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bawsemark, 28 y.o.
Location: Your mouth
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Date: November 14, 2022
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I don't drink btw, and he was the one telling me to go out and explore things tbh and this is my first time going out…..and there is no couch, its a shared apartment with single small space rooms for each.
Policing tone is a tactic of emotional abusers. I'm not saying he's an abuser, but I think he's using this as an excuse to get you to stop asking him (and it's working).
Stop asking him what's wrong. If something is wrong he can use his words like a big boy, instead of you having to drag it out of him. Remind yourself that you're not doing anything wrong, so there's nothing to feel guilty or uncomfortable about.
If you are considering anything non monogamous you guys need to have CLEAR rules to follow, whatever they may be. You 100% need to talk to him ASAP and tell him you’ve heard things from his friends and you need to establish your rules. I don’t know how you aren’t angrier at this whole situation as he is actively trying to hookup with his friends.
I really disagree that this is about jealousy, for me it's about respect. No one's asking this guy to delete his memories or his ex, just that there aren't publicly available pictures of him with her and her family, it IS weird to have that on display, and his response wasn't a measured “I don't really think I want to” it was anger.
Its kinda dismissive to just say someone is “insecure” its maybe just a bit uncomfortable, especially for OP as she says her friends and family have seen it too.
Someone having a private photo album , or keeping pictures, wouldn't bother me, someone making that available publicly would. There is a difference.
Bravo. This is a man who does NOT take marriage or relationships seriously, and is the last person you want at a wedding. You did your friend a solid by keeping him (and the gossip that will follow him) far away.