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Room for online sex video chat Cute-Alice
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Birth Date: 2000-02-10
Body Type: bodyTypeAthletic
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Date: December 16, 2022
You'd think a very good friend would do more. It sounds like she doesn't think she's at that level of friendship with you.
Everyone has different timelines.
It took my GF over a year to say it. Whereas I could have admitted it in the first month. But due to her requiring a slow pace, I never dumped it on her and rushed her.
Do what is right for you! He is going to show up and expect sex and affection. You don’t want that scene.
You said you’ll let her know when you’re free, that’s a slap in the face
Is it toxic because it didn’t end?
I just think it really doesn’t matter. If he lies about everything all the time or has a pattern of lying that’s one thing. If he just doesn’t want to divulge his past and personal life before he was in a relationship with you, I don’t really feel like it’s a big deal. He is not obligated to do that and the more you make it a big thing the less he will be willing to tell you. No one is 100% honest all of the time, sometimes people lie as a form of self preservation, or to preserve the feelings of someone else.
Dude. Absolutely not. Leave this relationship
Yikes, my heart truly goes out to you. I was in a situation super similar to this. It felt like he was only in it for sex and I started resenting him because I wanted to hang out with him and go on dates, etc. I tried communicating this to him but he would get so annoyed and still only want to bang me. At one point he was so sweet and funny in the relationship, it was like where did he go? Having gone through this recently, I actually ended things. Lost a lot like the house and one of the dogs, but I can honestly tell you it feels much better being alone than with someone who doesn’t value you. I’m not sure
I don’t even care what it is that’s caused this I rather know and know how to deal with it. But even showing her the phone bill and her late night text or early morning she says the phone bill is wrong
Sounds like your friends need to grow up.
Oh hell no, you don't get to feel uncomfortable that he found someone reliable and willing to help him in an emergency.
You dodged a bullet- imagine the shrew she must be to live! with.
I stayed in three relationships. Why? Because it was, “all great except for that,” and they were, “so sorry they did it,” and, “our kids need both of their parents.”
All three relationships were garbage. All three left me emotionally and financially devastated.
In hind sight it was a mixture of ego (sunk cost) and low self esteem, (I don't want to be single).
When I found the right woman for me afterwards, I realized I was so broken that I still, at 46 years old, regress to a much younger and unwise version of myself in an attempt to avoid a fight. It sucks and it takes a lot of work to emerge from that state that I created for myself in order to tolerate their abuse of my good faith.
Cheaters can stop cheating and those cheated on can learn to trust again, but that usually comes with the cost I described.
My hindsight suggestion for you is – dump him, stay single for a while, and tell him that if after one year of celibacy (both of you) that he wants to pursue a monogamous relationship with you, you'll agree to a first date.
I’ve been married for 27 years now and let me tell you what I learned from having a large traditional wedding: it ain’t worth it.
You’re spending thousands of dollars for a party. You’ve got beautiful photos and a video of the day. You’ve got family and friends and people who get stumble drunk (or worse). Depending on your fam and their drama, you can have a lot of fun but you can do all of that cheaper without going to the big, expensive wedding factories.
There are so many things you can use that money for, like a down payment on a house or a good honeymoon going somewhere you’ve always wanted to go. And frankly I’d be more inclined to cut back on the reception costs if I had to do it again.
Sometimes they just need a friendly ear to give them a kernel of hope.
Exactly.
I think it comes down to insecurities in men. And it’s just… such a loss. And does damage to relationships.
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Do you want to marry a man that didn't tell you that he has HIV until months later, gaslit you like it was your faulty for not wanting to have sex with someone with HIV and potentially AIDS', and then also blamed his doctor? He's manipulating you and he's been dishonest from the start. I guarantee you that his doctor did NOT say that he doesn't have to tell sexual partners anymore. Do NOT marry this man.
I'm a little concerned the way you describe yourself as a “bad husband”. It doesn't sound like you were “bad”, just that you hadn't known that she had wanted to spend more time with you. It sounds like you are being too nude on yourself, and you feel so guilty, and now you spend all your free time with her to make up for it.
That's too much.
You didn't do anything evil. You don't have to drastically go in the other direction. Maybe you spend half that time with her. You weren't doing that much before.
Anyway, stop asking if you're a bad husband because you're not. You're trying and thinking about her and writing here for advice.
Explain to her that you love spending time with her, but you also want to have a life outside of the house with your other friends sometimes. You also think it would be a good idea for her to make new friends as well. Maybe you two can go out to events and meet new people.
I think if the perspectives were switched you’d see the “dump them” comments. If OPs partner posted about being hit by their inebriated partner it would garner that type of reaction. Because OP is the person that hit their partner, people are reacting to this given that perspective. It also doesn’t say the gender of OP in the post. This could be two males.
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He's probably hoping your emotional confusion will allow him to manipulate you into one last booty call before he leaves (if he even is leaving and not just using that as an excuse to get your attention).
If you go meet up with him it's going to seem like it's because you aren't over him and he has control over you still. It doesn't really sound like you want to meet up with him, but like you feel like you have to if he wants it enough.
It sounds like you're a people pleaser have a nude time saying no. Choose what is best for you this one time. Why should you care if your ex is happy with your decision or not? If he is a point of so much stress for you, getting sucked in even if it'd to confront him will only increase your anxiety. You won't get closure by opening up old wounds, you'll get closure by slamming the door on this guy and looking forward to making yourself happy. It doesn't even have to be about your new boyfriend. It just has to be about you choosing not to be with someone who makes you feel like less than you are worth.
Dentists recommend twice a day, so people usually default to morning and evening.
Technically you can get away with just one, but as my dentist put it “most peoples technique isn't good enough for that”
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Wait, dean? I just don’t see it. Anyway, isn’t the celebrity freebie list still a thing?
U fell into the “let me cheat its ok” bullshit.
I see your point of view and I also see his point of view…
“encouraged me to express my feelings about anything. But the moment I did do that he manipulated it to make it seem like I was going against him (when I really wasn't)” – yes you did because that's how he felt!
It's hard to answer your question because in that little time there was no sex, you were expressing insecure feelings that made him feel attacked so he had decided to break up!
You felt that he wasn't giving you enough of his time, he was pushing you away, his texting behaviors changed, you didn't believe that he's busy.. even if his intentions were to spend his life with you, the things you felt were probably enough to break up with you! Imagine in a year or two how demanding you'll be and how he'll need to justify every second of his free time because you feel insecure.
Like I said, I understand where you are coming from, 3 months rule, saying how you feel… But expecting someone to stay in a relationship with you is unreasonable! Sure there are guys that will stay but majority will not…
You need to heal from your trauma and start to trust people again! Sure there are bad people in the world but not everyone is bad.
Next time, keep your feelings for you in the first 3 months.. don't try to express so that other person doesn't feel attacked, find you too needy and demanding. Trust the process, trust yourself!
Funny how these conditions were only revealed when it was way more difficult for her to extricate herself from him, and they give him a pass to be a useless bum. I hope she doesn’t waste too much of her life supporting this lying parasite.
Yeah it's just a ripoff of the “globin mode” story, people can't even be original with their shitposts
My first thought, like many people, was maybe he’s gay. Once he started panicking, though, I thought maybe he has issues, a past of SA? Especially when reading what kind of porn he’s into. It’s definitely not normal. He should get help, but first he has to have an honest conversation with you and stop acting like nothing is wrong with him.
You can show your girlfriend (ex) this post..but the truth is she will always wonder if she is your second pick, and that isn’t fair. She will always question if you had someone else in your head when you were claiming to love her, because..well, you did.
I don’t think I could get past that; but maybe your girlfriend can in time if you would be willing to cut all contact with this past love-no talking again at all..somehow I doubt you’d be willing to do that though:/
There’s nothing to do honestly. Just move on.
Yeah I thought the same – “wtf is a furry” lol
And her response was “I don't want you to go” but her reaction was normal when she said that it didn't look serious. If it was a clear no then i wouldn't have gone.
You are kidding right.
She said no, you went and now your surprised she is pissed????
That's tv sitcom territory.
Send her apology flowers, handwritten note.
Yes your wrong. You know how your gf feels and went behind her back.
He talks about the future, where we are going to live! down the line, but whenever he brings the future up I get really anxious,
Hun, that is your gut telling you something. By the sounds of it, your gut is telling you it's time to move on.
Always trust your gut.
OK, ask your friends if you can crash for a little while. See if you can find a couch, or a spare bedroom or see if somebody is looking for a roommate. The idea is try to find a place right now, so if you feel like you need to leave now do you have your chat with him, you can.
Next, sit down with him as an adult, tell him you care for him, but say the exact same things you said here. You never had an opportunity to live! on your own, you may be want to make a decision without having to consult somebody else, or maybe go out with a friend, without worrying about him being home waiting for you. Also tell him that you’re not ready for to progress the relationship into something more serious. You want it to be something less serious right now so if you can just be a 20-something year old.
This is tough. I’m not a “crier” so I would be weirded out/annoyed too. I’m not saying it’s right but crying over everything just seems “victimy” to me!! That said- I know my outlook is different and biased and likely heavily influenced by my childhood where we were not allowed to cry or if we did told to stop. I can’t help it though so maybe your husband cannot help it. Maybe you guys should go to therapy together so you can find a way to communicate that doesn’t feel like one side is constantly using the crying card….
Why does OP's mom need therapy?
She lost the weight, she is under medical care by professionals and, more importantly, she is already doing therapy.
I would say the wife is the only one needing help here.
I think you have your answer. If you aren’t comfortable sharing rooms, either pay for a separate room yourself or do the daytime event thing offered. That’s it. Don’t force something you don’t enthusiastically want.
I don't think anything that's said will make you feel better about this. Just cut them off.
Honestly? The realization that while i cared a lot about my (ex)boyfriend I preferred when he wasn’t home was the beginning of the end of that relationship. Something doesn’t have to be terribly wrong for him to not be right for you (although why the fuck does he think his clothes are more important than yours?)
While she’s been studying abroad, she’s been going for drinks here and there and she always updates me through the night and let’s me know she’s okay and I feel that because I didn’t do the same, I violated her trust in me.
The relationship…
They said opposite effect!
Either marry her already or find someone else who better fits your relationship ideals.
Yet another age gap post.
Just continue as you are for now. Do not worry what you call it. You need to build up trust by working ling time and showing that you have truly changed
She's a great mother, emotionally supportive, especially with my sleep, and anxiety issues due to PTSD from my time in Afghanistan and Iraq.
How much do you help or reciprocate or show appreciation for the emotional support she gives you? When someone emotionally supports another person and it’s too lopsided, it turns into a parent/child or teacher/student type dynamic and that often KILLS libido. Might be time to consider couples counseling.
Additionally, have you talked to her about this? It also could be just a matter of low sex drive which can be due to medication (like birth control, or anxiety meds), relationship problems, poor sleep, poor nutrition, various health conditions or mental heath issues. So if she’s game, consider encouraging her to do a doc check up to rule out common physical/mental health causes (like depression, anemia, thyroid issues) maybe switch to a different birth control med (if applicable), check for issues with other medication, improve diet and exercise, try a multi vitamin for a month to see if it helps, and consider a couples or sex therapist. You can also check out the subreddits of r/sex and r/deadbedrooms to look for other suggestions/ideas.
Jesus what a massive leap
I was you and i didnt chose the h0mewrecker. Never ever. I dont even talk to her, even though i talk to my father and my little brother (their kid) from time to time.
Agreed. My ex-husband was abusive, cheated, alcoholic. I got out and my daughter still loved her dad. I've done my own therapy and view the relationship my daughter has with her dad as theirs, not ours. I have had to heal from my hurt and trauma but I don't expect my daughter to view him the same way as she never experienced what I went through.
One of the best things I learned in parenting class was “stay in your box”. I can only control myself and work to build a solid relationship with my daughter and building a stable foundation for her. Everything else is not in my control.
OP's mother is hurting her child with this decision and needs therapy to move past the betrayal.
If you want OP to see your advice, better to reply as a top level comment or to one of OPs comments, that way it gets in OPs inbox.
That's fair, I can understand growing apart and not wanting his attitude around you. I would suspect your group of friends probably also don't have a lot of patience with him. Sometimes it's best to part ways and move on.
Frankly your partner should be using condoms or getting a vasectomy if he doesn't want a child. His lack of protection is just plain irresponsible.
Lawyer up ASAP. Your mom is shady as F. She ain't giving a damn about you, she is looking for her own interests. She ain't trustworthy, already lied and used you all. She will destroy your future!
Sure wish you luck.
Semper Fi
Does he have a brother who is of the right age?
Well then I would chalk it up to a coincidence
he got on board?
he doesn’t even want to move in with her.
I agree. No one is ever obligated to have to stay with someone if they are incompatible or… for whatever reason.
Get him to pay you back. THEN break up with him. Never pay his rent again.
Goodluck with this type of behavior down the road. He will never stop. They literally have to stop being his friend, even the way you describe him as he is the type to just do what he wants regardless Lol no people awareness skills or just don’t care. ?♀️
Spot on. I think he would benefit from it so much! I take lexapro for anxiety and while that works for me, he’s not into the idea of being medicated, which is fine. But I think he needs to talk to out with someone who isn’t me. I can only hear it so many times before I roll my eyes in his face lol
Agree, but it’s easy to believe in something until it affects you personally ?
Agree, but it’s easy to believe in something until it affects you personally ?
Agree, but it’s easy to believe in something until it affects you personally ?
Ooof…
That’s… not good.
First of all, how long does it take to call your fiancé? I’m thinking that a reasonable amount of time to spend on the phone with the person you’ve decided you want to marry, if you’ve not had in-person contact with them for weeks is like an hour or less, especially if you’ve been in regular contact. If she’s been in regular daily contact with you up to this point and then abruptly ended that , and doesn’t want to talk to you on a day off, then what’s up with that?
Second, turning things on you when you feel like something is off is very manipulative. It’s fine to tell your partner that nothings wrong and maybe if they’re doing that all the time that they need to chill, but to get “very upset” and turn it around on you sounds like a deliberate tactic.
And, palpable irony. This commenter told you to pump the brakes on thinking she’s cheating, and then you describe two situations when taken in the whole context could very well be red flags.
Bullshit. He turned his phone off tracking and didn’t talk to you, That shot is pre planned.
Following a stripper on IG “Probable” got a lap dance….
Right………
So many red flags you could make a California king doona cover.
Is he in therapy?
So a guy who can't get nude would be classed as withholding sex?
You’re in an abusive relationship. So…get out of it. Talk to a therapist and an attorney and make a plan to get out.
Someone not liking sex isn't “broken”.
In your shoes, I would speak with your therapist about it. They will have a sense of the local police apathy and how helpful or not it will be to file it at this point. They’l also know how your own issues will hold up to dealing with police.
i’m curious how the counseling is going
So funny reading this comment because I just said good night to my girlfriend an hour ago. The last thing we talked about was how much fun we had on Saturday night during a threesome.
I would say the very first threesome we ever had was one of the best experiences in our relationship! I’ll spare you the reasons why, but rest assured, it was an amazing, positive experience for everyone involved.
Threesomes, like anything, involving sex, had NO INTRINSIC VALUE at all! None. It’s not good. It’s not bad. It’s not worth anything other than the value you assign to it. YOU might not think that threesomes are a good idea in a relationship. For your relationship, you might be 100% right!
Just because I’ve had amazing experiences in that department in my relationship does NOT mean that I recommend it for everybody lol. I recommend it for ME, my partner, and that’s about it.
Block him, speak to the police, get a restraining order
Has she been in contact with this ex after you became exclusive?
The explanation is that he’s crappy and deceitful and secretive. He’s not going to say magic words that make this hurt less or make you understand why.
He’s not a good person and not who you thought. He’s okay with betraying you.
Exactly. Honestly, she should leave him and not look back. Which it seems like she's thinking about anyway.
I assume you were much happier out of a relationship like that? I could never be with someone that insecure, controlling and jealous. It would be hell to me.
Maybe this guy has a series of complete and total accidents that require you to drive him to emergency room, capiche?
She's lying bro. Red fucking flag. Dump her. She's a narcissist and a sociopath.
/s
But seriously, that's troubling. At best, your wife is a complete idiot who's way too comfortable around other men. At worst, she's cheating. Seems like a lose/lose marriage lol
I'm thinking about it. I was not sure if telling me that he is «afraid that if I do not get past this sadness/anger, I might start punishing him» was a little bit odd, specially when the problem is that I have not expressed any rage or anything, merely sadness at the insecurities I have developed. Many, many things have happened that were worst than the cheating per se and I just want to recover from that and maybe that will allow us to enjoy the relationship. I just seem unable to fit who he was for 9 months and who he is now… Thank you for your reply 🙂
She did own it. She has not tried to downplay that it was cheating whatsoever. She is too smart for me to even waste energy trying to catch her. With Snapchat and what not it's almost impossible to get anything more than suspicions so I don't find it necessary to monitor everything she does. I just need to be convinced that something has fundamentally changed in the way she will respond to us having problems from here on out.
Nah.
My wife takes her clothes off in front of another guy who isn't a doctor? I'm getting a new wife
Did you guys really not talk about kids seriously before getting engaged?
I mean…yes, people change their mind and all either way but this is a pretty major topic.
And like another poster said, it’s kind of ?that your reaction to her honesty was to get up and leave.
Kids just aren’t something you can compromise on. And coercing someone into having kids isn’t cool.
I think some men (not saying you per se) like the idea of having kids but don’t put much thought into it. They’re interested in the fun parts like tossing a ball in the back yard or being a coach. But they’re not thinking about the day to day and the impacts to life overall.
Meanwhile as women, we are thinking about what pregnancy and childbirth does to our bodies, what the risks are, how our lifetime earning potential goes down, how we may end up being the primary parent and what that looks like, and so forth.
You two need to have a serious sit down. If you want kids and she doesn’t, end things. Don’t give her an ultimatum that it’s kids or wedding is off. I know far too many people who had kids they didn’t want. They’re good parents but they were so resentful and all are divorced now.
He’s not a mechanics and neither is the car person selling. The person selling has no idea therefore he will take off the parts himself.
I don’t know, if he drove there early? 7am>10/11am take off the car parts it’s 5, get home for 8/9? I don’t see why he has to stay at hers ?
He’s not a mechanics and neither is the car person selling. The person selling has no idea therefore he will take off the parts himself.
I don’t know, if he drove there early? 7am>10/11am take off the car parts it’s 5, get home for 8/9? I don’t see why he has to stay at hers ?
My guy it is not fucking normal to have tears pouring out of your eyes because you found out someone you’ve been dating for a little while is not a virgin. It is not normal to cut someone out of your life who has been your family member and you have known forever because they are having a child in a way that you do not want to do for yourself or would not value for yourself. This person clearly view sex is bad and dirty and shameful. And no that’s not a Sumption that’s just reading comprehension. Have whatever the fuck values you want but crying and flipping out and cutting people off When they don’t conform Exactly to what you want Is fucking insane.
It's not from anywhere. From what I have been able to search cheating is fairly equal between men and women, women just get caught less. OP just needed to sound authoritative.