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westworldcouple, 26 y.o.
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Date: November 15, 2022
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I don’t think I need to go to jail but okay
Looking at your post history . Why are you still with her ?
Sounds like you want to be in my shoes ?
Wow, this guy is gutsy, running away from redditors
You humiliated him by telling some guy that has a crush on you about his sexual problems. I feel bad for him, and I really hope he does break up with you. I feel bad for that guy too, he might’ve seen this as you getting drunk and texting him because he could fulfill you. Overall shitty of you
Bare minimum? do you realize that you can not force love on someone? If he feels no connection to a child how to be a real, good father? That kid should turn to the mother first and ask her, how she would feel if she was forced into a life altering situation like that?
So it’s still pretty early, especially considering your age. If she isn’t willing to make any adjustments or meet you halfway, I’d break it off. If your needs aren’t being met you’re going to be miserable.
It’s basic inference, not melodrama
This is completely untrue; you just made it up lmao.
Why are you trying to give him the benefit of the doubt and being understanding? Why are your feelings invalid? You are the wronged party yet you are making all the sacrifices? This would not be acceptable to me. I would not have come back till he got a new job. No friends parties, no lunches, no glances and office chats and email, which they are still doing, believe that.
It sounds like you are feeling a lot of pain and confusion about your relationship. It's understandable that you would feel hurt and upset about your husband's behavior, especially if it has been causing a strain in your relationship. It's also understandable that you might feel overwhelmed and not know what to do.
First, it's important to remember that you are not alone. Many people struggle with communication and intimacy in their relationships, and it's possible to work through these challenges with the right support.
One thing you could try is talking to your husband about how you are feeling. It's important to approach this conversation in a calm and non-accusatory way, and to express your own feelings and concerns rather than blaming him for everything. You might try saying something like, “I feel really hurt and confused about what's been going on between us lately. I love you and I want to work through these challenges together, but I need your help and support to do that. Can we talk about what's been going on and how we can move forward?”
It's also a good idea to consider seeking the help of a therapist or counselor. A trained professional can help you both to communicate more effectively and to address any underlying issues that may be contributing to the problems in your relationship.
Finally, try to be patient with yourself and your husband. It may take time and effort to work through these challenges, but it is possible to rebuild trust and intimacy in your relationship.
He pretty much asked her for photos. This man does not respect you. ?
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Your girl is going out and getting wasted with a guy she hooked up with in the past and then sleeping on his couch? Yea I’d take a hard pass on that personally
she says because I don't have anyone and you know I am lonely so it's not right for you to leave me alone.
mom needs to go make some friends – meetup, hobbies, some damn thing
I apologize for asking but was your mother's husband your father? That last line seems pretty callous towards him if he was. Was her OP a close family friend, that kept coming around as if nothing until you found out? This makes a huge difference in comparison, as this makes it way more hurtful than if it was just a co-worker or ONS. There are levels of betrayal, this guy is in every picture, video OP has with his father during his last holidays, milestones, etc. Hell, he probably spoke at OP's fathers funeral! I hope OP has it in their heart to forgive. But if they can't, they are also right. Their relationship has been poisoned. And to say it does not involve them, no one can say if it does or not. It is their choice to make. Details matter and lies are the worst kind of betrayal. As these lies have made OP treat a person as a close friend, maybe an uncle for far too long.
I don't understand, you give her a present with something that she wanted, no matter the source, and you receive a book of date ideas?
Or I'm wrong in this?
He could be in the hospital, kidnapped, phone broken, drugged, in an emergency, etc. You can’t jump to conclusions until you hear about what happened. If it’s just like “I got drunk and forgot” then yes that’s grounds for consequences.
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Sorry, are you saying narcissist’s insecurities forcing them to mentally refrain any given situation so as to see and justify themselves as the good guy (regardless of how bad their actions are) is not a hallmark trait of narcissists?
You should just remind me that outside pressure will likely only make their issues worse and that if he is genuine about a relationship with his granddaughter then his relationship with his daughter needs resolving from a genuine place that only he can come from. Your sister being receptive to him is her choice entirely, he should approach it as such, and hope for positivity, but absolutely shouldn't place any expectations on her. A heartfelt apology directly from him would be a good start. Anything from outside perspective won't help, or come across as genuine.
I'd stay out of it other than to give him those reminders when it does come up. I'm sorry OP, family divides are difficult and I hope you all get some peace whatever happens.
Captain my captain, I'm using two extremes in this conversation that actually forced a local survey. So I'm not talking “kinda small”…. we are speaking HUGE uncomfortable dick… and MICRO. And unfortunately this was a local study done by a radio show in my area. The radio show does a thing that helps people who had first dates, but got ghosted, try and get a second date.
Long story short a guy got ghosted because he admitted his penis size. The date was apparently great for both besides that. The gentleman admitted his size because he felt comfortable and he had incidents where women(or A woman) walked off after revealing.
This becomes a big thing the radio show tries to get this man a date and it becomes a segment of theirs for a while, and they conducted surveys of if its too big would you leave or ghost and if its too small would you leave or ghost…. the numbers were messed up, and the answers were just as bad. It was 150 or 200 people on the survey. But yeah, it was messed up.
Trust is gone. And if he travels a lot for work, it's possible it's happened before, and will happen again. He is only sorry because he was caught, that is all.
Agreed! And you were right.. checked his profile and the best friend is engaged so maybe that’s why the sister will have a problem with it…
Respect yourself and tell this fool bye. Throw his ass in jail. What's stopping him from doing this to you again? Would you be injured or even alive if he got mad again and put hands on you? Don't give him the chance to hurt you again.
Yeah sorry, I glossed over your qualifier. But choosing financial dependence to a man is the absolute antithesis of feminism – even if it is just hurting herself. It doesn't make her a bad person but it sure as hell doesn't make her a feminist. According to you a feminist is a woman who does whatever she wants so long as she isn't hurting anyone else. But that just totally ignores the social and political dimension of feminism. Feminism may provide the opportunity for a woman to choose whatever she wants but if a woman chooses to subjugate herself to patriarchal power structures she's not a feminist. That's just absurd.
Yeah sorry, I glossed over your qualifier. But choosing financial dependence to a man is the absolute antithesis of feminism – even if it is just hurting herself. It doesn't make her a bad person but it sure as hell doesn't make her a feminist. According to you a feminist is a woman who does whatever she wants so long as she isn't hurting anyone else. But that just totally ignores the social and political dimension of feminism. Feminism may provide the opportunity for a woman to choose whatever she wants but if a woman chooses to subjugate herself to patriarchal power structures she's not a feminist. That's just absurd.
I agree. A guilty person would try to play it cool, laugh it off, make it into a joke, put you at ease. When I am accused of something I didn’t do, I get really righteous bc I can’t believe someone would even imply I might have done such a thing. BUT: get Julia out of your house. I feel left out and jealous by what’s been happening and I’m not even you!
that's what i thought but i was having second thoughts so i came here. you're right i should end things before it gets hot. thanks for sharing this really helped
Where is she from exactly? Being married and having children early may be very normal for her. Some marriages are arranged.
Also, some people get married after weeks, or less, of knowing one another. Nothing wrong with that if it is what they both want. Being together for years before marrying does not guarantee a successful marriage.
Whatever the reason it sounds like two people on very different life courses. OP would be wise to end the relationship and find someone whose status in life matches his own. And let the girl find someone who fits hers. Simple as that really.
Also, OP, I wouldn't trust this girl about birth control. She could have had the IUD removed. If she has condoms, she may have tampered with them. If you do not want to chance a pregnancy, just end it.
If you trust your partner why would you need that assurance? One of these things is not like the other.
At least you didn’t sleep with a close friend of yours. Keep your baby. Don’t let anybody pressure you into anything, not even your baby daddy.
I was also hoping that if they ask me why I'm not drinking I can tell them straight up. “Because I can't have a drink and enjoy it without you harshly joking about it.” And that's a good point about my mom. I should correct myself and say that she WAS an alcoholic.
No shit. What happens if the kid is disabled? You gonna dump them too?
Not true. At all. Bad breath is most the time from periodontal disease. I'm a hygienist.
yea as a former smoker you really start to notice the smell. It gets into everything and takes forever to go away.
Yeah, no.
OP, I feel like your expectations are very swayed by what happened with your ex who cheated while on vacation.
Cheating on vacation is not what a normal partner does. It doesn't warrant a “wow, this girl is loyal!” because it's not a special or great or difficult thing to not cheat on someone you love. It's basically the bare minimum which doesn't deserve any sort of praise.
To you, who had that horrible video sent, what your new girlfriend did is basically still a lot better to what happened before and that makes you think you should maybe forgive her, simply because she wasn't cruel to you but instead owned up to it right away.
But the facts are:
She decided to drink with this guy.
She made out with this guy.
She would have seemingly continued to make out with him (and maybe more) if her friend hadn't stopped her.
She cheated. She may not have sent you a video. She may have not slept with the guy (because her friend stopped her?). She may cry while your ex laughed. But she still cheated.
Your bar for a good partner seems so low that it's a tripping hazard in hell. There are a ton of women out there who won't cheat on you. Since you already had so many trust issues, I would really advise you to find a different partner.
Maybe I am him… 🙂
It might be worthwhile to write down what both of you and to achieve (short and long term) so you can properly set ground rules. Beyond the ground rules, that would also allow you to better appreciate what each other wants.
For instance (Him, short term) – limited contact with your family (Him, long term) – ? (You, short term) – allow relationship to stabilize (You, long term) – Have him eventually develop a healthy relationship with family.
I think it is worth agreeing on what each of you want to achieve ST and LT. Otherwise, it is hot to develop boundaries and a plant to get there. For instance, maybe at some point (although goal, not time based), you could have dinner with the family member that he likes the most and work your way up.
Starting a family is a long term goal of mine and has been prior to getting with him and that is something we both said we wanted. I wouldn’t date someone who never wanted to have kids because our goals wouldn’t align. I don’t want to plan a family specifically because I want a family with him just in general.
He is financially well off. He makes 200k+ a year so that’s not the reason for him having roommates.
I don’t expect him to make a change like that right away, my point with that comment is that with conflicting actions and statements I wonder if he just tells me things to appease me versus just being honest with me.
You are a whiny 25 year old, and you need to grow up.
A loving boyfriend would never guilt you over this. Period.
Hey don't downgrade chicken shit like that – it makes a great fertiliser! My mum started keeping a sack of it in her rainwater barrel and using the poopy water on the garden and her plants went wild.
OP is a hemorrhoid.
I really want to work through
You gave her a 2nd chance and she fucked someone less than a month later and lied about it.
Have some self respect and call an attorney.
I wish we could turn the tables on this matter so he can experience how it is to be in my shoes and stop with this poor attitude.
Have I got news for you!
Are you subconsciously on the lookout for similarities between her and her mother? I can't imagine my MIL being the first thing to pop into my head when it's my partner who “hurt” me.
This is one of those tough conversations you have to have before marriage. And it’s also not something to compromise on. If she led you on to think she wants kids it was manipulative but you went to far and you acknowledge that.
Lol, I’ve had healthy LTR’s my whole adult life. 🙂 I’m not worried about it.
You haven't made your peace with not having kids. If kids weren't a deal breaker, you never would have gotten upset, tried to leave and then said she's just like her Mother.