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Mary, 19 y.o.
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On-line Live Sex Chat rooms Mary
Date: November 14, 2022
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First of all, will the $6000 help long term or will it be used to plug a financial hole temporarily for a house she cannot afford which means she will soon be in another financial hole?
The answer to the above question should guide you on your decision. It would be terrible not to help her with $6000 so she could hold on to her house but it would be a waste if she can’t afford to pay for the house in future without further help.
Her income and expenses you’ve tabulated shows a mere $800 left after expenses. How is this workable? Bearing in mind that rideshare income isn’t fixed, it is no wonder that she fell behind in her mortgage.
By the way, you should consider it a gift instead of a loan. Consider it a bonus if you get paid back.
I don’t understand why people get this bent out of shape over porn. That’s all it is- it’s not replacing your partner, it’s not cheating, and it can actually be extremely fun to watch together. I feel like it’s always a huge red flag to me when someone gets this distraught about their partner watching it- because it’s more of a self worth/self esteem issue that they have rather than that you’ve done anything wrong. It’s a THEM problem- not a YOU problem, if that makes sense. I’m not speaking poorly of her- just maybe you guys need to figure out WHY this bothers her so much, and help her work through whatever it is?
As long is you don’t pee on the walls I don’t see a problem
I think he’s got borderline controlling or even narcissistic personality tendencies. I think someone even mentioned gaslighting you. You need to seriously consider your future with this person as things will only escalate. Be prepared for lots of over compensating by him to ask your forgiveness in public but behind closed doors he will be plotting his nasty revenge if you choose to leave him. In his head you’re his property and only he makes decisions not you!! Confide in friends and family to let them know what’s going on as most will be blinded by his public charm which are hallmarks of a true narcissist. I wish you all the best and stay strong ? Let us know how you get along. In a way I hope I’m wrong but don’t think so. Have an awesome weekend buddy
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Why have you singled out my comment when literally everyone in top comments is saying the same thing?
Often therapy gives you the strength to advocate for yourself. To put yourself in a position mentally where you can see the way forward for you.
Often the idea of changing something that you have had all your teenage and adult life is scary and you still with what is comfortable or for the children.
Some people grieve the future they thought they would have, so planning a new future can be full of emotion, but also with support can be an adventure and a challenge that you have the strength for because of everything you are already coping with. Imagine instead that your energy goes not to supporting him and managing his needs, but to you and what you need to do.
He is making his choices, to abuse his drugs, to look for validation elsewhere, none of these thoughts are about you and his family at this point. Maybe they were but now they are not. So maybe it is time to make new choices for yourself.
Good Luck on your journey.
He may have been born there but he grew up in Arizona. You mentioned you don’t have any friends there, if he spent most of his life in Arizona then he wouldn’t have any friends either. Unless he made new ones, and if that’s the case why couldn’t you make any?
I'm going to ask him tonight. Thank you so much! I feel like an idiot for trying to come up with… I don't know, a Rube Goldberg device of asking him without asking him instead of just saying, “Hey, so soon or?”.
Thank you!
Then why does he take every opportunity to tear you down?
Your behavior is not fishing for compliments, is empathetic and kind. He is negging you, trying to make you feel bad about yourself.
The big question is why would he do that? Why does he get satisfaction from hurting you and tearing apart your self esteem? From making you doubt yourself and your impulse to help and be kind to people other than himself?
Yeah, I was thinking there might be something else. Like maybe everything is so “tidy” because his wife tidies often and he doesn’t realize it (or she at least perceived things this way). Or maybe there is otherwise some unbalanced distribution of contributions and this is the straw that broke the camel’s back.
Couple that with the anxiety of dropping to a single income household (whether that is rational or not given the circumstances), I can understand the increased tension.
Luckily there’s lots of great advice here about how to have an open and honest conversation. I hope this sorts out quickly for you both and we see you stronger on the other side, OP!
Thank you so much, this was a really honest and kind response ❤️
I think this is where I'm at with this. I'm not her mum or dad. What I'd like to get out of the conversation today is for her to say that her spending is a problem
Lol Americans
You people are insane
Great idea! That way if she's cheating, she learns to hide it better!
Yes, “fetish” was the word I was looking for! And those should never be inflicted on the unknowing, unwilling and unconsenting.
I'd probably end the relationship.
I mean that one works if your goal is to just get along better superficially but not if you want a deeper connection.
Why not just commit to honesty without judgment instead? It looks like this:
“I am having trouble understanding what you mean, could you explain in more detail”
I think you need to take a step back and give him space. None of this has anything to do with you and you’re selfishly making it about you.
After four years, you finally wore him down and pressured him to meet his parents. Thinking, somehow, whatever their issues were that you – a 24 year old with zero background apparently about the nature of their relations, could resolve their conflicts.
You’ve now learned that his parents are assholes, and likely were abusive if his dad is so casually and easily pushing his kid to the ground.
There is a reason why at 18 he cut contact with his family and that they don’t know about his life. He likely has a book full of good reasons as to why he doesn’t have a relationship with his parents.
It’s unfortunate this has happened and that this has reopened wounds within your bf.
The only thing you should do is respect his wishes for space. He’s hurt by the reaction from his parents.
This isn’t about you, so let him come to terms with it in his own time.
Lesson learned – do NOT push people on their boundaries. The boundaries are created and used for self protection. Respect your boyfriend, or any other person in your life, and his/their boundaries in the future.
What?
Your brother is an AH.
If that's what you know, think of all that you don't know.
My brother’s wife has a me vs the world attitude and she’s alienated everyone in her life and his. She picks fights with anyone who she perceives isn’t her number one fan. He enables her. I occasionally see my brother, but I won’t be around her. I am concerned that that’s your future.
Delete the gym. Facebook up. Hit the lawyer.
. I guarantee you he will be doing the same thing in 10 years.
But you can't actually and that's my point.
Further discussion is definitely needed. I think you need to tell him everything you have been feeling since he brought it up.
I also think it would also be good for you to know “why” he brought it up in the first place. It doesn’t seem like it was out of the blue for him, so what got him thinking about it? What made him think you would be open to considering it? And why now? Did he have someone in mind already? Knowing the answers to these questions may help you understand better where his head was/is at and how you want to truly proceed in the future.
Honestly, if I was in your shoes I would probably feel the same as you do.
You misjudged her from the beginning. Live! and learn.
Leave her alone now and move on.
Time to get some male friends and also focus on your dating life.
Too much wasted effort. Go make your efforts pay off.
Why have you gotten him things when you haven’t even been on a date yet…?
only on leave (every few months) and whatever weekend he can/decides to come down but this is where football becomes an issue
His issue likely isn't with those women, or even you but himself. He feels guilty about enjoying that stuff and assumes that everyone will view the situation the way he does, but he's not taking into account that not everyone has had the experiences he's had and it's not okay to impose your worldview on them. Likely, because of the internalized hatred and guilt, he'll only get more aggressive and defensive about it because, he likely thinks it's easier than talking things over in a rational manner.
I’m gonna be honest with you, he didn’t even give your marriage a chance. You were only married a year before he decided to shack up with a coworker. I’m sorry you’re having to deal with all this. Good luck with whatever happens.
It's something you were planning your lives around though and now you have to readjust. It's fair to have a dramatic reaction.
It's something you were planning your lives around though and now you have to readjust. It's fair to have a dramatic reaction.
It is unacceptable behaviour. But you're making it out like he sat down and planned this. More likely it was a heat of the moment thing. He was hurt, and lashed out at her in response without giving it any thought.
Now if this happened often, OR the thing he said was more serious like bodyshaming or threats of violence, then I would say he needs to do way more work on himself and would hope the other person would get out of the relationship.
But all he did was essentially call her manipulative and likened her to her mother.
Pretty tame stuff.