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jasmined Public Chat Channel
Date: November 24, 2022
AmateurPub
AmateurPub
jasmined Public Chat Channel
u/Embarrassed_Meat5731, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.
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I will do that. What if she uses the “You already lied about going over to her place, why should I trust you now?” Route?
Super sorry for all the questions btw..
Honestly, it would be a waste of time to hope she’d ever catch up to you in maturity. Why would you need to explain the ethics of this? It’s not a high bar at all to date a girl who can understand that you helping to keep your sister CLEAN and dignified is an act of love.
A red flag is a warning of problematic behaviours
She has set fire to those flags long ago.
Something i learned a long time ago, people that are into you primarily for your income, really don't like it when you put it someone else's way
They tend to get really angry about you helping others
Sound familiar?
It sounds like he wants you barefoot and in the kitchen while he's “the provider” and does the “come home sit in a recliner and drink beer” sitcom life. How dare you not fall into the traditional gender roles? You're a woman, you cook. Did you miss the memo? /s
The first and biggest red flag was that he was reluctant to have an open marriage because you wanted to sleep with someone else. What the hell did he think an open marriage is?
The problem with many open marriages is that jealousy happens and partners are trying to one up each other. If an open relationship is only about fulfilling your own selfish desires and you cannot enjoy the idea of your partner being satisfied then you are not right for an open relationship.
Any time you do something to get back at your partner or you start thinking “if they get to do it, I get to do it” and that is the main motivation, your intimacy with that person is damaged.
Jealousy is poison. I purged it in myself a long time ago and it changed our relationship forever. Yes, things happened and I was ok with it. She was not always ok with the fact that I was ok but that is another issue. The moment she could tell that I was not ok, she said herself. “This is over, because it can't be just about me.”
You may have dodged a bullet with the whole open marriage thing. Because he does not sound like he should have been in that kind of relationship.
You are going to have to decide what is more important. Him, and the marriage or your current situation. You probably cannot have both. Not happily anyway.
He did start it and he did make the mistake because I do not think he wanted an open relationship for the right reasons. An open relationship should never start with a specific person that someone wants to have sex with because, if you want it to work, no one person or sexual relationship can ever be more important than your primary relationship. Ever. if it is, you don't have a primary relationship or a marriage.
He fucked up and did it wrong, now he has to live with the consequences. The question is can you be in a relationship where your spouse spends every day living with the consequences?
Only you can decide that, unless he decides first.
Good luck. I feel for you, you are in a difficult position.
If it smells bad it means she's probably eating a lot of the good veggies that produce the worst smells.
Just ask if you can keep a window open at night. I don't think there's a way to control your farts whilst sleeping.
Speak from your heart. Ask for improvements in his behaviour and ask what he needs from you in turn.
Thank you for the update, you're a good person and I'm sure you'll be a great father when the time comes.
Nah. I think she was hurt, upset, confused, and wanting to understand why he cheated on her during what, in the span of a life, is a very minor convenience. Maybe it wasn’t the most rational thing but if you’ve ever had an unfaithful partner, the last thing you are is rational. I didn’t read this as her going through old pictures and, like, pining or being sad but probably just being upset and wanting to know if they had meant anything.
Look, we’re all on the OP sucks dogpile here, but I think you’re overworking this one thing.
Ouh, stop that thinking, please!
In fact you may have even done “A” a huuuuuge favor!
He NEEDED a wake up call badly and he needed his issues to be addressed!
Which now is going to happen. Before, everybody just closed their eyes on him having a short temper and a weapon, he used for threatening your bf.
What I find really weird is, tgat now you are wining over the perpetrator, your Ex.
Rather than sticking closer as ever to the victim, Z, your bf!
Girl, better revonsider your priorities! A reaped what he sowed.
While Z reaped violence for being around you!
Only if you think having good sense is a red flag. They’ve not been dating a year. Too soon for that.