0 views
TroubleTheresa Public Chat Channel
Date: November 24, 2022
AmateurPub
AmateurPub
TroubleTheresa Public Chat Channel
No, they don't. It all comes down to ones personal experience and/or projection. Friend group also affect on how people think about this subject.
The real issue here is you don't trust him and he is being cagey about it which makes him seem untrustworthy. Don't get too wrapped up in the specifics. Do you really want to devote so much time and energy to someone you don't trust?
You are stupid. She literally could take you to the cleaners for child support. If you want to father children go to a sperm bank
Exactly!!!
Nope, that’s pretty much the bare minimum of what your boyfriend should do…
I’m sure her husband is great as well but basic respect should be expected
Maybe? A bit suspicious that hes hiding what he looks at from you, i'll admit. My boyfriend doesn't hide stuff like that from me, nor do i with him. Maybe talk about how that makes you feel.
Grabbing by the throat, strangling is one of the biggest risk factors for escalating domestic violence ending in murder. This is more than a red flag. Please don’t ignore it! Your children need you. Keep the baby if you want to, control around reproduction is also domestic violence. For your own safety and that of your children please get this man out of your life. He’s shown you he’s a violent unpredictable person. Stay safe!
i did tell her hours before i left and told her again when i was leaving she was not happy about it at all and said i cant read the room and being inconsiderate apparently because we just got home from the cinema that was hours long and im going out again 🙁
would it be an immature move to just let the friendship fizzle out? i honestly don’t know.. If Lara isn’t making an effort that should be pretty easy
Why can’t you take the kids and go sit at your table and let your ex, who you might need to be reminded is a person with her own agency, talk to whomever she wants to talk to? I mean she clearly doesn’t think she needs your help or you guys would be on the same page.
Right but your skin IS probably only not an issue because these people want to take your money, not get you a job.
YES ??
u/Zestyclose-Cry1977, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.
The right way to do it is to create a brand new Reddit account that begins with ThrowRA.
Please create a new account that starts with ThrowRA in the username and try again. Please note that we will not make exceptions to this rule.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
I don’t plan on having sex before marriage, but things could always change
It’s possible but then at least he will be a good looking divorcee instead of a fat, sad one
Hello /u/TaleDependent7494,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Ask yourself if you want to live like this for the next 40-50 years. Actually it will get worse since his health will decline and you will end to take care of him will he constantly complains.
He has health problems and do nothing for them, no he just make them worse, but you can hear his whining and handle the hallout by catering him. You are happy if he does something so small like ordering groceries like wtf.
Your husband want do the fun stuff like drinking and eating unhealthy gives s fuck about the consequences. That is fine. But he expects you do deal with his consequences and be his mother. You actually have a child and not a partner.
Bts i also have several illnesses like chronic sinusitis, gastric issus, depression, anxiety, back pain… I don't expect my partner to care for me. I would also feel so shitty if i don't really care for my illness or eat things i shouldn't do, and then complain how bad i feel. It is my own fault. And you must accept that this is your life. Do you want to whine till the end of your life? Try to find a way to handle your illnesses and not live in misery. To get constantly pull down by “ah, i feel so bad”… That makes everyone feel awful.
Please ask yourself if you can ever can happy in this relationship. And what you wish for yourself with your future. Can you really get this with him? And does he even invest so much in the relationship as you?
Okay….but did that husband have weird age restrictions? If not, not the same. She should trust her gut.
She should also keep being spontaneous and open though, if that’s what you’re getting at.
Just be there and available so he has an avenue to talk in the case he decides to.
You can't make someone open up about what's bothering them. We all process grief in our own way on our own time. Don't push and handle some of their chores and whatnot. Swinging by with food, making sure they've been hydrating, encouraging them to maintain hygiene, etc.
Don't make them do anything they're resistant to, but help them in whatever way they're willing to let you.
I'm so lucky to have you. You're so handsome. I love your eyes
You have outgrown these people because they dont care about you. None of them fo
My guess is that she’s very jealous that she has to work right now and you don’t, and she’s being childish about it.
There's such a thing as bi people, you know
It would be rather stupid if that really happens :V, I mean, if she wanted to find a father for the baby, why wasn’t him THE true father ? I mean it’s not like DNA test has been around for less than 6 years ?
Read this post again. You know he’s cheating and obviously don’t care so why do you care he’s looking at rings?
Listen.
Because if you feel icky about it deep down, you maybe want to convince yourself it was actually fine. The way to do that is talk normally. Maybe even more than usual. Because if you don't, then you're acknowledging that someone you loved, someone you grew up with, someone you trusted, did an awful thing to you. It's a sickening sense of betrayal. But if you act normal, if you say it was your idea, then they never actually betrayed you. It's fine!
Maybe I'm wrong, maybe not. But even if for some reason a teenage girl initiated something sexual with their older cousin, it is his job to stop it! He's not an ex, he's a predator.
Hmmm I don't believe in “closure”.
This was his last selfish act. Exactly who does this help other than to ease his guilty conscience. An even then, he has already destroyed any chance of a decent co-parenting relationship between you.
This will take time for you to feel better.
And for all the people that think “closure” is necessary, consider whether you are being a selfish asshole, and just stop.
Your boyfriend is being immature and ridiculous
So, what, once you reach a certain age you're just not allowed to get emotional support from your parents anymore?
I mean, do you really want to be in a relationship with a crazy insecure weirdo manchild?..
You are dating an idiot… I’m glad you have an iud
Do you feel comfortable being with someone who is SO comfortable living in filth? If your relationship progresses are you ok with being the person who does all the cleaning?
Talk to him, be honest, tell him it bothers you, it’s a dealbreaker.
This is going to sound shitty but why did you pick this woman to be your wife. The whole post emphasizes on how wonderful your mother is, yet wasn't her a considerations considered while picking a wife.
Maybe it's a cultural thing but i don't understand why you would be okay with your wife treating your mother, the single woman who raised you this way
Yeah you crossed a boundary with cheesy lovebombing
Yeah not sure what she meant by staying in touch, but I guess she wants to keep it polite
The meaning of his reaction could go either way. When someone is accused of something they find despicable, it's not uncommon to be offended and angry. It may be that your husband is upset you don't trust him. Ideally, he should have been patient and lovingly reassured you. I wouldn't say that alone makes him suspicious unless there are other red flags.
You said your mom comes over with her so they can exercise. Is your mom there the whole time? That would be make it difficult to cheat if his MIL is there, right? Do you know whose idea it was to work out together?
For your own peace of mind, get a hidden camera so you don't have to wonder.
Updateme!
Fair to have your own terms, but unless this is a turn on for you both why would you want to?
I think you would be better off just moving on, working on getting into a good space, and then starting again with a clearer calmer head.
The dead relationship you dragging around starts to smell.
If she is kissing someone else … your relationship is over.
She tried to end it with you, there should be no try. She wanted to end things, it is over.
Time to move on, you cannot be with someone you don't trust.
I’m really sorry you’re so young and going to be divorced with a child. Live and learn.
I can live with that, but I only disagree in the sense that I do feel for the OP. she's between a rock and a naked place, and there is no easy answer, I can definitely relate to feeling at the end of my tether as a mother, its just there is no easy solution where everyone is happy here. She needs help, lots of help, emotional support, and physical real life help.
But it isn’t one child – it will be one more on the additional cost of 3
OMINOUS
You don't understand. A child isn't expendable just because she's not yours. Your husband is a father. It doesn't matter if you're married and pregnant. This is HIS daughter. As a parent, he has an obligation to care for her.
The only way to “make things better” is for your husband to stick it out and provide her with the love, care and structure that she needs to feel safe and secure. There is always a reason for why a child acts out and it's your husbands responsibility to seek the necessary help.
Religion is a good guess.
You won’t even have to think about this in like 3 years.
I know how it is, health care worker and parent with chronic pain. But if the love is going away between them all the other problems hold a higher weight
Take more time before you make any decisions. Getting back together now as a rebound from the first bad experience is fear. Yeah, people get hurt sometimes, but that's what you want to experience – other people. Some of them are inconsiderate.
I'd worry you'll decide you feel trapped again if you go back now
That’s colorism… don’t deal with that bs. It’s rude and you’re young and should be thinking about what makes you feel good when with someone … you don’t need to waste your youth on bullshit. Move on.
If he didn't offer to scrub last time I wouldn't have even bothered asking him to do any of it. He fucked up by offering to do something he never planned on doing. I don't like having to nag and mommy anyone.
I'm disabled from multiple illnesses so I can't work anymore. We basically had a deal that I clean, cook, and manage the house since I don't have an income anymore. So he gets away with being pretty lazy around the house. I'm not happy with that but I have no other way to help really.
I'll probably have a talk with him about his problem of offering to do things then acting like an ass about it when the time comes. I'll tell him it literally turns me off of intimacy and sex because it's gross to mother any grown man. Then he'll probably get around to it but I'm so annoyed.
He's using you up and not giving you any support. Living with him is draining and you're used to not relying on him, because he doesn't give you any space to talk and won't listen to you.
Move out and you'll feel free. Move on and you'll feel better.
@-@ This is part of what my brain is telling me but idk… just the not-knowing part is what’s making it unbearable
I mean, with that PS on top 100% he's probably sleeping with her already the way you describe it.
If you're already filing to end the marriage, film her flirting with your husband inappropriately and report her to the daycare administration.
They'll probably still find ways to see each other. But your daycare won't be involved. And it may push him to help you expedite your split.
I’m not sure of the logistics of moving and your child and everything – maybe talk to a lawyer or a professional to figure it out?
But you definitely should dip – you can do better than Mr. “I got my car repoed” ??♀️
If this is her attitude should I even bother? No.
Her going behind your back and having emotional affairs shows she neither respects you nor that she's trustworthy. That's damaging to you. So when you return it back to her, bringing up her flaws, that's too far? No, not in my book (but I do like to get my own pound of flesh in return, so my book is a petty book). However, if you're actually interested in getting back with her, then it's just not productive. If you're not interested in getting back with her, then after the first salvo, there's much more productive uses of your time. You've said your piece, released the snark and now? Move on.
You aren’t a hostage and don’t have to work for him or live with him.
It’s actually more surprising you both choose abuse rather than risk being on your own; both in career and residence.
In healthy relationships you don't need to question whether you can trust someone or not. You know that they will be honest with you and respectful. If either my partner or I had wanted to explore our sexuality more I know we would have been up front with one another and broken up. Neither of us are interested in non monogamy, we both know that about one another and have both been respectful of that boundary.
If you don't want to be with someone who smokes weed, then you need to find someone else. That's all there is to it.
It actually wasn't the person whose pizza it was that did anything, it was the lead of the workplace. Which is actually even worse as they should be setting an example and trying to get their staff to get along, not encouraging the resentment!
She also paid the friend, so it probably felt even more like a business/ professional service.
“Think about it, she was willing to disrespect you and the relationship for a free shot.”
That hits nude
I wouldn't talk to them anymore, would live my life like they never existed
Try to get the divorce settled on before you send her to her moms. If you don’t once she gets there her mom will be in her ear about getting this and that. Just get what you need and give her enough to make her do this quick so you can move on.
You break up with him and tell him to have his ED checked out.
If you insist on staying with your bf who seems to completely lack empathy, at least re-home your dog so the poor thing can get out of your abusive home.
In general, I don't really understand why you'd stay with someone like this. If your bf has all the issues you say he does, then he needs to work on himself until he is capable of having a respectful relationship, which he's clearly not able to do now. This is something he should do for himself and by himself – and being in a relationship does not help this process for a person.
I'm sure you feel he is the love of your life, but I can assure you that the path you're on only leads to misery. Your bf is so lacking in empathy that he doesn't even believe it's possible to abuse animals. That's fucking scary, no matter what his childhood has been like.
If you stay, I guarantee you'll look back in 5 years, 10 years, however long, and regret it.