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♥Valerya_sex, 22 y.o.
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Date: November 14, 2022
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This is asinine…..you don’t just get an abortion bc the baby is an inconvenience…..ABORTION IS NOT BIRTH CONTROL
I do kind of understand his side. I mean technically you are married already and decided beforehand that you planned on getting engaged and married again. That all already takes the specialness out of a proposal. What makes a proposal so special is to show your partner you love them so incredibly much that you now want to marry them, sometimes you show them how special they are by also planning a date or situation you know they will enjoy to make them a little extra happy. For you it was already so clear that want to be married and spend your life together because you already are married and picked a ring together. Then additionally you also gave him instructions for the proposal. Honestly the whole thing feels incredibly backwards and just awkward for him that he had to propose, because it really makes no sense. Like at all. I understand that you want this special proposal like so many others, you've probably seen videos of it and want that too. But you made a decision to get married for your visa and then you made another decision to get married again, planning a whole bunch of stuff and all that make a proposal really unnecessary. You can't put it on him that this proposal didn't on-line up to your expectations because nothing would have, it would have all been fake and not you getting super emotional or surprised. You try to blame it all on him now but this is the consequence of both of your decisions over the past few years. Of course you are allowed to be disappointed that your life didn't exactly work out the way you might have planned, but it's not fair to put this all on your boyfriend or rather husband. If you generally feel like he doesn't put in a lot of effort and you'd feel more appreciated if he planned romantic dates or whatever else, then communicate that with him. That is a conversation about love languages and expectations and definitely worth having if you want to spend your life together.
She keeps breaking up with you. She's not healthy enough to be in a committed relationship and sounds confused. Not get fault considering her trauma. But that's who you're choosing. Do you think you can save her OP? Because you can't – she likely needs help to work through her past but she needs to do that.
Why don't you deserve more? It's only been eight months and this is what you are accepting. As a trauma survivor she has my sympathy but I've also tried to love someone enough to heal their wounds and a) i now see that that shows I need to do some serious healing and b) it didn't work. They were toxic and detrimental to me mental health and recovery.
I’ve been told by people to open the relationship on his side or to let him cheat once with someone random because it’d make him feel better, idk how I feel about it
Agreed, but its still her preference…….regardless of logic. She can ultimately say no, give the terms, without any explanation and that should suffice.