Trust is an important component to every relationship. In marriage, it is paramount.
What’s clear in OPs relationship is that there is no trust. A paternity test is not obligatory for every birth, despite your personal wish that there be one. He’s letting his intrusive thoughts destroy his trust with his partner. He doesn’t trust her. It’s not good.
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It sounds like you both need a little mind thought adjustment on your ideas of sex and female orgasms. In this situation you are more normal than he is stating. I suspect many of his ex’s faked it for his pleasure. While you won’t. You need to realize many women don’t and can’t orgasm from just penetration, and that isn’t odd or bad. And he needs to expand his tool kit to learn how to expand his abilities to please you. Based on what you said I assume you can orgasm, just not from what he is doing. To me this is his issue and he needs to learn to please you or you will continue down the path of lack of interest in intimacy with him. I’ve been with a fair amount of women in my life,most needed more then just penetration to full orgasm and feel fulfilled.
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I think since OP told her the “lie” that her husband said (being in love/having a crush on OPs partner) and she broke down and said it was true and she “never would act on it” and she was working on it, it does imply she had these feeling for OPs bf and not wanting someone like him. She is justifying by saying her own husband doesn't treat her like OPs partner does and she wanted that, it probably started as “jealousy” or wanting someone like him but it evolved to him.
Since she did say she wouldn't act on it it does tell OP there was something to act on and she should have said something or at the very least distance herself from OPs partner.
I don’t think anyone, male or female, should feel guilty about losing attraction to their partner. If someone lets go of themselves this is going to happen. Sounds like you’re the only one really working on it. Sometimes brutal honesty works best.
I know she wasn't happy with him and wanted to see what the other side of the fence looked like. I am showing her that right now. That is why I started it.
Unless the friend's hookups are causing problems for the house, the situations are not comparable. Your roommates just don't want to have to fight another one of your hookups in their own home again. The fact that your hookups are men and theirs are women are irrelevant, it's just the way it is with each other's romantic interests involved.
I think this is a fair rule for the moment, but one that could be renegotiated with the roommates after some time and some effort on your part to “vet” the men you want to bring back to the house. If there are other additional issues than them just not knowing the guys you're bringing back, that will be on you to “prove” differently after some time. If you're going to continue with one night stands, just try to do so at the guys' places/hotels for the time being, and give them some time and space from your hookups. If any become more serious, introduce them to the roomies and (by their own admission) they shouldn't have an issue with you bringing them over.
If you’re certain you want to end this relationship, don’t string her along and wait until school ends or right after her birthday.
Does she have any friends or family relatively near by? Does she have a best friend she can call? If so, she’s not going to be totally alone through this. She will heal with time and meet someone else down the road.
I'm not sure why you are still with this guy to begin with. He clearly wants to be with his ex but is too much of a coward to cut it off with you. Take that step for him. Dump his ass
Yes. I always recognize my flaws. So, it is
So what you are saying is my bf is angry because i was using my sick as an excuse?
It sounds like you could possibly have adhd because I've experienced exactly this and I have it
Trust is an important component to every relationship. In marriage, it is paramount.
What’s clear in OPs relationship is that there is no trust. A paternity test is not obligatory for every birth, despite your personal wish that there be one. He’s letting his intrusive thoughts destroy his trust with his partner. He doesn’t trust her. It’s not good.
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Agreed
Hello /u/ImaginaryRent4736,
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It sounds like you both need a little mind thought adjustment on your ideas of sex and female orgasms. In this situation you are more normal than he is stating. I suspect many of his ex’s faked it for his pleasure. While you won’t. You need to realize many women don’t and can’t orgasm from just penetration, and that isn’t odd or bad. And he needs to expand his tool kit to learn how to expand his abilities to please you. Based on what you said I assume you can orgasm, just not from what he is doing. To me this is his issue and he needs to learn to please you or you will continue down the path of lack of interest in intimacy with him. I’ve been with a fair amount of women in my life,most needed more then just penetration to full orgasm and feel fulfilled.
Hello /u/BuddySmalls1989,
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I think since OP told her the “lie” that her husband said (being in love/having a crush on OPs partner) and she broke down and said it was true and she “never would act on it” and she was working on it, it does imply she had these feeling for OPs bf and not wanting someone like him. She is justifying by saying her own husband doesn't treat her like OPs partner does and she wanted that, it probably started as “jealousy” or wanting someone like him but it evolved to him.
Since she did say she wouldn't act on it it does tell OP there was something to act on and she should have said something or at the very least distance herself from OPs partner.
Also 20. I know people with drama like this and steer very far away.
I don’t think anyone, male or female, should feel guilty about losing attraction to their partner. If someone lets go of themselves this is going to happen. Sounds like you’re the only one really working on it. Sometimes brutal honesty works best.
I know she wasn't happy with him and wanted to see what the other side of the fence looked like. I am showing her that right now. That is why I started it.
Unless the friend's hookups are causing problems for the house, the situations are not comparable. Your roommates just don't want to have to fight another one of your hookups in their own home again. The fact that your hookups are men and theirs are women are irrelevant, it's just the way it is with each other's romantic interests involved.
I think this is a fair rule for the moment, but one that could be renegotiated with the roommates after some time and some effort on your part to “vet” the men you want to bring back to the house. If there are other additional issues than them just not knowing the guys you're bringing back, that will be on you to “prove” differently after some time. If you're going to continue with one night stands, just try to do so at the guys' places/hotels for the time being, and give them some time and space from your hookups. If any become more serious, introduce them to the roomies and (by their own admission) they shouldn't have an issue with you bringing them over.
If you’re certain you want to end this relationship, don’t string her along and wait until school ends or right after her birthday.
Does she have any friends or family relatively near by? Does she have a best friend she can call? If so, she’s not going to be totally alone through this. She will heal with time and meet someone else down the road.
There are many many people on this earth who have zero interest in children and should be able to prevent or terminate pregnancy. Your attitude sucks.
Do not make yourself smaller for this man.
Be you and either he likes you as you are or not. If he doesn’t like you just as you are then give him a nudge out of your door so he can toddle off
I'm not sure why you are still with this guy to begin with. He clearly wants to be with his ex but is too much of a coward to cut it off with you. Take that step for him. Dump his ass
LOL, I am belly laughing. Where did you find this nut job?