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Anais , ?, y.o.
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Date: November 27, 2022
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But I’m completely shocked how low the chances of that happening were. I’m not very spiritual, but weirdly I feel like that interaction was supposed to happen?
It might be nice to think that way but it's cool to realise that's not the case. Had similar with a mate I hadn't seen since school, 12 years later, about to get on a train, “Hey! Mr Ham_Man80!!!!” Would you adam and eve it, a close school friend I'd lost contact with. Had a lovely chat and a catch up.
But it's not kismet. It's not some magical universal thing. It's just a nice coincedence to be enjoyed.
It doesn't even matter whether “fate” or anything played a part in it. Bottom line is, you had a social interaction that may have led to a positive. You had a reasonable interaction, you left it feeling it was mature… which when it comes to out of the blue interactions with exes… is generally a good thing.
Don't worry about what questons he didn't ask, he's your ex. Don't worry about how much her cares about you, he's your ex. He didn't realise it was your birthday? Ok…. this is going to need some capital letters because your head space isn't in the best space on this….. HE'S YOUR EX! IT DOESN'T MATTER. AFTER SO MUCH TIME APART HE SHOULDN'T REMEMBER YOUR BIRTHDAY. HE'D BE A FUCKED UP LITTLE TREACLE IF HE DID.
Ahem, maybe a bit carried away with the caps lock and bold there but really, stop pulling apart things that don't matter. You don't need to, it means nothing, there's no value to doing that.
Stay with him, ruin your own life. That's your choice if you really want to. You're an awful person if you really plan to let this man anywhere near children, though. YOU may be “fine” with being abused, but those future kids did not sign up to have an abusive father.
She crossed your boundaries that is a deal breaker.. She's just a hook up, just ghost her.
I would perhaps edit this comment into the original, you may get less negativity
Good on you for taking some accountability and being keen on self improvement!
I’m unsure what to suggest for your relationship, as I am unfamiliar with it.
I’d also suggest looking into buying a book called “The Dialectical Behaviour Therapy skills workbook”.
It’s aim is to help you work on your mindfulness, emotional regulation, interpersonal effectiveness & distress tolerance. I believe it’s commonly recommended to those with bpd but can also help with general self improvement.
It's all good she's probably got something to do or slept in. Not a big deal. Don't be pushy she won't like that at all. Just wait a bit. Text her tonight or tomorrow morning and just make some small talk. No need to get anxious.
I would ask him why did I need you if I have to be father and mother both.. I gave birth to one child not 2… he either gets his act together stops drinking or time for him to go.. is he seeing a doctor for his depression etc or just drinking and lying in bed?
Sex is a huge part of a relationship (obviously not for everyone). It does sound like your needs are not met and this doesn't have anything to do with your girlfriend, you just have different needs in this area. I don't see how a relationship can move forward in this type of situation though no matter how much love you have for each other.