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❤ Mary ❤, 99 y.o.
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Date: November 28, 2022
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Will your fiancée leave you? Is grass green? Is the North Pole cold? Stop it lol. If you wouldn’t want it done to you then don’t do it to others
Don't save her, she doesn't wanna be saved. J. Cole No Role Modelz
People are getting upset at anyone who suggests they work it out. Many here believe she is an “Amber Heard” type who is secretly a psychopath.
I’m not getting that from the wife but that’s all we can do is take the OP at his word. I try to read between his words, get the tone, and also the general message given over all when giving advice on here.
But for some reason this one in particular has fed into the “women don’t treat men good” and we “dismiss physical violence on men but not women.”
That aint your girl bro
a month? losing a parent young bring a life time of misery.
Cheaters don’t feel sorry for their partner, they feel sorry for the consequences they receive. Cheaters are fundamentally selfish people who couldn’t care less about their partners until they have something to lose.
They picked up on little things she did/didn’t do and would tell me after she left. It hasn’t been a very welcoming environment for her
Red flags all over, he should show you some respect and not attend this… I actually think he should find a new job if his marriage is important to him
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I agree as they know a child is a huge commitment on both parties. I couldn’t imagine having this conflict! The cost of raising a child is bananas! But honestly the worst would be starting from square one…again, after having already done it!
There’s still so much grey area in the ask of opening your marriage though
You mentioned he pushed back initially and he says he’s naturally monogamous
Do you honestly believe he agreed to open up the relationship because he wanted to or do you think he just loved you and wanted to make sure you were happy?
I would assume you had an easier time finding other partners, did you notice him start pulling away or acting differently?
There’s still so much grey area in the ask of opening your marriage though
You mentioned he pushed back initially and he says he’s naturally monogamous
Do you honestly believe he agreed to open up the relationship because he wanted to or do you think he just loved you and wanted to make sure you were happy?
I would assume you had an easier time finding other partners, did you notice him start pulling away or acting differently?
You should've had the foreplay convo long before this.
I don’t really like sex.
I’ll bet your boyfriend is a terrible, selfish lover and that’s a large part of why you don’t like sex.
The right person for you wouldn't react like that. And you'll find them in the future. This guy ain't it.
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It's okay to not want him to look at other hard women.
You need to sit him down and tell him you know it's still happening and it is something you are not okay with and tell him you are setting the boundary of no porn/NSFW images.
If you're comfortable with it, ask him if you can send him dirty pictures instead. I do that for my husband and he loves it.
If he continues to have problems he could have an addictive personality and have a nude time quitting something that gives you such a big dopamine release. Y'all might benefit from looking into some articles on fighting porn addiction.
I don’t think it’s a big deal especially because both of those photos are a part of multiple pictures where it’s just in one of the slides. Besides, both posts are about events such as her prom and some party. It’s possible that she wants those posts up just as a memory and her ex just happens to be in one of them. It really does not sound like a big deal and even though you both seem interested in each other, it hasn’t escalated into a relationship yet and I feel like expecting her to take down those photos may be a bit too soon. I think you should trust what she says.
Didn't read it all either, just skimmed. He cheated. He's then gaslighting and blame-shifting. Find someone better. Yes, it is that simple, at least conceptually.
watch the boys from 3:30pm when she gets home til like 6:30pm
Does your wife have to cook dinner for all the adults in that window? And pump a couple times? Three hours sounds like a lot, but if she's depressed two big chores in that window is kind of a lot to accomplish.
I was in a relationship just like you described. My ex also pestered my family and friends after I broke up with him, and begged for a way back in. Don't be like me and give him a second chance. Not only will he not change, but the relationship with your friends and family will take a hit. Sure, the first few weeks will be bliss but then it'll get worse than it was because now he'll resent you for trying to get out and double down on trying to keep you in the relationship. The micro insults, the blaming, the gaslighting will get worse because its the only way he knows how to keep you in the relationship. I promise you there are people out there who you wont have to explain to that you don't like being insulted. I promise you no matter how many times or how well you'll explain your feelings, he won't understand you. Because if he had truly understood he would've stopped the moment you got quiet or detached from the conversation. If he had truly understood he wouldn't have even talked to you in that way. It's hard. And I still get anxiety every time I hear someone at my door, but I promise you you can only go up from here. I'm in a relationship where I'm truly learning about my needs because my partner makes it safe for me to do so. He has never disrespected me. I don't have those all consuming doubts or anxiety about my relationship. It'll surprise you how much you'll like yourself if you don't have someone who brings you down every day.
Females have to worry about pregnancy more than men. ?♀️ “potential consequences” nobody is ever ready for lol even the ones that are…y’all ain’t compatible anyways though.
Well if this isn't the textbook definition of a toxic relationship then I don't know what is. Your kid is gonna be traumatised if you keep it up.
I'm going to be honest, i couldn't read this entire post. Dude you two are just in completely different stages of your life. She seems like a very young 21, who enjoys partying with her friends and being spontaneous, and you seem out of college and someone that priortizes plans and communication. Neither is a bad mindset but just different.
She has a huge work load of school and a devoted sport, two things that initially attracted her to you, but when there was real life complications involved with those things, you judged her as a partner that wasn't trying, instead of helping support her. That seems to be a running theme in this post, every time you complain about her being a bad partner and not putting in effort, we're not seeing you put in the same work. So I don't think breaking up is a bad idea, you two just seem in far different mindsets right now.
Stop letting him mentally abuse you!!
Tell him to get all the girls that want him and block!!
Yeah, you're the mistress, darling.
Hire a PI and get all the evidence. Share it everywhere (once you've changed the locks and your number).
Talk to a lawyer. They'll lay out your options for you.
Condoms or no sex, seems simple.
Yeah, dump him.
He's never going to get better.
How do you know she is not stupid?
It is a divorce territory becase OP mentioned, a couple of times if I might add, how his coworker is his prefered type. Meaning… OP is not. Why did they get married then? So she can be a “good wife” whilst he has his affairs?
To all of those annoying reddit keyboard warriors who are shitting on the husband says the husband should have worn a condom blah blah blah.
OP literally said in her post that “My husband said he was only willing to do it unprotected if we were in agreement about abortion”
This means the husband WAS wearing protection, and she agreed about abortion so he trusted her in it enough to then stop using protection. I don’t even read anywhere where the husband had any issue with using protection.
So if they didn’t discuss anything about abortion he would still be using condoms.
You also have ABSOLUTELY ZERO FUCKING CLUE, on what discussion took place about the abortion. Stop pinning it like the husband pushed it onto OP and forced her into it. You don’t know that
A kiss, she didn't ask for – forced her to kiss him? She didn't resist out of a fear response?
Personally I wouldn't be mad at her if that's her only mistake. If you get attacked you are going to fight or flight – and it sounds like she went into flight mode where she locked into place.
If you can see that in her response? and she's got no other red flags? then get therapy for yourself and her and take some self defense classes with her so she can learn what to do in that situation. Talk to her about whether or not she was assaulted and, if so, going to the police, campus security, etc to take the appropriate steps.
Obviously you're not at fault… but I don't think she is either – if she's being honest and remorseful for something she didn't do. You don't have to forgive her. You're allowed to feel what you feel but there's a real chance she's a victim and 100% not at fault for this. You don't have to forgive her and don't think you have too. you can break up with her if you feel you need to but you'll be stronger if you can find it within yourself to go through this together with her, IMO.
Sounds like she’s been checked out for a LONG time. I know what she told you- but it sounds like (from her cheating) she isnt invested in your relationship anymore. And if she is, it’s probably because of the guilt. If she was invested, she would have told you every indiscretion, you’d be fully aware of where she was at emotionally and where she wants to be in the future. But you’re unaware… and she’s happy to keep it that way….
Also he works at an oil change place so it’s only men that work there but that doesn’t mean he didn’t meet a customer ☹️
Thanks alot, you right.
If you don't remember him super well, how is he recognizing wifey? It could just be someone that looks like her.
True i tried my best but he does not seem interested in sex, i just can't understand why, I am not that bad looking, get lots of compliments tbh, maybe he has an affair in the office ?
It's actually not abnormal. 52% of men have experienced ED, and yes that includes younger men. It can happen because of low testosterone, stress or anxiety, high blood sugar from diabetes, & multitudes of other reasons. Luckily, its a very treatable issue and I would suggest going to the doctor sooner than later so that he can get it all sorted out.
This is all sorts of stupid.
Get an abortion
You did the right thing. Her reaction to this whole situation is proof enough that this relationship was not meant to last
It's battery actually, threatening somebody with physical harm can lead to charges of assault, and both of those things have been true for a very long time. Your usage of the phrase “todays Covid culture” leads me to believe you're going to use this information to go pop a Viagra and masturbate especially ferociously into a Confederate flag whilst listening to old General Patton speeches. Y'know. Back when “we weren't all such pussies.”
Don't do this to yourself. It's exhausting and whether she buys nice stuff or not, it won't be worth it. You'll be paying the therapy bills.
Break off everything with her.
You aren’t interested. You are only concerned that you may find no one.
Get serious about searching for someone. Are you dating other people? Even first dates?
Find someone you want to be with. You will know it when you meet them. It won’t be a game.
I need about tree fiddy.
Your fiancée killed your relationship in front of you, you overreacted and said something mean, and now you're in the bargaining stage of grieving the death of your relationship. All your hurtful words did was make the death uglier than it could've been, it was already dead.
You don't just “lol oh btw nevermind on kids” with someone you had discussed it with and planned it with. It's like saying, “oh btw I want to be poly and I know the guy already” level shit.
You gave her an out to tell everyone how mean and abusive you are, but it doesn't matter. This was over anyway.
She doesn't want kids. You do.
Do not try to save this by pretending you don't. You have no idea what the next 50 years is like; you can romanticize that away in your head now, especially in your emotional panic, but you don't actually want 50+ years of holding hands in a field with her alone.
I’m wondering if I should tell our mom. My sister lied and told her those where grocery and apartment stuff my mom can only see the monthly amount on our cards she trusts us to not check each purchase.
Our parents are getting older and working two jobs to keep us in college and my sister is making secret extravagant purchases on the credit card they gave like purchasing expensive weight loss equipments and powders without working out while buying doordash daily. She spends thousands of dollars on these type of stuff monthly and it’s putting both my college and my mom’s health in danger.
It’s hot on my mom who had cancer and isn’t suppose to strain herself because health issues could worsen and kill her. If I tell my mom I know she would sit my sister down for a talk and start placing limits. I know it’s between her and my parents but I really think it would be better for the both of them.
I disagree that I'm incredibly shallow. I just have preferences, like anyone. And we are sexually incompatible.
I agree that there is nothing wrong with her body.
I disagree that I am the problem. Sometimes there is not a bad guy and a good guy. Sometimes people are not made for each other.
Finally, some or many women who are not pornstars have the labia inside. Your information is incorrect.
Or put wheels on the furnature lol
Do not act on it. Let her process it without bringing that previous trauma into your relationship.
yes, but the likelihood of both failing is miniscule.
Dude never got his swimmers checked. If they have spent 5 years using condoms only then this was not unlikely to happen if he was still fertile.
Holy shit.
no.
1) see your doctor about your migraines since they're worse
2) get a sleep study to see whyyou're snoring
3) your husband is an asshole, and now you're seeing why a 30+ year old man went after a teenager
I dated a total liar and it was always like this. Everyone got weird off information. He tried to keep certain friends from me. His phone was completely off limits. He was out A LOT. Of course he was cheating. He will always have some explanation he insists on that really doesn't make sense. He will be adamant. He will never be ashamed of his lies. He will never let you all the way in. I do not recommend continuing this relationship.