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? ? ? ? ? ? ?, 21 y.o.
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Date: October 4, 2022
AmateurPub
Hmmm well that type of dynamic just wouldnβt work for me. I love to chat! Silence is good too, but if you just canβt hold a conversation easily, I would take a deep look into what you need out of a relationship and how this aligns with your long term goals. Good luck!
Maybe a stupid question, but is excessive tanning considered black face now?
This, I don't understand why OP needs to go comfort her over him saying no to sex?? He's allowed to say no the same way women are without having to deal with a cry baby afterwards, especially on his birthday, literally so pathetic that people seem to think consent only goes one way
Yes you should leave him for good. Block him.
Stick to a year or so within your own age for a few more years.
I wholeheartedly agree. I don't want to be anyone's ' 6 out 10 people I asked voted for you '
Actual advice:
You can only change things on your own end. If what you've tried so far hasn't worked, you need to do something else.
You have to assume that she does want to want sex, most women have a reactive drive so they don't often feel desire spontaneously. There are lots of things that squash desire, the biggest being hormonal birth control but also other medical issues that might make it painful or uncomfortable for her. Eventually you'll want to discuss these things with her but NOT yet. If you can start couples counseling, do some sessions first and then maybe get advice on how to bring it up.
Try and get out to lunch/dinner after each counseling session. That makes it a date and something to look forward to and allows further discussion from the session if the mood strikes.
What you can do right now:
Read the 5 love languages book (it's very short) and see if you can identify both of your love languages. Talk to her about what you think her's might be and lean into it, focus on how you can pay more attention to it.
If yours is physical touch, don't yet talk about it unless she asks and if she does (and yours is physical touch, it might not be) then emphasise the other types of touch you enjoy, like her hand in your leg while you drive or hugging you from behind or showering together and her washing you back or back scratches.
Start listening to the One Extraordinary Marriage podcast:
There are A LOT of episodes but you are going to find the most validation and help by starting at the beginning (I'm not expecting you to listen to every episode, maybe the first 10 or so).
It's a podcast about a married couple where he wanted to have sex more often she didn't and when they did it wasn't great. They eventually did a challenge to have sex every day for 60 days. They discovered a lot through that.
Disclaimers:
They are a religious couple and if that doesn't gel with you, I find it very easy to ignore those parts of the podcast.
In the early episodes the husband has a bad habit of speaking over the wife. He eventually realises this and corrects himself but it's not in the early episodes and is annoying.
I find I am a better partner when I listen to the episodes. It helps you reframe everything. Again, I would mention what you are listening to if it comes up, but not push her to listen. You can only change your own behaviour, not hers. You don't want to ruin the chances she might listen by making her feel pressured to do so.
I used speech to text to type the post and that may have made things a little confusing… I don't have insurance and am pretty broke most of the time so I needed to go to the ER so I wouldn't have to pay. I had been dizzy and having headaches and almost fainting for at least 2 weeks and I got scared. They agreed to go with me to the ER because I have doctor trauma but they changed their minds I guess when it was finally time for me to go
It was almost midnight and Jake had work the next morning I'm sure he would've offered if he didn't need to work. When I asked him he dropped everything to come to the hospital with me
Just block her and move on.
There is no excuse for what she did. She KNEW what she was doing.
But if you give her the chance, she'll convince you that it was a mistake. She didn't mean it. And then, it will be fair game. She'll see that she can, in fact r, get away with cheating. After all. She would have gotten away with making out with a rando after spending the entire day kissing you, with you there to see it.
She may present herself as a perfect gf. Or she'll be an abusive one. But one day, you'll find she's been cheating.
Don't let your first real relationship be this. Just move on and find someone that won't treat you like garbage hoping they can sorry it away later.
Same. There's nothing to indicate that it's anything more than friendship, and she could be hiding the event to avoid drama. Not a great move, but I get it.
Just put hot sauce or chili flakes in it after using it.
You married under false pretences, ie you were lied to. That's grounds in some legal systems for an annulment. That's what I'd be doing.
TBF it sounds like you each want different things from this relationship. She wants to go out and have new experiences every time she sees you. Itβs okay for her to want that. Itβs okay for you to not want that. The two of you are just incompatible and this is a reasonable thing to break up over.
If you decide to stay with her, beware.your condoms storage.
Her b/c method sounds like a baby trap.
Has she ever turned you down or told you when not to have sex? Usually during ovulation, women are most horny.
You have been extremely lucky so far, my sister used this method with her husband due to religious reasons…. happy family with 6 kids.