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Date: December 7, 2022
His roommate told her he couldn't get with her because she was too pretty for him?
Mate. Mate. That's the worst lie I've ever heard.
“Oh no, I couldn't possibly have sex with you; you're too gorgeous for that lind of thing. I'd enjoy it far too much.”
Come on mate.
Beloved, I’m so sorry but he is not going to propose. He does not want to marry you. Even if he had not made it very clear with his words that he doesn’t want to get married (and it looks like he has made it clear), he has made it obvious simply in that he hasn’t proposed to you in the very long time you’ve been together. Believe me, if he wanted to get married, he would move heaven and earth to make you his wife. He knows what you want and he’s assuming that you’ll eventually get over it. If you want to be married, dump this guy (just get an attorney to help with the house stuff, it won’t be that bad) and find a man out there that wants what you want. Stop waiting for him to make your dreams come true – get in the drivers seat.
Agreed. And there's a way for OP to speak her truth about her experiences with the father of her children without resorting to screenshots or needlessly embarrassing him.
Did you ask them why they refuse welcoming her in the family? Clear answers that you could discuss with your girlfriend ?
It is the catch-22 we call life, sometimes there are no winning solutions. In life there are compromises, and heartbreaks. Unfortunately it is like this sometimes. There are no winners here.
Perfect. Be sure to yell his mum what he has been up to.
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I would be petty and take a screenshot. Post it on sm. Tag her.
Is it bad that my biggest question about this post is what a professors cabin is? In academia and have never heard that phrase before!
She told me she’s planning on getting me multiple gifts over time, so that’s really sweet.
Sorry this is not sweet. This is a cop out. If she's someone who likes receiving presents, and I can tell from her “list” she likes the more expensive stuff, she should know how to give it too. While she admitted it would make her feel bad, I don't see where she is really trying to make up for what she did. So some questions…
Do you believe her? Do you want several “cheap” gifts over time when you're buying her $300 Shoes and $200 Speakers at one go (while making less than her?) iPads are not cheap. How does she justify asking for that while expecting to buy you several cheap gifts over time? Does this feel like a healthy dynamic in a relationship to you? And most importantly – will you be happy always giving much more than you receive in your relationship?
A little out of the box but you could participate. If you see her turning away, rub her shoulders, and give a massage, work to touch her erotically while she is typing.
You moved in together after dating for only six months.
Well, you already know the answer
How many serious relationships have you been in before this one? Please don't tell us it's your first. If so, it's time to move on to the next relationship/learning experience
That means it's not the right person
This is very simple OP.
You “I am going to the festival. I'd love you to come”
Him “I don't want to”
You “Ok, I'm still going though”
Him “I don't want you to go alone”
You “Neither do I particularly, but you don't want to come, so what choice do I have”
The end.
He can't have it both ways. He either goes with you or he accepts that you're going alone.
It's really not that weird.
It’s not so much that he doesn’t care, he normally says something along the lines of “she should be grateful”. The people we adopted her from locked outside in the cold and never walked her, so his thinking is that the most important thing we are doing for her is giving her a warm place to sleep.
Yeah I totally get you. To be honest, I'm also a huge pet lover so someone who didn't care about them as much as I did would be a deal breaker too…
Let me tell you it won’t get better until you put your foot down. He’s going to be better for two weeks and then become the same person again. Things like this is a nude engrained habit and it’s going to take him months to years to do anything to your standard so unless you want to wait that long and actually be ruthless it’s best to force him to learn to live on his own.
You can’t possibly say this little and expect useful advice from the internet
I just found out she was pregnant for two months and had a miscarriage recently
How did you find out? Why didn’t you realize she was pregnant for 2 months or that she had a miscarriage? Have you been living separately? Because those things are naked to hide
told me she never planned on telling me
Why is that? Is she a crazy person you’re married to (if so why?)? Did you do something that’s making her not trust you and someone else like a neighbour?
I feel like I should’ve been the first one to know
I fully agree, just that you didn’t tell us why she decided not to
we already have some trust issues and this event didn’t help
What are those issues?
The lifestyle your parents chose has nothing to do with him and his family. Sit down with him and explain your views on money. You’re ok helping his mother with living expenses but nothing more. Then realize that he will make his own choice about finances and you have to decide if you can live with it or not.
He's the problem – he is lazy and useless and doesn't respect you at all.
You write that you go to therapy but maybe you should seek a therapist specialized for victims of abuse.You were 20 and he was 31. Did you were even younger when you met and this were just the sge of marriage? He treated you awful. But still you feel as if you blindsided him, as ifyou did something back? But you were barely an adult, you were nearly groomed. He searched someone so young because they are easier to controlled, manipulated.
You need to learn that you did nothing wrong. That you deserve a second chance, a fresh start.
Maybe there are groups for victims of abuse. I think the women shelter or a hotline could help you. To share with other people in your situation could help you.
I wish you the best. Stay strong. ❤️