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Adalline, 26 y.o.
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Date: November 14, 2022
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Hey! Not bisexual or married but in a year long relationship with a bisexual woman. So i've been in a relationship with a bisexual girl for about a year now. She “found out” she was bisexual a few weeks into our relationship but never has done something with another woman before or during our relationship. There was a time where she was obessessed with her sexual identity and would wear Pride clothing and accessory whenever she would hang out with me or on a night out with the girls to “assert her identity”. I am not a liar. This bugged me. Not the wearing bracelets or t-shirts or bags but that she felt she Had to do this to “make it clear” her words whenever she would go out with me or alone. Luckily we have wonderfull communication. I sat her down and voiced my concerns and talked with her if she needed to explore her sexuality, it would mean us breaking up, but i wasan't gonna keep her tied down in a relationship with me if that was not what she wanted. She expressed it was more of a curiosity than anything else and reassured me that i satisfy her and give her everything she needs inside and outside the bedroom. We sat down and voiced out that whatever would be considered cheating for us, would imply both sexes. She actually got mad at this, saying: “OFC! Cheating is cheating no matter what and i would never do that to you” this put a smile on my face 🙂 She, surprisingly, apologized for making everything about her identity without considering how i would feel about it. She still wears her “bisexual” bracelet (i didn't even knew that was a thing xD) and that's totally okay with me. We both now sometimes stare togheter at some woman's ass if it is as we say “model like material”. So i would say i'm lucky that my girlfriend is like this and that her being bisexual is not a red flag. She really wants to be with me and i love her regardless. I'm really sorry you have kids because i don't see a happy ending to your story, it seems she will cheat on you if given the chance. Goodluck OP
Sounds healthy for a marriage.
Trust your instinct, you have a child to think about. She showed you some crazy red flags pretty early on, let her go. I’d be wary on inviting women back to your place so early on again as well. People are truly crazy.
Your therapist would probably be the first to tell you that anything prefaced with the word “anxious” isn't something you should just live with. The “attachment style” concept isn't etched in stone to where you can't work hard to change a toxic “attachment style”. If this guy is “avoidant” he could probably use some therapy too. But while you're working on yourself you have to not undermine this relationship by being a B all the time. If someone is “avoidant” the fastest way to drive them off is to be “hurtful”. So even if you have to fake it with him then go home and punch a pillow, you can't let your “anxiety attachment style” get all over him.
We tried this and our six attempts didn’t work, so we used a donor embryo. I got to experience pregnancy and childbirth despite both of our infertility issues and now we have an incredible daughter we love more than anything. There are so many beautiful ways to make a family! All hope is not lost!