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Foxy, 23 y.o.
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Date: October 4, 2022
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Well you’re prepared for it at least so you get to avoid opening a surprise gift you don’t like. Don’t underestimate the win there.
So if it is yours, likely, I would tell her in this instance, you gave her a list she went off it and you don’t like the change, no harm no foul. I would be casual about it but just say actually female jazz isn’t my fav I’d rather have x would you mind if i swapped it.
I think this is hard due to the cultural differences. I’m not familiar with Chinese culture so I don’t know how this is viewed by them. Putting limits on in-laws might be considered very rude to them, even if it is for 6 months.
You cannot de-escalate her. She's shown you (as well as your mother) that you mean sweet fuck all to her.
Honestly I wouldve lost my shit on her and told her and those ppl who are supposed to be your parents that we are done and we will never be in contact again.
How convenient for him he determined his field is one of the ones that requires the most intelligence.
I honestly couldn't roll my eyes harder if I tried.
Most STEM is pretty straight forward. You're either right or wrong. It works or it doesn't.
He honestly sounds like a walking Dunning Kruger effect. He knows what he knows so he thinks his field has depth, layers, and complexities. On the flip side he knows almost nothing about other fields so he has no understanding of how little he knows. He literally doesn't know enough to know he doesn't know anything. He can't see the gaps in his knowledge because he cannot see that they exist.
Many teens go through something similar but as they gain experience and their world expands they grow out of it.
I wonder if he's unable to mature out of that thinking because he places such a low value on the skills required to do so that they've metaphorically atrophied.
Or maybe he has tied this narrative so tightly to his ego that he's unable to examine it without taking a hit to his self worth.
Either way, he sounds like quite the project…
People don't change unless they want to. They don't self reflect without effort. They don't reexamine their world view unless they decide to.
Make whatever arguments you feel you must, but don't get your hopes up.
My 20y old son lives with me and I can't even make his appointments for him if he hadn't signed the hippa forms. So no her mother doesn't get to know anything girlfriend does not want her to know.
Do you have somewhere to go? It wasn't an accident. He was angry and struck you. What is to stop him from doing this again? Abusers rarely stop without intervention. It usually escalates. Don't give him a chance to hit you or your child again.
You mentioned she at one point, so you should really be saying “my daughter” or “our daughter”.
Even anonymously you hold back details while asking for help. Not a good practice.
Cut him out of your life. Cut yourself out of his. You made a serious error, as did he, so do the right thing and be responsible for the clean up. Get out of there.
Tell him straight up. Not to be rude, but I’d be surprised if he didn’t leave you ?
Nope. YOU come on, girl! You’ve gotta know deep down this is irrational? You expect a response on average like every 20 minutes dude. I’ve taken shits longer than that. You say texting 2-3 times an hour is your expectation and you’ve had to work that down from every 5 minutes. You need a hobby and a therapist, not a boyfriend. I wouldn’t have even made it 2 weeks like dude it tbh.
I imagine you push for responses and communicate pretty openly about your needs regarding that, which would be great if they weren’t unrealistic. Man can’t even finish watching a full youtube video because he knows you’ll be upset at not responding for a while. If when he texted you you were complaining about how long it takes, he probably just slowly has been texting less to avoid that.
It’s like a lose lose, he loses when he doesn’t text you but once he finally does you’ll be upset it took so long and then he’s still losing and at some point you just start thinking “why bother?”
See, why didn’t I see it like this?!? I let him get in my head and it made me question myself!
There's a reason i got a rubber stamp for this;
DON'T STAY WITH CHEATERS
Id definitely be furious at OP if i was dating her and she didnt update me in this situation. I just think what her boyfriend did was more fucked up, because to me it reads like he only cared about whether she cheated