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Ace, 99 y.o.
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Date: November 13, 2022
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Front up, tell him the truth, give him credit for the idea and then have at it getting it going together.
I'm sorry to say this but your friend is lying to you. If she was actually trying to look out for you she would have asked you if you were comfortable with it.
Here is the most likely reason and frankly it's just because it's the simplest answer. You two might be close, sure, but you're someone she doesn't want to present herself as close to. So you are not as close in her eyes as you thought you were. This is likely a vanity thing. Take a look in the mirror, odds are your friendship has been more one-sided than you recognized for a while now. I know it sucks to recognize this, but trust me when I say this. Cutting friends out who don't value you beyond what you provide to them is freeing. You no longer feel this subconscious need to impress them while they leach off of you.
She is just blatantly lying, and you know it. She wants people with her that present a certain message to the world. She may actually be close to them but she hides you from them. So just take a minute to realize that she only sees you for the value you provide and nothing more. This is a reflection of her, not you. Then go out there and find some better friends because she sucks.
It sounds like you led him on about the kids, and now that you've said no it's clear you're incompatible.