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Naughty_mom100, y.o.
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Date: November 27, 2022
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A lot of couples seem to be “generally happy” until a real test comes along. In this case, your husband has revealed a few red flags about himself: 1. he doesn’t take your word over those of others, 2. he doesn’t think what happened to you in the past was a big deal, 3. he pursues his dreams at your expense, 4. he lacks empathy for you. Sorry you had to find out this way that he’s not the supportive partner you thought he was. For the record, no, you do not have to be happy about this situation. Tell him he’s free to go but you won’t be supporting his band or helping promote their music at all, and anyone who asks why not, including all your mutual friends and family, will get the full story on how his bandmate is a total piece of shit. (Seriously, of all the bands in the world, this is the one he had to join? It’s fucking pathetic.)
Most likely, they are not open minded people. While you’re open to their scene and lifestyle, they are not open to yours. They just don’t approve of how you dress and what you do. Nothing to do with who you are.
Leave him. He broke your trust and won’t acknowledge it. Don’t marry him he’s a manipulative person and doesn’t care nor respect you
That’s his problem. As long as he’s not disturbing you when he gets in, he’s a grown adult and can stay out as late as he wants. It seems like he’s only doing it once a month, so what’s the big deal
There’s no way I see this conversation going well. Honestly this would be enough for me to want to nuke the entire relationship. Anyone who thinks stripping in front of another guy is acceptable isn’t someone I would want to date. The fact it’s your friend just makes it so much worse
helps me when i pass out
This was super concerning but I see you have a heart condition and hope you're able to get treatment if that's possible. I agree with another commenter that this type of home life (all the stomping around, constant or consistent yelling and stress) is likely exacerbating your condition. You deserve to have a healthy relationship and calming space.
But to the rest, I would urge you to go to loveisrespect dot org and take their quiz, as well as googling the cycle of abuse.
You can also call his friends and family to see if one of them can check in on him. Even if they think he's a complete dick, they probably don't want him to hurt himself.