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Curvywife9, 34 y.o.
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Date: November 23, 2022
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What? That is just gross, your. Mom raise you right, once a day at worst, twice a day ideal for my household.
There is not sugar coating it, just say it with love.
Wow just wow. Run please
If its meant to be long term than I would introduce them, but I am not the type of mom to introduce my partners to my children if they are not interested in being around long term. My rule is if it lasts a year, they can meet my kids.
Sounds like Jane has a dad problem. Also you are a nepo baby – just acknowledge the fact your entire financial life only exists because your dad decided to give it to you. You can cosplay as a normal person in college for a while – but the reality is that you were handed everything.
I don't think you'd be an asshole but you're being short sighted in how you're 'helping'.
I'm not saying you have to help her, but giving her 'help' that's completely doomed and then being mad it doesn't work, it's kinda mean.
Set boundaries if you don't want to deal with this, but getting mad at essentially someone continuing to drown after shouting “just breathe!”, isn't nice.
To help you understand I have this analogy:
Your friend is drowning in the beach. You're a passer by but you are not a lifeguard (mental health professional irl). Sure, theoretically everyone would want to jump in and be the hero but what if you're a bad swimmer? Or you've got a broken leg? Or the tide is too strong for you? Nobody is going to blame you for not jumping in head first when you lack knowledge and capacity, SPECIALLY if it endangers you.
Similarly, nobody should judge you, and it is not wrong, to set boundaries or cut the friendship because it's more than you can deal with. That's mature and reasonable, you're not going to help anyone by hurting yourself.
Going back to the metaphor, shouting “just breathe!” at your friend and then getting ANGRY that that doesn't solve the issue and leaving in a huff. Well, it's mean, immature and just not a good course of action in life in general.
If you can't help her and it's getting to you, make boundaries/ leave, but blaming her for what's clearly a self image issue won't make anything better, and will in fact make you look kinda cruel.
“I know you are planning to do X with Y, i dont really care.. but the fact that you were willing to hide it from me and lie about it changes how i view the relationship, this is a deal breaker for me and its non-negotiable, goodbye”
and then break up and never talk to her again. goodluck