Listen, you're being deliberately mean, hurtful (snarky, as you call it) and passive-aggressive. She has a point in that it isn't productive and it seems clear you mean to 'punish' her with your comments and that you feel she deserves it and should just suck it up as your payback.
What you should be doing is sitting with your feelings a bit and then discussing them with her. Once a day, every few days, whatever you need at this time while you process it. An honest discussion of the things that have been going through your head. “I need to talk about how I'm feeling right now. I'm finding it hot to get past the deliberate choices you made to engage in all of this and how I can trust you in the future. What is your plan for dealing with your insecurities so you don't repeat this damaging, hurtful and deceitful behavior again?” {a week later…} “Hey, when we talked last you said you were going to do A, B & C to confront and deal with your insecurities. Where are you on that? I'd like to see some proof of the steps you've taken”. Snark, sarcasm and lashing out does absolutely nothing to move you guys ahead. If these kinds of honest attempts at etting transparency from her are met with vague avoidance or defensiveness, you'll know where you stand with her and what her true intentions are.
That's not to say that of course you are going to be reactive at times because – fuck – what she did is so fucking hurtful and nearly (if not completely) unfuckingforgiveable. It's pretty telling that she expects you to be flawless and perfect in the face of her despicable behavior. So she expects you to forgive her for her numerous betrayals and gaslighting you about it repeatedly and you're supposed to just be overflowing with patience for her but she doesn't owe you the same?
This wasn't a real relationship. Not because of the distance, but because you can't have a real relationship without mutual communication.
You deserve better. You can and will find better. What you need to do for now is take care of yourself, because you've been neglecting yourself for awhile.
He already is a cheating scumbag and already disrespected his partner
Listen, you're being deliberately mean, hurtful (snarky, as you call it) and passive-aggressive. She has a point in that it isn't productive and it seems clear you mean to 'punish' her with your comments and that you feel she deserves it and should just suck it up as your payback.
What you should be doing is sitting with your feelings a bit and then discussing them with her. Once a day, every few days, whatever you need at this time while you process it. An honest discussion of the things that have been going through your head. “I need to talk about how I'm feeling right now. I'm finding it hot to get past the deliberate choices you made to engage in all of this and how I can trust you in the future. What is your plan for dealing with your insecurities so you don't repeat this damaging, hurtful and deceitful behavior again?” {a week later…} “Hey, when we talked last you said you were going to do A, B & C to confront and deal with your insecurities. Where are you on that? I'd like to see some proof of the steps you've taken”. Snark, sarcasm and lashing out does absolutely nothing to move you guys ahead. If these kinds of honest attempts at etting transparency from her are met with vague avoidance or defensiveness, you'll know where you stand with her and what her true intentions are.
That's not to say that of course you are going to be reactive at times because – fuck – what she did is so fucking hurtful and nearly (if not completely) unfuckingforgiveable. It's pretty telling that she expects you to be flawless and perfect in the face of her despicable behavior. So she expects you to forgive her for her numerous betrayals and gaslighting you about it repeatedly and you're supposed to just be overflowing with patience for her but she doesn't owe you the same?
It is a normal thing, this is about your insecurities
Just leave, OP. It's okay.
This wasn't a real relationship. Not because of the distance, but because you can't have a real relationship without mutual communication.
You deserve better. You can and will find better. What you need to do for now is take care of yourself, because you've been neglecting yourself for awhile.