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rousdiamond chat
Date: November 19, 2022
AmateurPub
AmateurPub
rousdiamond chat
Don’t waste your time… move on. He is clearly NOT okay with your choice of jobs, and will only continue to give you a hot time over it. Also, even if you quit today, he will never respect you as you deserve.
Why would he be offended?
Right? That’s so trashy.
There are a lot of ways around this. Fingers, mouths, toys, etc. can all be used to make sure you will be satisfied regardless of his size
By bf can hang out alone with anyone he wants because I trust him. If neither of you trust eachother alone with other people there's no baseline trust in the relationship
He calls the guy a random guy. That doesn't make him a random guy. The OP's view is biased. She made plans to hang with this person in October. This is someone she knows from college (though it wouldn't even matter if it was a new friend). In that whole time, the OP hasn't made an effort to know anything about this guy. That seems like that's on him. Nothing he said makes it seem like she's trying to hide anything.
I didn’t say hate. I said never talk to you again or tell you off.
No means no, in any situation.
Hope this taught you a good lesson. Other peoples stories are not yours to tell. No means no And don’t be self centered. Bring these lessons into your life.
Get a nanny cam!!
Op you've not even do a trial run of living together with him. Why make a major life change like this blindly? Sure he maybe as sweet as you describe him to be, but so do the abusers. Its their standard MO
It’s a terrible situation but this is the safest option. If you can record him singing the song as evidence. Do you have any other family members that you could live with?
No need to be rude
This isn’t really about the cost of his gift, but the low thought and effort. If he wrote you a song or painted you a picture or made it a very thoughtful gift it would be meaningful. He’s not going to stop being frugal so you need him to understand you need the effort. Maybe you guys should have a set amount of money you spend on each others gifts.
Ehh I've had way more than 30 dudes too. My partner knows. He's also had way more than 30. Our relationship is awesome and we're monogamous and we treasure each other, the body count doesn't matter. We still talk about the random sex sometimes. I'll talk about a time when I had three dudes with J names on rotation and he'll remember one of his casual partners from 30 years ago and say her name wistfully…maybe it's weird, but I love him more for it. We both love sex, and they might have been randoms, short flings, whatever. But they shaped us into who we are now, for each other. And what we are now, for each other, is as close to perfect as I know.
Not all men see you as less than for your experiences. Not all men are insecure like that.
Narcissistic personality disorder is the baseline for a few other antisocial disorders, including psychopathy.
You have virtually no dating experience. You were in a failing marriage and didn’t realize it. You need some time to work with a professional AND to find yourself again. Get back into hobbies, interests, and friends. Be someone interesting and not just the wounded recently divorced guy who can’t stand to be alone with himself.
You can’t be in a relationship that long and not have some processing to do. And that takes time.
Maybe you’ll feel ready in sooner than a year. Maybe it will be longer. But until you have yourself sorted, you’re just not going to be able to be a good partner.
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It's understandable if you can never get over this. I doubt most people would be able to. And if that means the relationship can't continue, then you know what you have to do.
But consider this as well: She had agreed you were exclusive and did what she wanted anyway and then only told you once you were much more invested in the relationship and it would be harder for you to leave. This is really fucking selfish. To me, it demonstrates a precedent that I would never forget and it would keep me from ever fully trusting her again.
Just a general warning to men.
I'm 52 years old and not a very sociable guy. I've had maybe 15 people who I'd consider proper friends in my adult life, and maybe 50 acquaintances. Out of those people, I've known four men who were used against their knowledge or will to make a women pregnant. And that's only the ones who found out about it because the women were brazen enough to brag about it, and didn't care if they separated as long as they were paid child and spousal support.
That this happened to over 5% of the men I know is extremely unsettling. Be very careful – especially with women who are in their mid-30's, who get it into their head that they are racing against time. This issue is real.
Bro fcvk the facts on whether she was piped down or not.
She lied to you for no reason. To be with another guy. At his house.
I don't care if she was just making him a meal bc his hands were amputated. Emotional cheating is still cheating. She made the decision to prioritize being with him over being honest with you.
Go get yourself treated and get away from that toxicity.
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It sounds like there are some other issues here, but in general it's best not to blame a partner for their friend's indiscretions – unless it's directly effecting your relationship. As sometimes there's a history that makes it really hot to just walk away from a friendship.
So maybe it's a good idea to discuss the overall situation – and to establish some boundaries – like maybe it's okay for him to occasionally see his friend, as long as it's not a regular thing.
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It’s so refreshing to see a post on this sub where the answer isn’t “break up or get therapy.”
You don’t. Being open with your emotions is healthy af in a relationship.
You’re not taking it seriously enough.
If your niece gets hurt it’s your fault. Will you be able to live with yourself if that happens? I wouldn’t.
Honestly, I'd be fine with this. If she's satisfied with your sex life, who cares what she did in the past? Do you really think you're gonna be the biggest dick she's ever had? The best lay? Or the richest guy she has ever hung out with? Maybe, but probably not. She chose you to spend her life with and give her emotional energy. To women, penis is abundant and low in value. Emotional energy is at a premium. You can't think of this situation as a man. You gotta think of it from her perspective. She had fun experiencing life in a class above hers and having experiences she couldn't afford on her own at that time in her life. Clearly, that wasn't satisfying to her in the long run, or she'd still be doing that.
She is satisfied by you, and by your own account you have a great, adventurous sexual dynamic. My advice to you is to try to think about the situation objectively from a standpoint of what is most important to a successful relationship. The amazing, adventurous, and sexually skilled guy who gets the girl and she wants to spend her life with, or the rich guy who was kinda fun and new and had a big dick?
Joining the Catholic church is about as stupid and hypocritical as abstinence
We’ll it means that I care for her deeply, but thanks def not hung up
You can trust someone but it doesn't mean your trust won't get betrayed.
Y’all are both entitled to your own reactions. She’s allowed to say no or yes to whatever, so are you! She doesn’t owe you a “yes” to make up for her “no” she can say no as many times as she wants because she has that right!! So do you!!! Also BRO WHAT THE FUCK THOSE ARE HER LEGS NOT YOURS????
Divorce is a big deal. But there is life on the other side.If she's that unhappy, maybe you should concentrate on reassuring her that in this case, SHE'S the important one. Make sure she knows that whatever happens, you will be fine, il ut right now she needs to concentrate on what she needs from life. And and angry, toxic relationship, might not be giving her the best options.
Or pencil dick.
How you should deal with this is too never see him again.
F in the chat for OP not wrapping his willy.
Too late now bud. You're her meal ticket now. You can leave, but she'll just take you to court and make you write checks for her to sit around.
Your last shot is some kind of come to Jesus ultimatum where she either shapes up or you ship out and refuse to contribute anything but the bare minimum. And even that will probably get her to work just hot enough you don't leave…
Thanks for the wise words. You're really helping out.
I don't have a history of trauma or therapy, fortunately. I have been consciously trying to work on myself for the last 10 years or so, maybe that's some form of therapy after all.
I was kind of looking for book recommendation, which I feared wouldn't have made a difference anyways, but now I actually have something where I can be relatively hopeful about. I appreciate you a lot!
Great advice. Take it seriously and push him towards getting proper treatment. Clinics will also help teach you how to communicate properly with them.
It's important to recognize that anorexia has one of the highest mortality rates of any disorder
I wanted to get her away from this loser chick. She is not good person for her to be around. I don't see ehy anyone can't see that. I'm trying to help
There are a thousand ways this affects his actions and how he treats her and others.
I don’t know which part was confusing honestly. That was just for some background, to explain that he couldn’t be present to celebrate monthly which was fine because his team needed him. This is no problem. He was upset doing it, he felt pressured by his parents, team mates and coach to continue on it, but even before we started dating he was already thinking about quitting. I said he was once a national champion just to explain his reasons to continue to try, because he was one like 5 years ago. I also wanted to explain how dedicated he is, how frustrated he gets when there is nothing to do, that’s why I said it. I let it very clear that my problem wasn’t with that. He left his sport last year after his last attempt, which went well. He is now practicing another one, not to much demanding (this is not too relevant). My problems started when he decided to join something that is traditional where we live, it’s something for student, they organize a celebration and build things they will need, decorations and make costumes. This took place this weekend and in the next two. Next weekend is our 2year anniversary, he couldn’t celebrate because he needed to go, I was upset but life goes on. He has been saying how bad he feels participating in that, how bad they make him feel, how fed up he is with their attitude and everything else so I wasn’t really expecting that he would prioritize that over our anniversary. But today after the first day of celebration he said he would because he was upset about how it went. Since we didn’t have too much opportunities in the past to celebrate monthly I told him that I wanted to at least celebrate annually. I’m upset because it wasn’t the priority since the beginning, now that he experienced it he wants to do something and “they can all go f*** themselves”. He said it like he didn’t prioritize them over me since the beginning.
Super weird.
The second my SO leaves for work my pups jump up to sleep on the bed with me.
We take naps all the time separately…
Stop making it weird, soon she’s going to feel guilty about leaving* the bed for any reason and that’s just toxic. Why would you want your partner feeling uncomfortable about you sleeping on the floor, it isn’t cute.
Lmao I can’t believe this got to you
You’d have to ask her why she does that.
To me (44F) going out to a club is like going to a Halloween party and makeup is like wearing a costume. The makeup and clothing you wear to a club isn’t what one would wear going to a quiet dinner.
Anyway…personally, I don’t wear makeup most days. I work from home, in my pajamas. When I leave the house im usually walking the dogs or going to my farm to see the horses.
A few months ago, I started getting in the habit of actually showering, doing my hair, putting on some basic makeup on Saturday’s when I run errands. Like to the grocery.
My partner asked me at one point, “why are you getting dolled up to go to the store? Who are you trying to impress?” And I said “myself. I’m doing it for myself.”
Maybe she wants to get dolled up to feel good about herself amongst the sea of other women who are all dolled up. Maybe her friends expect it. Who knows. Ask her.
Now that she has a proper diagnosis hopefully some of the meds will help. It will also depend on what type she has as to how fast it progresses. I have a couple of friends with MS and the experience really varies. Do everything you can to get her the best medical care you can afford and look into what supports are available in your community. My partner was diagnosed with fibromyalgia a few years ago and I know how hot it is to deal with an unpredictable debilitating illness. Just to the best you can and don’t be afraid to ask for and accept help.
Do you really think the world is this black and white? That the moment you have feelings of insecurity or distrust, the relationship is over?
Good luck, buddy. You're going to need it.
Then maybe I don’t lol ??♀️ but if he is texting someone he can do it without me wasting anymore of my time
Uhh I don't normally kink shame but this is too much. I would run.
I wouldn't watch that movie.
It’s all so tiresome…
a phobia is not the same as disliking something, and pretending so is damaging to people with phobias whose condition is then misunderstood and minimized, and creates healthcare confusion surrounding phobias.
Alright so why should someone who is cheating be allowed to get away with it?
As much as the truth hurts its better than living a lie. And cheaters are 99% caught eventually, better catch them asap because it gets harder and harder to get away as relationships go on.
Also your whole comment is a mind fuck lol
Your first point – dont always tell on cheaters Last point – tell on cheaters
Make your mind up lad.
Alright so why should someone who is cheating be allowed to get away with it?
As much as the truth hurts its better than living a lie. And cheaters are 99% caught eventually, better catch them asap because it gets harder and harder to get away as relationships go on.
Also your whole comment is a mind fuck lol
Your first point – dont always tell on cheaters Last point – tell on cheaters
Make your mind up lad.
Even the sons in on it!!
That doesn't mean anything. There's plenty of grown ass adults with respectable jobs and families who do coke. If this was childfree time and any of them like to partake, they're more likely to let there hair down.
The point is you can google what you want and find information that’s convenient.
You are making assumptions based on your disdain for purity culture. Of course her disposition changed she saw him as a potential partner and no longer does. She said she would still be friends with him which means she doesn’t think he’s a bad person.
Based on what we know without making assumptions I think she’s in every right to feel how she does as do many others that make this choice as a preference and your bias being put on these people without actually knowing their thought process shows that in your fight for acceptance you are actually judgemental.
Why would YOU reach out to them, though? Perhaps if THEY came to you and apologized, made amends, etc.
Even then, I'd never let them be alone with the future kids.