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Lara-Sanders Public Chat Channel
Date: November 13, 2022
AmateurPub
AmateurPub
Lara-Sanders Public Chat Channel
I would straight up tell her that you're done, that you want a male partner and she's a woman, and then follow through. If she says anything to you about suicide, call the police and tell them to do a wellness check so they can put her in a 72 hour hold if necessary. If someone is unhealthy enough to use suicide as a bargaining chip, they're not healthy enough to be in a relationship.
Your lack of concern about this Situation and the potential threat to your baby is alarming. It’s not normal for a couple who’s still married to have separate places to live, and it’s 100% weirder he won’t tell you where he lives. There’s no good reason for that. At the very minimum I wouldn’t be letting him take my child until I knew where he was taking her.
If you two are too stupid to be doing anything that has the potetional to create another human being. I'd have called you ignorant but you've had at least 10 years to educate yourselves on sex, reprodutive organs, and bc yet, you are here asking this. Abstaine from sex until you get educated the world is full of enough willfully dumb people and we don't need anymore.
Why is this the first comment I've seen that suggested therapy
This is a thing that bothers me about so many women. How easily they allow other people to influence them. You've explained at length what a great guy he is and how happy he makes you but just because he doesn't tend to connect well with others you let that get in your head and influence how YOU perceive him.
Ironically that might be exactly the sort of problem he keeps running into.
And if he's aware of this problem as you seem to imply, he likely tends to come on a bit too strong/eager as a way of overcompensation and that can put people off as well.
Ironically I have the opposite “condition”. I'm deeply introverted and wish to high heaven that 99% of the human species would just leave me the eff alone….yet people often seem drawn to me even when I explicitly try to act standoffish, curt, and uninterested.
And I don't have nearly as much going for me as your BF does. Stop letting other people's views influence your own.
If this is something you think you can comfortably discuss there is a suggestion you can make that might help your BF make friends more easily. It took my years to figure this out but it fits so much of my life experience and observation that I think it perfectly explains why my efforts to be standoffish have the opposite effect.
Ironically I figured this out because of a really snotty, arrogant little cat I own. This cat helped me figure out something about women, and about people in general. She's a good cat…even if she was also an evil little demon bitch.
This cat was VERY anti-social for the first couple years I had her. When all my early attempts at affection got me clawed up and bloodied I learned to mostly just ignore her. Feed her, water her, clean her litterbox and otherwise ignore her. Any attempt at physical contact would almost always result in either her running and hiding, or attacking. So I just ignored her. I considered getting rid of her at a No-Kill shelter but figured a cat that hostile would inevitably get dumped at another shelter by whoever took her in…and they might not care enough to make sure that wherever they dumped her was also a No-Kill shelter.
Over the years though she started gradually getting closer to me. Physically I mean. She'd lurk in whatever room I was in. Then on a stray peice of laundry I left on the floor. Then near my bed. Then on my bed. Then she'd literally sleep beside my keyboard when I was working on the computer.
Throughout all this I would STILL get savagely mauled if I tried to pet her. And sometimes she'd reflexively attack my hand just for pushing a button near her while sleeping beside my keyboard.
Not gonna lie, that earned her a good good smacks. I'll put up with being mauled when I'm the one violating her boundaries but i'll be damned if i'm gonna have to go bandage my hands just because she wakes up startled when she was the one creeping ever closer into MY space.
Eventually she moved from near my keyboard to my lap, and now even as I type this she's practically draped over my like a damn fur blanket.
One day i was just looking at her and musing over how affectionate she was toward me when I had literally done nothing but ignore her for years. It made me reminisc back to my dating life in my twenties and a brief stint of about half a year I spent being “a bad boy”. A womanizer.
It was after i'd basically been used, exploited, and repeatedly cheated on throughout my late teens and early twenties, no matter how hot I tried to be everything TV told me a good man is supposed to be: Caring, open, affectionate, sensitive, attentive…blah blah blah.
And the whole time i'm doing my best to be the perfect ideal of “a good man” i'm watching all my sleazebag family members and friends/aquaintances easily get multiple girls who are way out of their league practically crawling on their hands and knees to be with them despite the fact that they were all jobless losers with criminal records longer than a porn star's bodycount. Many of those girls were cheating on good men to be with these jerks.
After years of being the nice guy who got cheated on, i had a rough breakup and got pissed. Not just at my Ex, but all my exes, and basically all women. The ones who I knew were cheating on good men with my “bad boy” loser family members and acquaintances. The ones who pretended to want good men and then snuck around with dirtbags.
To make a long story less long, I had more women in that 6-8 month time span than I ever had before or since. And they practically clubbed each other to death competing for me. And they were all out of my league.
And I felt like constant scummy filth. I hated myself. I couldn't keep being that kind of person. But it was very illuminating about human nature in general and looking at this cat I had ignored for years now desperate for my affection when she would have savaged me before made me remember that period of my life when all I did was go from trying my best to be a perfect guy to trying my best to be a total scumbag…and suddenly women that never would have given me the time of day were physically fighting over me.
And even now, today….when I just generally want to be left alone and behave in a cold, aloof, standoffish way….people go out of their way to try and befriend me.
It's annoying. But between my cat, my bad boy phase, and my current antisocial phase it kind of made me realize something…when you act aloof and disinterested it seems to trigger something in many people(and cats, lol) that makes them want to please you. That makes them want to feel worthy of you….even when by any objective standard they're actually “better” than you and more successful than you.
It's both hilarious, and sad. And one of the things that has made me just not want to be bothered with most of the human species today. lol
TLDR; Tell your boyfriend to stop trying so hard. If anything, tell him to act polite but otherwise uninterested in most people he meets and little by little some people will begin to go out of their way to try and “earn” his friendship…whether he wants them to or not.