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Myendorphyne, 22 y.o.
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Date: November 14, 2022
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I think instead of making assumptions on his reaction and reception of your gifts, you need to take a step back and be confident that you got stuff you know he likes.
It's not necessarily wrong of him either in the previous years to not know exactly what he wants, and therefore just leave it to you to decide what to get him. I mean, that's kind of the whole point of gift giving. It's not up to the person receiving the gift to decide what they get. That's up for the person giving the gift to decide.
I personally think you're stressing yourself out over this for no reason. I feel for you, but this is also on you a lot for asking this question after you've already got all his gifts.
Brown eyes are dominant. If your husband doesn't understand basic genetics then he's to stupid to scramble your DNA with in the first place. Furthermore, he can't just get rid of your daughter so his threat makes him look even more stupid. Let him leave. You can get a court ordered paternity test and set up child support.
What did she say about the secrecy and getting caught in lying about this stuff? She definitely makes it look like emotional cheating. She could have been openly talking to him but she chose to start a whole new level in restarting their relationship.
He's probably a mixture of sad, scared, and angry, and feeling like he's losing control. So focusing on every little stupid thing might be a way for him to feel like he's still in control in some way. My dad got like this after he received his cancer diagnosis. He needed time to process it and it was his way of lashing out, I suppose.
Maybe you and your mom can talk to him and tell him how his actions are making you guys feel, fully understanding that it's not all about you. Maybe even suggest therapy for him, if he'd be open to it.
You sound cool and she seems a little nuts. Just bounce, there is no reason to contact her and she could use it against you at work if you try to go around her blocking you.