71 thoughts on “Tanishaowens live sex cams for YOU!”
Dude, what the hell? You agree to marry and stranger and you're surprised they aren't your perfect partner?? No shit! This is why most humans stopped doing the “arranged marriages” thing – it's blatantly stupid and a terrible idea if you're seeking real love.
Love comes from meeting someone you get along with then getting to know them slowly before making the decision to commit forever. What made you thing some random girl would automatically be your ideal life partner.
Blocking someone for disrespecting you is not toxic behavior. If you've already explained how this hurt you and he's done nothing to apologize, explain himself or try to mend what he did..leave. 100% no contact starting now.
I promise you that back then I’d have told you to reconsider your relationship in being concerned that he might not be over her.
Now, six years later, you’re married for five years and have two children. Now, I’m not even here saying on its own that should be enough to alleviate your concerns.
But you knew the deal and you married him nonetheless. You had a child with him. You then had a second. You’re now married for half a decade. Has he said or done anything since that statement to indicate he’s not over her? If not, you need to let this go.
If so, that’s another conversation and it’s bigger than just a single statement. You’ll have to let us know.
she is able to stay awake till 12-12:30 while talking to another guy
Yeah she's just coming up with a reason that casts you in a negative light rather than admitting she's the one who would rather be with someone else. You're not at fault OP.
“I didn't mind when I was very sick because I couldn't meet up with anyone anyway but now that I'm better his texts are less frequent.” Does he know this? he might be distancing for your sake. Either way, it was only 1 hang out, life happens mate it's normal to cancel stuff sometimes.
I am so sorry this is happening to you. What your husband is doing is sexual assault. Please remove yourself from this situation for your own safety. Please see your doctor about the SA as well as changing medications. Please follow up with a therapist. Me personally I would also be contacting the police. Again I am so sorry.
The further along I read the more I was cheering OP on. Like, yes! Tell him!! Chase your dreams!
While I get the bf’s anxiety, it’s not healthy to expect your partners world to revolve around you. Either he comes around to support you, or he doesn’t, but you deserve someone who will cheer you on when you’re achieving your goals for yourself. Best of luck to you, OP!
Wow, does he also happen to have blonde hair, blue eyes, have “German lineage” and think that a person with the initials AH (Who was also the ultimate A** Hole) was a person to look up to?
this year I ended a 15-year long friendship because she kept treating me like garbage out of the blue. She was a great friend for many years, but there are some things we just don't deserve.
Part of the issue here is you want her to see life the way you do, but there is a vast difference between 30 and 23. I’m not trying to shame you for that age gap, if she were 33 and you were 40, it wouldn’t be that big a deal, but she is still going through young adult development stages. Because if this, you are in a way acting like a dad/mentor, which shouldn’t be your job in a partnership.
From your comments, you are both very codependent, you being the one that picks everything up and wants to “help” her find various paths in life, her being the one that creates the messes, wants control to appease her anxiety instead of doing internal work, and is deeply insecure. It makes it feel like you NEED each other, when you are simply in a dysfunctional cycle.
You have a compatibility problem, and those don’t often get resolved. You are wanting to settle down and she is still floating around in the world…which she gets to at 23. You are wanting a 23 year old to become a 30 year old, and you’re seeing that people don’t change like that just because you want them to. You want a nice stable partner for marriage, and she wants a wedding, and does not conceptualize what long term marriage takes.
You can’t change people, and she has growing up to do. Which you can not facilitate or expedite by setting dates and goals.
Yes exactly because they really are people with their own personal experiences giving advice really. They are just trained to know the details of specific mental health like symptoms for disorders, boundaries, attachment. But at the end of the day they are people too who are easily prejudiced or understanding depending on who you see.
Closure isn’t real, and trying to find it from him I think will just bring you more pain. I’ve been through similar situations before and I can tell you from experience that trying to move on is the best thing to do. I’m really sorry this happened to you.
That people didn't shower daily before the industrial revolution is actually a stupid myth, go read some books.
A deodorant is just a more pleasant smell that you try to apply on your skill hoping to hide a bad smell, it's not hygiene it's not, cleaning you, it's not removing the sweat, bacterias, oils and dead skins from your body, it's just covering all your filth with some pleasant smell. It's exactly like if I threw up in my car, spread some perfume on the puke on top of my seat and said that it's now clean.
But being told from a women on reddit who can't even shower once a day that I'm gross cause I don't use deodorant is truly the most funny and ironic moment I've witnessed since the start of 2023. Thanks for the laughs
if a relationship with his grandchild is so important, he should put his pride to the side, apologize to your sister, and work on amending the harm he did by disowning her. its not on her to reforge the bridge he burned, and no one else in the family has a right to berate her into rekindling the bond your father decided to break. he made his bed; losing out on knowing his future grandchildren was a possible consequence of his choice, and he needs to lay in it.
Hm, first of all, I think if you have fears surrounding having sex with one person for the rest of your life, and he isn't open to non-monogamy, that is a MAJOR incompatibility. If you do not want that kind of relationship, do not be in a monogamous relationship. Most people are not thinking about the prospect of not being able to have sex with other people when they're about to be married tbh.
Otherwise tho, I think I've heard that it's relatively common for people to start second guessing during the engagement stage because it's such a huge step, so how you feel aside from the sex thing is not necessarily an anomaly
However, like I said, monogamy vs non-monogamy is huge in relationships. And honestly, if you're wanting to have sex outside of the relationship, yet he isn't open to that, it could possibly lead to you cheating on him, which is fucked up. The grass is greener mindset destroys relationships. I'm not saying to break up, but I AM saying that if you want to stay with him, you two should get to know each other's bodies better so that sex can be better, and therapy/couples therapy would be beneficial
Tell your current wife that if the jealousy keeps up you’ll have a far less cordial relationship with her when you are divorced
But in all seriousness having a good relationship with an ex, with whom you have children, is a really great thing and it’s a very good example for your children. Try to find out where the jealousy is coming from in your current wife and work to address that issue, rather than changing around a bunch of good things to cater to her insecurities.
Because articifial hormones mess with your body and your psyche. Heck, as a fellow small-breasted woman, I'd rather have an implant than using hormones. (However, I'm going with “neither”, personally.)
I'd suggest he try hormones to grow his dick (or his empathy, LOL) for your benefit.
It could absolutely be that. But let me ask this. Do you think that after 4 months he would or should be aware she does not have interests? That would be important information for this post, as that would likely render them incompatible.
Lmao?, nah she never said that don’t worry. Honest I just didn’t want to make her feel like I was pestering to call/FaceTime so I was leaving it up to her if she wanted to reschedule
In the past I’ve jokingly asked when he would do if I wanted to move out and he said we’d break up. My parents live! 2 hours away so I was just going to stay with them until he wants me to come home
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be a parent, and you do sound aware that you’ve known this guy for way to little time to have kids with him.
That being said, is there a chance this is partially hormonal? Like, is it baby fever to the point that you cry when you see a baby? Because maybe some medical intervention could help.
Otherwise, the if you feel like your thoughts are obsessive and/or intrusive, talk to a therapist about how to manage them better. You don’t want to end up in a situation where you’re so desperate for a baby that you have one before you’re ready.
Well then you do you. You are still young, just know that there are things far more important than having fun on a weekend and you not willing to sacrifice a bit of fun for a partner is a major redflag for most guys.
Once you are older, it will haunt you if you are not being a bit more considerate of your future. Except that, nothing else from my side.
Wow. Well I'm not sure how long you've been married OP, but at least you finally know what a horrible asshole your husband is. What you do with that information is up to you but I know what I'd be doing.
I did the same thing – Very bad break up, agreed to a blind date, anxiety up the ass yada yada. It’s good practice for you regardless of how it goes. Be yourself is the best advice I can give anyone and don’t fake it.
Side note mine became clingy AF after the second date and yeah I never saw her again.
If he brings it up again, point out you are a grown up, you were not dating him at the time so it isn't cheating, and what you did was your own business. It's not like you were screwing a whole fraternity. He should be grateful you were honest about it instead of lying about it. If he cannot accept that, then you may not work out in the long run.
OP will probably read this but keep speculations amongst yourselves. This wont be helping her psyche and mental state when ideas like this floods her mind.
While it probably was a joke (in extremely poor taste) I don't think I'd feel comfortable having her around again. Of course you were scared, anyone would be! that's seriously crazy and you don't know this person very well, not to mention you were alone with her and your little kid was resting in the next room. If you do decide to see this person again, definitely make it somewhere in public, perhaps during the daytime. But honestly if I was in your position, I'd probably cut my losses and try to find a connection with someone else who doesn't frighten me.
Your relationship is over. I’m sorry. Your partner is being an ass and is keeping you in reserve while they explore things with the person they actually want to be with.
Open relationships are never a good idea unless both parties are enthusiastic about it. You should talk to your partner and tell them you’re not comfortable with it and would like to close it again, and if your partner refuses that, you are just not romantically compatible and you’d be better off taking the consequences of that.
This situation sucks and I’m sorry you’re going through it. I hope you work it out. Your partner is being very unfair to you.
I was thinking the same as point 2. Her reaction seems like someone who was rejected and is now hurt. Op, you dun fucked up naked. You need to make the most sincere apology of your life and then leave her alone to work through it. IF she decides to be your friend again, and that’s a big fucking IF, it has to be on her own time and only after she’s healed.
Not crazy. She dragged it out past trivia so she could spend alone time with him in her car. That goes beyond saying goodbye to an ex. That's emotional cheating at minimum. There's no reason for her to be alone in the car with her ex for an extended period after the trivia is over unless he needed a right home. But sitting there, going nowhere, while you are waiting for her twiddling your thumbs is disrespectful to you and your relationship. She doesn't give a shit about you.
This is a good comment, and yes it's important to keep it in mind. There's always a chance OP's dad could want to wipe his hands of the family entirely.
If it is cheating, OP's dad is probably going to go through a rollercoaster of emotions. I think the dad has raised OP for over 18 years, so I think it's difficult to just abandon that type of bond with a child who is innocent in the situation. The dad might want some space to think about the situation.
It could damage OP's relationship with their dad if they withhold this information for 4 years just so their dad will pay for university. The dad will feel cheated by OP. Withholding this information might also lead to guilt that could weigh on OP's conscience long-term.
In my opinion, I think the best case would be for OP to talk about this with their dad in private, and let their dad know that they'll always view them as their father, biological or not. It's a tough situation with no perfect answer, but I think honesty and support towards their dad is the best option.
Rather than playing the scene on repeat in your brain without choice you should definitely chat with her in person because the chances are whilst you’re chatting with her you’ll understand what you really want to do. (Leave or try and get past it) and you can have that peace. Don’t keep playing it in your head. Move forward my friend. You’ll be fine regardless of the outcome.
This comment, after your post edits, seems almost bizarre. First, watching porn at work isn’t minor. But…what is minor about your boyfriend not being able to cum without picturing someone different? What is minor about him gaslighting you into thinking that no one else will treat you differently? What is minor about him refusing to change and doubling down? None of his behaviors are minor. They are all MAJOR red flags. You deserve better and WILL find better.
Dude, what the hell? You agree to marry and stranger and you're surprised they aren't your perfect partner?? No shit! This is why most humans stopped doing the “arranged marriages” thing – it's blatantly stupid and a terrible idea if you're seeking real love.
Love comes from meeting someone you get along with then getting to know them slowly before making the decision to commit forever. What made you thing some random girl would automatically be your ideal life partner.
Stop being an idiot and break off the marriage
Leave it be. You have no proof of anything. If you wait, either nothing happens, and you're good, or proof will increase.
I just accepted the randomly generated one. ? it’s like a disguise lol
Why don't you give him more space and time to process your break-up?
Blocking someone for disrespecting you is not toxic behavior. If you've already explained how this hurt you and he's done nothing to apologize, explain himself or try to mend what he did..leave. 100% no contact starting now.
Thanks for the explanation!!
I promise you that back then I’d have told you to reconsider your relationship in being concerned that he might not be over her.
Now, six years later, you’re married for five years and have two children. Now, I’m not even here saying on its own that should be enough to alleviate your concerns.
But you knew the deal and you married him nonetheless. You had a child with him. You then had a second. You’re now married for half a decade. Has he said or done anything since that statement to indicate he’s not over her? If not, you need to let this go.
If so, that’s another conversation and it’s bigger than just a single statement. You’ll have to let us know.
Okay, thank you. Do you think you could link an article?
she is able to stay awake till 12-12:30 while talking to another guy
Yeah she's just coming up with a reason that casts you in a negative light rather than admitting she's the one who would rather be with someone else. You're not at fault OP.
“I didn't mind when I was very sick because I couldn't meet up with anyone anyway but now that I'm better his texts are less frequent.” Does he know this? he might be distancing for your sake. Either way, it was only 1 hang out, life happens mate it's normal to cancel stuff sometimes.
Bro what. Trust me if you really loved him, he would be the best looking thing in your eyes.
Dumbass located.
I am so sorry this is happening to you. What your husband is doing is sexual assault. Please remove yourself from this situation for your own safety. Please see your doctor about the SA as well as changing medications. Please follow up with a therapist. Me personally I would also be contacting the police. Again I am so sorry.
Please get tested for STDs and dump his ass.
Yes I know my mistake now..I really love her man..I need her
I can imagine your life will drastically improve. He doesn’t give a fuck about you. Don’t pay attention to him
You JUST said in the comment above that the issue WASNT getting it up.
The further along I read the more I was cheering OP on. Like, yes! Tell him!! Chase your dreams!
While I get the bf’s anxiety, it’s not healthy to expect your partners world to revolve around you. Either he comes around to support you, or he doesn’t, but you deserve someone who will cheer you on when you’re achieving your goals for yourself. Best of luck to you, OP!
So this is what my mom meant when she said men had worms…lmbo…yuck…lol
Aggressive name calling = abuse
Physical violence = abuse
Wow, does he also happen to have blonde hair, blue eyes, have “German lineage” and think that a person with the initials AH (Who was also the ultimate A** Hole) was a person to look up to?
Just asking.
Sorry, I thought this post had been canceled. There was a misclick. No such tinder post exists.
this year I ended a 15-year long friendship because she kept treating me like garbage out of the blue. She was a great friend for many years, but there are some things we just don't deserve.
My question is, did they ever hookup before you were in a relationship or anything remotely like that?
That’s my only question…
Part of the issue here is you want her to see life the way you do, but there is a vast difference between 30 and 23. I’m not trying to shame you for that age gap, if she were 33 and you were 40, it wouldn’t be that big a deal, but she is still going through young adult development stages. Because if this, you are in a way acting like a dad/mentor, which shouldn’t be your job in a partnership.
From your comments, you are both very codependent, you being the one that picks everything up and wants to “help” her find various paths in life, her being the one that creates the messes, wants control to appease her anxiety instead of doing internal work, and is deeply insecure. It makes it feel like you NEED each other, when you are simply in a dysfunctional cycle.
You have a compatibility problem, and those don’t often get resolved. You are wanting to settle down and she is still floating around in the world…which she gets to at 23. You are wanting a 23 year old to become a 30 year old, and you’re seeing that people don’t change like that just because you want them to. You want a nice stable partner for marriage, and she wants a wedding, and does not conceptualize what long term marriage takes.
You can’t change people, and she has growing up to do. Which you can not facilitate or expedite by setting dates and goals.
Let it go. It’s bad for both of you.
Yes exactly because they really are people with their own personal experiences giving advice really. They are just trained to know the details of specific mental health like symptoms for disorders, boundaries, attachment. But at the end of the day they are people too who are easily prejudiced or understanding depending on who you see.
What a loser. Who does shit like that?
Closure isn’t real, and trying to find it from him I think will just bring you more pain. I’ve been through similar situations before and I can tell you from experience that trying to move on is the best thing to do. I’m really sorry this happened to you.
That people didn't shower daily before the industrial revolution is actually a stupid myth, go read some books.
A deodorant is just a more pleasant smell that you try to apply on your skill hoping to hide a bad smell, it's not hygiene it's not, cleaning you, it's not removing the sweat, bacterias, oils and dead skins from your body, it's just covering all your filth with some pleasant smell. It's exactly like if I threw up in my car, spread some perfume on the puke on top of my seat and said that it's now clean.
But being told from a women on reddit who can't even shower once a day that I'm gross cause I don't use deodorant is truly the most funny and ironic moment I've witnessed since the start of 2023. Thanks for the laughs
if a relationship with his grandchild is so important, he should put his pride to the side, apologize to your sister, and work on amending the harm he did by disowning her. its not on her to reforge the bridge he burned, and no one else in the family has a right to berate her into rekindling the bond your father decided to break. he made his bed; losing out on knowing his future grandchildren was a possible consequence of his choice, and he needs to lay in it.
Would you want him to tell you if this happened to him?
Hm, first of all, I think if you have fears surrounding having sex with one person for the rest of your life, and he isn't open to non-monogamy, that is a MAJOR incompatibility. If you do not want that kind of relationship, do not be in a monogamous relationship. Most people are not thinking about the prospect of not being able to have sex with other people when they're about to be married tbh.
Otherwise tho, I think I've heard that it's relatively common for people to start second guessing during the engagement stage because it's such a huge step, so how you feel aside from the sex thing is not necessarily an anomaly
However, like I said, monogamy vs non-monogamy is huge in relationships. And honestly, if you're wanting to have sex outside of the relationship, yet he isn't open to that, it could possibly lead to you cheating on him, which is fucked up. The grass is greener mindset destroys relationships. I'm not saying to break up, but I AM saying that if you want to stay with him, you two should get to know each other's bodies better so that sex can be better, and therapy/couples therapy would be beneficial
Tell your current wife that if the jealousy keeps up you’ll have a far less cordial relationship with her when you are divorced
But in all seriousness having a good relationship with an ex, with whom you have children, is a really great thing and it’s a very good example for your children. Try to find out where the jealousy is coming from in your current wife and work to address that issue, rather than changing around a bunch of good things to cater to her insecurities.
He then said why don't you try hormones.
Because articifial hormones mess with your body and your psyche. Heck, as a fellow small-breasted woman, I'd rather have an implant than using hormones. (However, I'm going with “neither”, personally.)
I'd suggest he try hormones to grow his dick (or his empathy, LOL) for your benefit.
It could absolutely be that. But let me ask this. Do you think that after 4 months he would or should be aware she does not have interests? That would be important information for this post, as that would likely render them incompatible.
Lmao?, nah she never said that don’t worry. Honest I just didn’t want to make her feel like I was pestering to call/FaceTime so I was leaving it up to her if she wanted to reschedule
In the past I’ve jokingly asked when he would do if I wanted to move out and he said we’d break up. My parents live! 2 hours away so I was just going to stay with them until he wants me to come home
And this is the honeymoon period huh?!
I’d cut my losses, he’s not relationship material.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be a parent, and you do sound aware that you’ve known this guy for way to little time to have kids with him.
That being said, is there a chance this is partially hormonal? Like, is it baby fever to the point that you cry when you see a baby? Because maybe some medical intervention could help.
Otherwise, the if you feel like your thoughts are obsessive and/or intrusive, talk to a therapist about how to manage them better. You don’t want to end up in a situation where you’re so desperate for a baby that you have one before you’re ready.
You're completely disregarding biological predispositions.
How long have you been dating and when did the fighting start?
I was in this exact situation once. It’s EXHAUSTING, and it’s not very likely that you’ll change him, no matter how many years of effort you put in.
Well then you do you. You are still young, just know that there are things far more important than having fun on a weekend and you not willing to sacrifice a bit of fun for a partner is a major redflag for most guys.
Once you are older, it will haunt you if you are not being a bit more considerate of your future. Except that, nothing else from my side.
Wow. Well I'm not sure how long you've been married OP, but at least you finally know what a horrible asshole your husband is. What you do with that information is up to you but I know what I'd be doing.
Your poor mum. You're a terrible son.
Not dating, MARRIED!!!
Pro choice does not mean pro abortion.
I did the same thing – Very bad break up, agreed to a blind date, anxiety up the ass yada yada. It’s good practice for you regardless of how it goes. Be yourself is the best advice I can give anyone and don’t fake it.
Side note mine became clingy AF after the second date and yeah I never saw her again.
Updateme!
And she hasn't called him back yet.
If he brings it up again, point out you are a grown up, you were not dating him at the time so it isn't cheating, and what you did was your own business. It's not like you were screwing a whole fraternity. He should be grateful you were honest about it instead of lying about it. If he cannot accept that, then you may not work out in the long run.
OP will probably read this but keep speculations amongst yourselves. This wont be helping her psyche and mental state when ideas like this floods her mind.
The trip you both took together was when y’all knew y’all loved each other…then he went & slept with her when y’all returned.
Bag full of crazy.
I get a woman carrying a weapon, I encourage that, but it’s meant to be secret. You don’t pull it out and make jokes about it.
It’s not normal, and the boundary is no more contact. He is a piece of shit that’s wants his life both ways, and he’s currently getting it.
While it probably was a joke (in extremely poor taste) I don't think I'd feel comfortable having her around again. Of course you were scared, anyone would be! that's seriously crazy and you don't know this person very well, not to mention you were alone with her and your little kid was resting in the next room. If you do decide to see this person again, definitely make it somewhere in public, perhaps during the daytime. But honestly if I was in your position, I'd probably cut my losses and try to find a connection with someone else who doesn't frighten me.
oh my god
No, you should never text an ex. You guys broke up for a reason.
He didn’t respond last time? Probably because he wants you to leave him alone.
Your relationship is over. I’m sorry. Your partner is being an ass and is keeping you in reserve while they explore things with the person they actually want to be with.
Open relationships are never a good idea unless both parties are enthusiastic about it. You should talk to your partner and tell them you’re not comfortable with it and would like to close it again, and if your partner refuses that, you are just not romantically compatible and you’d be better off taking the consequences of that.
This situation sucks and I’m sorry you’re going through it. I hope you work it out. Your partner is being very unfair to you.
Yep. This is the right answer.
I turned 22 two days after she turned 18 she turns 23 and I turn 27 this month
U/uniqueusername82d is apparently a fucking school teacher. Looks like he knows all about grooming
I was thinking the same as point 2. Her reaction seems like someone who was rejected and is now hurt. Op, you dun fucked up naked. You need to make the most sincere apology of your life and then leave her alone to work through it. IF she decides to be your friend again, and that’s a big fucking IF, it has to be on her own time and only after she’s healed.
Not crazy. She dragged it out past trivia so she could spend alone time with him in her car. That goes beyond saying goodbye to an ex. That's emotional cheating at minimum. There's no reason for her to be alone in the car with her ex for an extended period after the trivia is over unless he needed a right home. But sitting there, going nowhere, while you are waiting for her twiddling your thumbs is disrespectful to you and your relationship. She doesn't give a shit about you.
This is a good comment, and yes it's important to keep it in mind. There's always a chance OP's dad could want to wipe his hands of the family entirely.
If it is cheating, OP's dad is probably going to go through a rollercoaster of emotions. I think the dad has raised OP for over 18 years, so I think it's difficult to just abandon that type of bond with a child who is innocent in the situation. The dad might want some space to think about the situation.
It could damage OP's relationship with their dad if they withhold this information for 4 years just so their dad will pay for university. The dad will feel cheated by OP. Withholding this information might also lead to guilt that could weigh on OP's conscience long-term.
In my opinion, I think the best case would be for OP to talk about this with their dad in private, and let their dad know that they'll always view them as their father, biological or not. It's a tough situation with no perfect answer, but I think honesty and support towards their dad is the best option.
/u/ThrowRA_73773
Rather than playing the scene on repeat in your brain without choice you should definitely chat with her in person because the chances are whilst you’re chatting with her you’ll understand what you really want to do. (Leave or try and get past it) and you can have that peace. Don’t keep playing it in your head. Move forward my friend. You’ll be fine regardless of the outcome.
That guy sounds toxic. Move on, this guy will make you cry more.
This comment, after your post edits, seems almost bizarre. First, watching porn at work isn’t minor. But…what is minor about your boyfriend not being able to cum without picturing someone different? What is minor about him gaslighting you into thinking that no one else will treat you differently? What is minor about him refusing to change and doubling down? None of his behaviors are minor. They are all MAJOR red flags. You deserve better and WILL find better.
Don't marry this dude. He just told you he will rape you.
Agreed. That’s why I wrote what I wrote
Don't marry this dude. He just told you he will rape you.
?