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control , del lush 10 minutes [191 tokens remaining]
Date: November 19, 2022
AmateurPub
AmateurPub
control , del lush 10 minutes [191 tokens remaining]
That’s on him then bc I’m down for almost anything, all he needs to do is ask or LMK what he wants.
While it's a bit weird you say no to this but yes to golden showers it's still your choice and he should respect that.
She's a work friend. Just leave it at that.
First off, I’m sorry you’re hurting.
It sounds like he’s been very honest with you. He said he was never fully invested in the relationship and that he wanted a break. He told you he’s not in love with you. I think you should believe him.
It sounds like you might have a bit of an issue confusing infatuation with love. How far into the relationship were you before you felt you were in love?
From my experience, love tends to take longer to develop and doesn’t “burn as hard,” so to speak. Overwhelming passion in the early stages of a relationship is amazing and fun, but doesn’t mean it’s going to be the real deal long term.
Give this some time to heal and focus on keeping busy with friends and things that make you happy. I suspect that before long you will look back at this relationship and see a bunch of his behaviors (and maybe yours) in a new light. Time gives perspective.
I just read through your post history and at a certain point you have to want better for yourself and start making steps toward that
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When my wife was pregnant with our first kid it almost ended our marriage. The woman that I loved was gone and was replaced with a monster. Every single thing I would say or do annoyed her. She would blow up at me for the tiniest things constantly. On our anniversary, we didn't even make it to the restaurant because the route I drove there apparently wasn't the fastest way, although the difference would be two minutes at most. Instead, she decided she would rather spend our anniversary yelling at me for how stupid I apparently am. This is just one example of many. I was belittled and berated for 9 straight months with no support system because God forbid you ever call out a pregnant woman's behavior.
I honestly tried to accept that it was just pregnancy hormones and not my wife, but I grew to resent her over the pregnancy. She would blow up at me if I ever gently suggested that she should talk to her doctor about her hormones so I just stopped trying. By the end, I had pretty much resigned myself to help her get through the pregnancy, get the baby situated, then file for divorce. After the pregnancy though, my old wife almost immediately came back and we were able to work through it.
Now we are getting to the point where she wants to try for another. Honestly I just can't do it. She admits that she was awful during the last pregnancy and says she'll work with the doctor on her hormones this time, but it's just not worth it to me. Even if it's a little better, I refuse to risk going through that again. I've been avoiding the conversation but I'm running out of excuses. I just don't know how to tell her that she is the reason I no longer want another child.
Tl;Dr: Wife was a monster during pregnancy and I don't want to go through that again.
OP I'm sorry but this is straight out of the playbook of abusers. They manage their behaviour until you're trapped (marriage, baby, mortgage or a combination of the three) and then start the abuse. This is controlling behaviour and it's unacceptable. If you feel unsafe telling him you are going out with friends, which it sounds like you do, then that tells you all you need to know about this man. I can tell you it only gets worse, in my case it escalated to emotional psychological, physical and financial abuse. I'm telling you this because you need to know that if he doesn't change his behaviour on this, it is not going to get better. Ever.
If he is not going to accept you telling him you will be seeing friends then you need to leave him.
I am, at a minimum, side-eyeing the circumstances that “allowed” her to overhear. I do therapy at home, as does my roommate, but we're both very careful to ensure that we're not heard by the other, even if one is sleeping. Because sleeping people wake up all the time, particularly from naps.
Had she pressed a glass to the wall and listened at a point when he had every reason to believe there was no chance, that would be one thing.
Openly discussing his feelings about the abortion mere feet away with the fig leaf of her nap is, if truly accidental, overwhelmingly stupid. And it feels potentially quite manipulative.
Throw this one back.
I see nothing wrong morally with this. He was honest. It's up to you if this is within your boundaries.
You are making excuses for him emotionally abusing your son. You are an adult. If you want to put up with this revoking behavior for you, that’s your prerogative. But your son is a child. He doesn’t understand why dad won’t speak to him and your husband is destroying his safe space and inner voice.
Be a mom. Put him first.