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BrittanyDawn, 24 y.o.
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Date: October 3, 2022
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“I like the fact that we aren’t married because it means that we choose to be together every day”
I know your mom was highlighting that as a distinction stemming from being unmarried, but I think it’s just as important for married couples to hold on to that mentality. You (ideally, at least, if you’re doing it right) don’t stop choosing to be together every day once you get married either. It’s just as important to keep affirmatively choosing your partner on an ongoing basis once you are married, you don’t just get to check out because you’re “locked in” or some other nonsense. Complacency is not part of a healthy marriage.
My partner and I had been together for ten years by the time we got married in 2019, but even now, we both make a point of remembering that we’re not stuck. It’s important to both of us that we each have the resources (financial, social, emotional, etc) to leave at any time and be okay on our own. We got married to protect each other when shit goes sideways, not because it was the only thing that would keep us from wandering off. We were already doing fine on that front for the first ten years.