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Mika, 18 y.o.
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Date: November 8, 2022
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Thanks for taking the time to help me out. I agree, and when I looked around trying to find situations like this on Reddit to try and make sense of it, the term “emotional cheating” unfortunately seems to describe it best.
And you’re right, the focus should be on myself, and this situation has been playing on my mind more than I care to admit. To the point where I even find myself going over it at work and all that stupid stuff.
It’s tough because I genuinely care about her, with or without the feelings I may have. But I think having this conversation, while it may mean losing contact, is better for the long run.
It’s not a situation I’ve found myself in before, so I really appreciate the perspective.
Yeah, it really sucks because I have been listening to all of these videos he’s been watching (he sends them to me as a passive way of communicating his new expectations instead of just communicating his feelings in a healthy way)… and I just cringe inside because I can tell he’s falling for it and it’s changing how he treats me. I mean, good on him for expressing his feelings but at the same time, he’s criticizing every single “manly” thing I do now and how this and that is making him feel like less of a man and it’s my fault and blah blah. I just want to be a TEAM and it sucks. We got into a thing today because he said “look at that Tahoe (suv)” and I said “is that a Suburban?” And he’s like “I said it was a Tahoe. Do you think I’m stupid? Why do you always have to question me?” … all he had to do was just say “yeah I saw the name on the back” which lead to us talking about feeling disrespected and when I said “I believe in equal respect” he said “I disagree. Husbands should have more respect.” He wasn’t always like this… but maybe he was internally and I just didn’t realize.
Yeah, I’ve thought about talking to my father in law but I don’t want my husband to feel like I’m airing our dirty laundry and disrespecting him by going to family. IF we were to separate and my father in law asks me anything, then I’d probably say something. I just feel alone and that’s why I’m here on Reddit.