realizes that it's not the experience she wanted, she would tell you to take care of your kid because you know “your egg, your kid”
The simple answer is no, it is highly unlikely that you will be able to come back from this. When couples get to the point where they have lost respect for each other and only have feelings of contempt, they can rarely get back to having a loving and healthy relationship.
Questions for you:
Did you at one point have a happy and healthy relationship – or was it always something that was “just around the corner” but not quite there? Did you ever have good communication between you where you could problem solve together? Or were your problems just simpler or easier to avoid? Did your wife's personality shift suddenly at some point or just continue to gradually degrade? Other than having a child, is there anything particularly stressful going on in your life right now? Is there a family member that both of you respect that you could sit down with and talk through some things so that your wife doesn't just should “shut up” the whole time?
Honestly though, the fact that the channels of communication have completely shut down on both sides – with her saying only “shut up” and you refusing to talk to her – it sounds like this is a death knell in your marriage. If both of you aren't willing to work on the marriage, then it is pretty much over. And I imagine that things will be pretty tough on your son, more than anyone. If you are worried for the health and safety of your son, you might want to start involving your in-laws and/or your parents in this discussion sooner than later. You'll need some support and help.
I also hate to bring this up, but if she has only nasty things to say to you, she may have someone else that she is showing her nice side to.
but how many doomed relationships do we need to freaking learn from?
That depends how quickly we learn, and wthether or not we slip back into past problematic behaviours, or not.
It sounds like you both know this isn't a forever thing – and letting go of that is hard, but ultimately the right choice.
You've not found the right person yet, but hopefully you're learning more about red flags and about taking action as soon as you realise there's a deal-breaker, rather than ignoring it for as long as possible until it's unavoidable.
Not every relationship is forever, and that's okay, as long as we use the lessons for our future relationships.
Yes you describe a drunk person very well. Listen man. It's not okay if she in any way took advantage of him. No it's not his fault for being raped If that was the case. But it's his fault for getting so intoxicated that he loses control. There is no excuse for it. If this is what happens when you get too drunk, DONT GET TOO DRUNK. It cannot possibly be this hot to understand. I'm a loyal and reliable partner, therefor i dont get drunk to the point where a situation like this could happen. People here love the quote “alcohol is not an excuse to cheat”. If that is the quote that people stand by then OP had no excuse for what he did. The problem isn't even really what happened in the bed, the real issue is that op was irresponsible enough to put himself in a state/situation where he would end up in that bed
You've entered into a long term serious monogamous relationship with a 21year old. That's heavy. She's probably torn between her love for you and wanting to be free and experience young, untethered life to the fullest.
Hence, the choices she's made.
You may not know the full extent of her involvement in the incident for many years, maybe never. But regardless, it sounds as though she's just not ready to settle down.
Asl him to pay for half of it, he doesn't mind using the half then he shouldn't have issue on paying either
Hope he does if she do. I don't believe the really loves Rose.
It’s not a sin to not feel attracted to weight gain. If she refuses to do anything about it and you believe it’s altering how you look at her, then leave.
Id be gone to be honest. Its not your job to watch his daughter while he is at work.. Sure the odd time is cool and would be good bonding with her, but all of the time and hes not even there to help? He should change the schedule around to have the daughter when he is actually available. Im sure your life is much easier without him in it and your teenage kids probably arent big fans of the set up either.
I bet you that when she realizes that it's not the experience she wanted, she would tell you to take care of your kid because you know “your egg, your kid”
The simple answer is no, it is highly unlikely that you will be able to come back from this. When couples get to the point where they have lost respect for each other and only have feelings of contempt, they can rarely get back to having a loving and healthy relationship.
Questions for you:
Did you at one point have a happy and healthy relationship – or was it always something that was “just around the corner” but not quite there? Did you ever have good communication between you where you could problem solve together? Or were your problems just simpler or easier to avoid? Did your wife's personality shift suddenly at some point or just continue to gradually degrade? Other than having a child, is there anything particularly stressful going on in your life right now? Is there a family member that both of you respect that you could sit down with and talk through some things so that your wife doesn't just should “shut up” the whole time?
Honestly though, the fact that the channels of communication have completely shut down on both sides – with her saying only “shut up” and you refusing to talk to her – it sounds like this is a death knell in your marriage. If both of you aren't willing to work on the marriage, then it is pretty much over. And I imagine that things will be pretty tough on your son, more than anyone. If you are worried for the health and safety of your son, you might want to start involving your in-laws and/or your parents in this discussion sooner than later. You'll need some support and help.
I also hate to bring this up, but if she has only nasty things to say to you, she may have someone else that she is showing her nice side to.
Best of luck to you.
but how many doomed relationships do we need to freaking learn from?
That depends how quickly we learn, and wthether or not we slip back into past problematic behaviours, or not.
It sounds like you both know this isn't a forever thing – and letting go of that is hard, but ultimately the right choice.
You've not found the right person yet, but hopefully you're learning more about red flags and about taking action as soon as you realise there's a deal-breaker, rather than ignoring it for as long as possible until it's unavoidable.
Not every relationship is forever, and that's okay, as long as we use the lessons for our future relationships.
Dude you dont even know this man two years is nothing.
Yes you describe a drunk person very well. Listen man. It's not okay if she in any way took advantage of him. No it's not his fault for being raped If that was the case. But it's his fault for getting so intoxicated that he loses control. There is no excuse for it. If this is what happens when you get too drunk, DONT GET TOO DRUNK. It cannot possibly be this hot to understand. I'm a loyal and reliable partner, therefor i dont get drunk to the point where a situation like this could happen. People here love the quote “alcohol is not an excuse to cheat”. If that is the quote that people stand by then OP had no excuse for what he did. The problem isn't even really what happened in the bed, the real issue is that op was irresponsible enough to put himself in a state/situation where he would end up in that bed
You've entered into a long term serious monogamous relationship with a 21year old. That's heavy. She's probably torn between her love for you and wanting to be free and experience young, untethered life to the fullest.
Hence, the choices she's made.
You may not know the full extent of her involvement in the incident for many years, maybe never. But regardless, it sounds as though she's just not ready to settle down.