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Tiffani, 25 y.o.
Location: Colorado, United States
Room subject: ill put in my anal beads [1498 tokens remaining]
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Date: November 13, 2022
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As someone with CPTSD who had 10 years of individual therapy before working with my and my partner’s current couples counselor to specifically work on How To Relationship Together—this. She needs individual trauma therapy, as her issues fall outside of the purview of a couples counselor and she needs to build basic and fundamental skills inside herself before couples counseling will do her much good. OP may benefit from any type of counselor just for having an outsider confirm that many of these issues are actually hers to learn to deal with, though.
that's not true, we should not excuse cheating like that
I think this is a great idea for OP to do, I never thought about breaking up over a video call, having a chance to process the emotions and then meeting up in person to discuss the details.
And if she refuses to do the in-person chat (which I doubt if the relationship has been for this long), then it makes it easier for both sides to just move on with their lives. Definitely do this OP!!
Damn ,,, that's how women look at relationships now… PRE AND POST COVID?
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Sounds like you dodged a bullet. A good rule of thumb is to maintain your safety standards if you’re engaging in casual sex. His unwillingness to do so was a huge red flag and you rightly called him out for it.
I get that it hurts to be blown off like this but please know you did the right thing holding this boundary.
Have you tried reaching out to him? That might give you a better answer than anyone here could. For all we know, he’s probably posting this exact same thing on Reddit.
I don't hide it from her but we don't really speak about it. My assumption would be from looking at their social media or something like that.
She is having an emotional affair even if it’s not physical. I would be very uncomfortable if a grown woman my husband is “friends” with bent down and tied his shoe. I don’t know how long you’ve been together, but it sounds like she’s been disrespectful of your boundaries for a while. She also seems immature – drinking until she vomits at your birthday (so you have to take care of her rather than enjoy your own birthday) is a small red flag.
Don’t worry about if you’re “trapping” her – the real question is do YOU feel trapped? What are you getting out of this relationship? You’ve talked to her about how her guy friend makes you feel and she hasn’t changed, you have to consider if you can stay in this relationship.
he's currently my fiance still haha but no ): He didn't do so well, and I think sometimes that is a hang up for me unconsciously. This guy Nathan I know did really well at his college and I guess sometimes I think my fiance is just not as intellectually sharp as this other guy. I'm not gold digging or anything, I just imagine that life might be a bit easier if my fiance had graduated, for example, from one of Canada's top business schools with really good grades and not mediocre grades.
I mean if she's had more than 1 pet it makes sense to separate them by name. Could be 2-4.
I have my old dog's fur in a memento display as well and her old collar somewhere. I've also heard that people have experimented with knitting with their pet's hair, esp if they're into spinning their own yarn so you'd add the fiber in with sheep wool.
Idk I feel people are overreacting to the pet fur memento thing. You love your pets, you want a keepsake to still have after they've departed this mortal coil.
This is the reason my boss had us take all condiment packages off the tables. People literally dumping shit into their purse “just in case”. I could give a fuck and it's usually the senior crowd but people don't have ketchup, jelly or sugar at home?
And I don't think it's creepy with your pet fur. It's your way to remember them. Your BF needs to build a bridge and get over it. For some reason I don't think your relationship will ever be the same. It seems now he'll always be watching you like a hawk for more “weird shit she does”
She sounds horrendous.
Btw, eating the same meal at the same place 3 times a week, doesn't make her a fine food connoisseur, it makes her incredibly dull and repetitive.
It honestly sounds like this woman finds herself utterly fascinating and is enjoys making you feel small and pedestrian. The problem isn't you.
Sounds like she never heard a No in her lifetime
Chilling in the city and a leisurely lifestyle is compatible with having a child. Op and partner clearly have enough to support at least one. And a child would benefit more from having a present and happy father then living in a suburb with a yard.
The main problem here is that op’s partner wants a different lifestyle then op.
If she has a kid named Joe Smith
and the twins should be Jane Smith-Jones and Jake Smith-Jones.
Her name is preserved and yours is added. It is clear that all kids have a similar name..
Both, she’s using it as an example and saying I’m not helping more whole also bringing up the fact this is repeated behavior from me. I understand I need to change but I don’t know how to…make that change I guess?
I’m not. I’m trying to understand why you think same sex and opposite gender relationships are not comparable?
Many bisexual people are in long-term heterosexual relationships and we don’t know OPs sexuality. I’ve seen posts where the inappropriate friend was the same gender and the guy ended up realising he had feelings for their same gender friend. So why does the gender of the friend matter?
My opinion is it’s about the lying and potentially inappropriate levels of closeness regardless of gender. I’m trying to understand your point of view, hence asking questions.
Exactly.
This is anecdotal, but if her phone is anything like mine then this will show how much work she'd have to put in for it to show up as a recent video.
I have a storage unit. Easiest way for me to remember the gate entrance code is to screenshot the card with said code on it. It's kept in the same folder as my other pictures. I like taking pictures, so after a while it got bogged down under the myriad other photos. I wanted to have the photo show up first in the list, but I didn't want it to be saved as a favorite. In order for it to show up first in the list I essentially had to either send the photo to someone so I could download it or take a new one. Editing it typically just leaves it under that old date/name. As one would expect, this required very deliberate actions so it's not like I could do that by accident.
This means that OP's girlfriend either took this recently OR someone sent her the video recently. Given that he said her body looked muscular in a way it wasn't until after they started dating, I think it's reasonable to say that it was shot recently. Even if that wasn't the case the situation is still kind of dire since it means that she's trading sex videos with someone and lied to OP about it.