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GymJock22, 32 y.o.
Location: The Desert, USA
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Online Live Sex Chat rooms GymJock22
Date: November 14, 2022
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Thank you. My priority before kids is a solid bond with my partner. That's what I used to justify waiting a year for a kid. And that's what Im making sure as hell I've got in place now before moving forwards. Her flaws aren't hard to see, and I can see they cross her mind on occasion. But motivating that 'I want to change' element is so hot. I think it'll only come if she feels she really has something to lose.
There are so many red flags for why you shouldn't be with this man. But mainly je is ABUSIVE. He doesn't care about you, doesn't want to have a child with you, doesn't care about risks the abortion could cause you.
Regardless whatever you decide to do with the baby, leave this guy. He is no good for you.
She is aware of our relationship
Yikes. You might want to demand he take an STD test
I'm just kinda confused with these comments? Everyone saying he hasn't moved on. You can't fully move on? Grief never goes away, it fades a little but never completely goes away. It isn't like breaking up with someone. I agree that he should go talk to a therapist. I lost my father when I was almost 2, I'm now 22, and I still grieve, in my own way.
And with the pictures, he didn't say he had them EVERYWHERE, maybe some pictures. So, yeah OP should go see someone to talk to, but I think the girlfriend is overreacting. Imagine saying that to a kid???
Maybe give a hint. Ie, pretend you are scrolling through instagram and point out some outfits you find cute and find one with a chunky necklace. Mention you aren't a fan of that style as it doesn't fit you. I don't know if you often discuss what you see live with your partner but that could work?
If he has a receipt he might be able to return it and get something else. Otherwise, suck it up. If he asks, you can always say you prefer something more subtle but love how much attention he put into it.
Yeah this is a huge ick to me lol I do not understand the people saying it’s sweet. It’s fine to update that privately to a good friend but on a public story? No thanks. Seems like the type to love bomb you.
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Hindsight is 20/20
For the edit: You can just say you are not interested and you felt you didn’t click. If he asks for more, you can give vague answers like “I just don’t feel it” etc, which I think is technically true. This way you can let him go kindly and avoid a possible argument.
You even said it yourself – losing weight / skills / money. Maybe she noticed those things and gained an attraction?
That is a possibility that I had considered, but she doesn't seem to be that type of person. But then again, understanding a person is an extremely difficult task.
But I thought she never pursued the guy she liked? Maybe she tried and got rejected and is now falling back onto you?
She never pursued the guy she liked. After the rejection, her friend told me she is too nervous to even talk to the guy. In fact, her friend was the one to advise me to work on myself and assured me she would ask me out in due time.
Alright, thank you.
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16 apps for dating?…… that’s a lot
She is a narcissistic manipulator who is seeking constant validation from you for her low self esteem.
Walk away and enjoy your mental health
That's great! I'm glad you were able to recognize that those were crazy behaviors and actually blocked him, rather than try to “fix” him like so many people do.
You are so young and you have endless opportunities to meet non-crazy dudes. Good luck to you.
how can i show him that i am sorry for reacting that way and am excited for him? I’m seeing the more logical side of things now and regret the panic attack i has on the phone with him.
it feels a lot like you’re trying to find reasons to be upset with me
Yeah that definitely hits the spot. I’ve felt that way about a number of the things that she brings up. I suppose it’s something that we’ll have to try to explore a bit more
What is your husband so afraid and insecure about that he feels the need to lash out physically?
I don’t understand how people get married and don’t talk about things like this with their partner instead of running to the internet. It’s crazy to me?
I agree with that for myself.. I couldn't stay with someone that even THOUGHT to put their hands on me.. This is why I commented trying to be open and not biased, just all about me, and what exactly I would do if that makes sense. I gave the point of my girl that had this happen and it's never again just to give other perspectives…
Here's a simple rule for you:
If you withhold information from someone because you know they might decide not to have sex with you if they know it, you're the asshole, not them.
I agree with that for myself.. I couldn't stay with someone that even THOUGHT to put their hands on me.. This is why I commented trying to be open and not biased, just all about me, and what exactly I would do if that makes sense. I gave the point of my girl that had this happen and it's never again just to give other perspectives…
This is sex trafficking. Call the police. He’s using his control over you to force you into these situations. He isn’t a good person or even a decent one. He’s a violent abuser.
Thanks for making time to reply. This has been going on for some time.
Her position is ‘Yeah blame me again, I’m the bad one for not being able to talk to you about work whenever I like. ‘ . maybe she is right. Maybe it’s me and I should not be forcing her into a position she does not want to be in. Maybe I need to make myself mentally available for her work conversations whenever she feels the need to raise it.
Sometimes I reply to her calmly. Sometimes I totally flip out.
Sometime times she will say ‘ I know it’s outside of work hours but….. boom’ or ‘ hey I know it’s 6am but this can’t wait…. Wowza’
My position is please don’t talk about work outside work hours I mentally can’t take it and need down time
Her position is if you really love me you should be open to talk about work whenever I raise it because this is what I need.
I’d love to me that man for her . But sometimes I just want to neck myself & she feels I’m too dominating with what I want.
Couples counselling ? I’m in. She doesn’t need it though she doesn’t have any issues
That's a good way to go about this. The problem is I don't live alone and I wouldn't feel comfortable to do anything in my place because of that. Even though she lives alone she never invited me to her apartment.
Ohhhh girl he is married
That is the most surprising part to me also. The fact that she hasn’t leads me to think that maybe this has been a thing going on behind her back.
bro she's 5'3 in a club 6,000 miles away. it's not insecurity it's genuine concern for her safety. everyone in her life takes care of her she barely looks out for herself. i think after 6 hours of not hearing from her after her saying she was about to head home after one drink is enough to cause for concern and call her sister to make sure she's safe.
i never needed constant updates. it was always just about look ur 6,000 miles away if something happens id atleast like to know who u were w last n where u were that's it. it's not about insecurity it being controlling it's about basic communication.
Please get her in therapy. I’ve been in a dark place like that so i understand where she’s coming from but it is not fair to you. Your body should not be used to work out her trauma, and this is way above your pay grade. Do not feel bad if you feel like leaving, this is not your responsibility but if you do break it off do so gently and steer her in the right direction. She needs legitimate help.
Please get her in therapy. I’ve been in a dark place like that so i understand where she’s coming from but it is not fair to you. Your body should not be used to work out her trauma, and this is way above your pay grade. Do not feel bad if you feel like leaving, this is not your responsibility but if you do break it off do so gently and steer her in the right direction. She needs legitimate help.
Please get her in therapy. I’ve been in a dark place like that so i understand where she’s coming from but it is not fair to you. Your body should not be used to work out her trauma, and this is way above your pay grade. Do not feel bad if you feel like leaving, this is not your responsibility but if you do break it off do so gently and steer her in the right direction. She needs legitimate help.
Please get her in therapy. I’ve been in a dark place like that so i understand where she’s coming from but it is not fair to you. Your body should not be used to work out her trauma, and this is way above your pay grade. Do not feel bad if you feel like leaving, this is not your responsibility but if you do break it off do so gently and steer her in the right direction. She needs legitimate help.
As a single parent of three boys who has full custody, you did some small things wrong, but the problem is actually her toxic ideas of parenthood.
Every parent deserves and should take breaks and time for themselves. It's healthier for the child, it's much healthier for them, and it's healthier for their relationships. Parents that put 100% of themselves and sacrifice everything for their children think they are doing the right thing, even the necessary thing but it's actually toxic and codependent. I go into more details in replies to other parents, but you need to know that you were right to leave.
Sooo ur husband that's you had a long distance relationship with and hasnt ever exhibited bullying behavior before knowing u hate that kind of behavior and who u think is perfect except for this..
Is constantly negging you.
putting you down
3.and then ontop of that gaslighting you into thinking ur being ridiculous for reacting negatively to set negging
4.and then ALSO dismissing you when you say how u feel and want to have a conversation.. which should be normal in a marriage about how you feel..
What exactly is making him such a great man? I love her he waited until u had a ring on ur finger and trapped u until he showed u who he really was and ur just taking it.
I mean… maybe? But she’s young and sounds like she doesn’t know what she wants yet. So not likely. At least not in the near future.
Why can’t she invite a friend to the property SHE owns? I don’t think she needs your permission. And why didn’t you speak up about your discomfort when she told you she was bringing a friend?
It sounds to me like you’re jealous that she is dating and has friends and you’re not her number one priority more than anything else.