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Then have her ask him why you are not at the party while she's there and report back to you what he says.
Yup that's the idea. At the end of the day, you don't need to change her mind. I mean, she doesn't bother to get your approbation to do stuff in your name, why would you need hers to do stuff for yourself?
Maybe you'll hear a lot more “I told you so”, but that's no sweat of your back. Her being right from time to time doesn't mean she's right all the time, and you'll learn when she might give good advice.
Now, if she still tries to step over you, then you may need to become more aggressive, but if you can just filter out her bullshit and softly push her back to a more appropriate distance, why butting heads with her right away? If she sees that she's wasting her energy and that you'll only interact with her on your own terms, she might just give up. If not, well, you may indeed to make it loud and clear that your personal space is not negotiable.
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Also tracks if they’re Jewish.
Fair is good … but fair doesn't necessarily mean the exact same thing for everybody.
E.g. maybe your boyfriend hates to cook, but doesn't mind doing the dishes.
Maybe you hate doing the dishes, but you don't mind cooking.
So, what do you think would be better, each of you cooks half the time and does the dishes half the time, or (mostly) you cook, and he does the dishes?
Anyway, try working out a trade/bargain/exchange system for chores and such … rather than presuming everybody likes/dislikes them evenly (or is even competent at them … you might cook something delicious, you might not be able to stand eating his cooking, he might be able to fix the toilet and plumbing well with ease, you might hate doing that and end up breaking it more than it was broken when you started … or can flip that stuff around – dear knows who's better at what and/or prefers/dislikes doin' what more. Basically don't presume to much, don't “order” or “demand” … communicate, bargain, negotiate.
Anyway, I'll cook, if you (or someone else) will do the dishes. 😉
want is for him to be responsible for 1-3 meals per week
What about breakfast, or trading/negotiating other things … vacuuming, sweeping, laundry, paying bills, doing the taxes, doing the dishes, cleaning the rain gutters, washing the windows, doing the grocery shopping, changing the oil in the car(s), washing the car(s), mopping the floors, cleaning the toilet(s)/bathroom(s), doing the yard work – gardening – mowing the lawn, taking out the trash/recycling, …
I’d have one last go at trying to get her to see a doctor/psychologist/something to see if it’s a medical problem that made her become… terrible.
Obviously you can’t force her so if she refuses then go ahead and divorce her
I don't know what the positive things are that you get out of this relationship but it appears that she is not the one for you. There is a person out there who will make you feel good and wants to spend all of her time with you. Look for that person, leave your abusive gf!
Not really