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Elsa, 20 y.o.
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Date: November 13, 2022
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If you're that close by car there is no reason to sleep over there.
It was his cord. They used umbilical cord, that could have been used to help the brother.
OP, I'm so sorry but you have to give him an ultimatum to stop all this or it's over. Just because you love him and he's a sweet guy doesn't not make it enough for him to drag you down. He's an emotional and financial burden and it will get worse if you move together, get married, have kids. It will turn into a nice guy situation where he'll be financially abusing you but won't mean to.
The best I can suggest with the ultimatum that hopefully will give him a wake up call is a long talk that goes like this;
'I love you. And if I could, if I was super wealthy I would absolutely love to financially support you and your Mom, and get us a big house and a nice lifestyle and everything. But I can't. I'm doing OK but your relying on me as if I'm wealthy. Ota emotionally and financially draining me and and deserve better. We deserve more. Your Mom is treating you like your the parent that she'a financially dependant on you, and you can't afford it. It's ruining your credit, and that's harming our ability to move forward together. I've done all I can to help your Mom take financial responsibility but she refuses to change, so now you have to. I've done all I can. So if you love me and want a future, things with you and your Mom have to change now. If not, then I have to walk away, because as now I can't do any more.'
Good luck OP. He's not going to change until he can see what he's going to lose if he doesn't . My fingers are crossed for you. I'm hoping the best comes out of this.
Nah, you didn't express it as a point only a statement that you can't really back up to this particular scenario.
Also your point about “time sensitive”. She is 25. Also, relies on the situation that they are actually having children.
You didn't say she was all wrong but her actions are definitely wrong. You blamed him while also negating her actions. The fact that you are so happy to justify cheating while similtionously negging him off for not “commiting sooner” is ridiculous. She is evidently not ready to be committed, or she would have communicated instead of running to another man.
This could be an unpopular opinion, but I feel as though very religious people on-line in a constant state of denial. Most likely your relationship is going to end, even if she does come to the conclusion and agree with you that what she’s been doing is masturbating. In order to ease her own conscience, I feel like she’s most likely going to blame you for making her come to the realization she has been “sinning”. Hopefully, you guys are strong enough to work through this, and she’ll realize that what she’s doing is completely natural and there’s nothing wrong with it, but I would prepare for the worst. Sorry bro.
I think is your stepdaughter’s mom was no contact with her family then it was probably for a very good reason. Regardless of her passing away, you should probably continue to respect that and continue the no contact.
He's obviously still obsessed with you, contacting you this year and telling lies about his life to mirror yours. Creepy! You did what you could for this person, you tried to warn her. I would stay away and block her. You don't want him coming after you. As others said, it may not even be her but him pretending to be her.
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Look into codependency and Al Anon. Get a therapist. Leave him. You are not responsible for his problems and there is really no reason to settle for an alcoholic. I wasted 8 years.
he may be r/raisedbynarcissists
Blackfacing is also very nuanced, because asian people (especially Filipinos) get accused of blackfishing just because their skin does the normal cycle of darkening in the summer and lightening in the winter.
People like Jessi (K-pop star) getting accused of Blackfishing makes sense because she does generate a lot of her “Image” off of Black American Culture and built her career in K-Hip Hop (full of appropriation), but it is also complicated because also grew up in NY and New Jersey where she grew up in 90s “rap culture” in New York so her “blaccent” is also just her being raised a New Yorker.
Why is it the more I scroll down this post the funnier it gets?
Of course you call women “females” ?
So this applies to women as well as men?
If it was just men, I’d be telling you he’s got jealousy and trust issues and needs to speak to a therapist.
But women as well? Nope. That’s just control. You need to stop this now or he’ll control your life slowly and sneakily until you don’t even realise he has you trapped in the house unable to see anyone.
Has he started making casual comments about how he doesn’t think X family member or Y old school friend aren’t good for you? Because he will. And you need to sort it before it gets to that stage.
She was venting. She didn’t need you to solve her problem. I’d just stop checking in with her or making suggestions about food. She doesn’t want your help.
If it’s a dealbreaker for you that she doesn’t cook, break up. It would be for me if kids were in the mix and they weren’t getting fed but she is an adult. She isn’t going to starve herself to death.
Short term: find uncomplicated people to fantasize about – public figures, porn stars, etc. When your brain turns to the friend, note the thought, let it float away, actively call up less problematic fantasies to keep it from coming back right away. Repeat as needed.
Long term: deal with the libido mismatch in your relationship. It will likely get worse before it gets better and you might just not be a match anymore, unless you ethically open up the relationship (in which case friend is STILL off limits!).
Even if you decide to stay, think about the minimum amount of sexual intimacy you need to have in a romantic relationship to keep it from feeling like you have a roommate who won’t let you go on dates. With exceptions for illness, pregnancy or various life crises, do you need sexual intimacy weekly? Monthly? Figure it out and find a compassionate way to articulate this before getting married or taking any other big steps. Discuss what you will do as a couple if your libidos get further apart. Break up? Don’t ask Don’t tell? Find an ‘out in the open’ FWB? Lots of OK answers, cheating on her with her friends is not one of them.
No it is a phobia it’s called Misophonia. Him not being able to control the anger is very much a problem, but it really is something people struggle with. I will feel my blood start to boil when there is a sound that irritates me. I’ve learned how to suppress and manage it. He absolutely should not be taking it out on her and she has every right to not be okay with it, but it is a weird problem that does exist and can be manageable so one is not constantly a raging asshole.
Right you never see a post that goes. My partner only eats scrambled eggs. How can I make him see fried eggs are ok from time to time?
Thank you for your response
How do I know if he’s right though, that I have acted in an uncaring manner?